Too embarassed to get a girlfriend because I want a non-sexual relationship

Former Member

I'm a 29 year-old virgin, waiting til marriage. It's out of choice (this aside I'm pretty normal - good bunch of friends, not bad-looking, good social life, decent job etc) but much as I'd like to get a serious girlfriend I'm worried that hardly any girl will accept this, and as a result I haven't tried getting involved with a girl in years. I don't tell anyone this, only one or two v. good mates - it's embarassing in 21st century UK.

Should point out that I'd basically want to avoid any sexual relationship until marriage - oral, rubbing each other off etc, not just penetrative. I figure a girl may be ok being with a virgin, but very few would happily be completely abstinent until marriage.

The last girl I went out with was cool with the virginity thing, but got really mad about not doing anything at all. Turned out quite a car-crash of a relationship. As a result I'll now meet a nice girl, want to ask her out, but just see problems ahead (and potentially embarassing too, if she knows any of my mates, colleagues etc and tells them) so I just back out after the first date or two, rather than run the risk of embarassing myself or making her impatient/angry.

At this rate I'll be single a long old time - it's already been a few years since my last girlf, pretty frustrating - but I figure 9 times out of 10 if I tell a girl I want a completely non-sexual relationship she'll laugh me out of town and other people would find out and do the same.

Thoughts?

Former Member

its probably worth joining a church or something where the girls are likely to have similar ideals

Former Member

Hi, although i do understand and respect your veiws on sex i have to be honest and say that in the times we live in most people are liberated enough to enjoy and want sex in all diffrent forms.

Sex is an important part of a relationship and most young women would feel that something was missing if there was no sex at all (my opinion only of course, 18 and still a virgin btw)

As SuzyCreamchesse suggested i guess you need to find like minded girls maybe through church etc.

I hope you find someone real soon.

Good luck.

Former Member

i would say that all you can do is talk to the girl in question. i know that if it was me, i'd respect the other's views, and if they didn't want to be involved in anything sexual, that's their choice.

what i'm really saying is that the only way you're going to find out what a girl would think would be by asking them. i doubt that it would be something that would stop someone being your girlfriend if they liked you

lauren.

Former Member

I think it would stop everyone who didn't share the same views from becoming his girlfriend, therefore his best bet to finding a gf is looking within a community with shared beliefs.

Former Member

I respect your ideas but its hard to find such girlfriend. Anyway good luck, may you find your dream girl soon.

Former Member

Hi,
Im actually with a guy who believes similar to you. Well his family is very religous and don't believe in sex before marriage.
I do believe sex before marriage and it has been difficult for me not to have sex with him as I do love him so much. but Iv'e been with him 4 years now. I think If you find a girl that rerally does enjoy being with you and maybe falls for you, you'll be onto a winner. My boyfriend told me at the very begining so I knew what i was getting into.

I think youv'e got to be brave and get out there. I am proof that these kind of girls exsist!