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Problem with Manager- advice

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I am sooooooooooo :banghead: at the moment and would be grateful for some advice.

OK so the week before last I was due to be attending a meeting with a contractor who I deal with directly, and my boss (not my immediate boss but the boss above her- who also happens to be in charge of the whole department I work in). I went to him first thing in the morning to check all was still OK for our meeting at 10:30, only to be casually told that it would now have to be at 13:00 (I was busy all afternoon with scheduled appointments). I said that would be a problem because a) the contractor would already be on the road so would be here at 10:30 and b) I couldn't possibly make 13:00. He then informed me that the previous afternoon he had rescheduled the meeting with the contractor to 13:00. I told him I definately couldn't make it then to which he shrugged his shoulders and held out the palms out of his hands as if to say so what. I said that I had actually been looking forward to the meeting a) to put a face to the name of the contractor (I am the sole person who deals with this particular contract) and b) that I had hoped to schedule next years work programme which had already been delayed and was a priority. He then gave an extremely patronising sorry and whisked me out of his office saying that it was no big deal as he knew what he was going to say to the contractor.

So anyway after the meeting I wasn't briefed at all so I was then left wondering how I am supposed to do the job without being briefed. I left it afew days to allow him time, even once mentioning to him that he needed to brief me. After hearing nothing I went to see my immediate boss and briefed her and she said she completely understood why I was annoyed and suggested I make him aware. So I went to see my boss and told him loads about how annoyed I was, how I felt about being excluded from the meeting, and what that meant in terms of how I do business with the contractor etc. He sat there and said nothing. I then told him I no longer wish to do the task (it isn't a job I was taken on to do- it's an added 'nice to have' which is not part of our main output). He just said that someone had to do it and I said it wont be me. I am the only person in the whole organisation who knows a single thing about this task, and had done it for 3 years before the boss even joined the department. I said I would tie up lose ends then pass all the info to him and he just sat there and said nothing!

So today I finished tying up loose ends and emailed alll the necessary info to him with a summarising paragraph reiterating my views and saying what a shame it was to lose my knowledge and expertise but that I have never been excluded from any of the meetings and cannot continue fullfiling the role fully without that contact with the contractor. (There are clearly side issues like why was I excluded? What impression does that give the contractor? why didn't he tell me he was rescheduling, and why reschedule anyway? How could he not care how I felt, and how dam rude to shrug his shoulders etc). :banghead: I am a manager myself who is more than capable of dealing with the contractor, I was doing it long before his time :banghead:

He read the email, 10 minutes later he then stood in my bosses doorway laughing and joking, went into the next office and was laughing and joking with my member of staff, then swanned back into his own office. :banghead: He totally ignored me :banghead:

What terrible management. If a member of my staff came to me to raise concerns with me about something I had done I would address them, and even if I didn't agree I would diplomatically deal with the situation and make it clear how valued that team member is and how sorry I am that they feel that way. :banghead:

So what do I do? I feel like yelling at him and telling him exactly what I think. But I am so angry that he hasn't even spoken to me about this that I feel like I might cry and I do not want to give him that satisfaction and have him thinking I am weak.


  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think the only thing you can do in the circumstances is complain to his boss. Explain your case more or less as you have explained it to us, and say that you found this guy's behaviour towards you rude and ask for an explanation. Like you say, it doesn't sound like he is a particularly good manager.
  • Options
    LauraOLauraO Posts: 535 Incredible Poster
    Hi Fruit_Loop :wave:

    Sorry to hear about the frustration you are experiencing at work at the moment *hug* . A manager’s job is to make you feel supported and happy in your role, not to make you feel undermined and uncomfortable. Just because they are more senior than you doesn’t mean they are doing their job properly, but I understand that their seniority may well make you feel worried about taking this issue further.

    Communication is definitely the key in this situation; if you do not speak to someone about how you feel you are likely to become more and more resentful and unhappy at work which could result in you wanting to leave your job. Overthehill suggested speaking to the person in question's manager. Have you also thought about speaking to your line manager again, or talking to someone in HR? It’s best to think thoroughly about who is appropriate to approach in your particular organisation. If you are unsure then HR might be the best place to start, it is their job to address situations like this and to make sure all employees are happy.

    Once you have decided who to approach it might be best to arrange a time to meet (rather than speak to them straight away) so you have time to prepare. You may find it helpful to write down everything that you want to say so you do not forget anything, and try to give them as many facts about his behaviour as possible and make it clear that you enjoyed working with the contractor. Alternatively, you could write a letter to HR which would give you the chance to think through what you want to say rather than be put on the spot, but this is your choice depending on how best you like to communicate.

    This article dealing with my manager might help, it highlights the need for communication between a manager and employee.

    In the most extreme case this may be a sign of bullying at work, in which case these articles may help too bullying at work and dealing with bullying at work.

    Hope this is helpful as a starting point, please do let us know how you get on,

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