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feel alot of jealousy when i see flirting or couples
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Im 23 and never had a girlfriend and started another semester in school. today on the way home from school i saw a girl flirting with a guy on the train and i got this jealous panic thing in my stomach. im not trying to sound self absorbed or anything or make it about me, but i felt jealous and annoyed, because here was this young guy flirting with a nice looking woman and she was flirting with him and asking him questions and i was sitting right there and it made me feel jealous, probablly because ive never had a gf, and women dont ever flirt with me. this semester has gotten better and ive started making more women aqquaintences but this slapped me right in the face, and in general when i see happy couples my age or people fliritng with each other i get jealous, how can i be "that guy" or the winner who flirts with women and who women find attractive? i tried to upload my picture to the profile but i cant but ill send you a pic i wouldint say im a handsomely wonderful looking guy but im not freddy kreuger either.
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Comments
It's really normal to feel envious when you see people who have something that you really want - but you have to keep in mind that when you see two people looking really happy like that, all you are getting is one tiny glimpse into a situation which might be very different to how you think.
There's a quote I like 'we judge our insides by everyone elses outsides' which I think applies to lots of situations like this. You see something like a guy flirting with a girl and immediately assume that he is incredibly happy and successful with women because of one moment of his life you have seen - and then you feel really bad because you don't feel you match to how you think he is. It is easier said than done but try to be comfortable with who you are rather than beating yourself up over what you feel you are not.
In fact, it's usually a bad idea to compare ourselves with anyone else (neither when it makes you feel better, nor when it makes you feel worse) - because we never have the full picture and everybody has a whole range of strengths and weaknesses - it's never a true comparison. Instead, try to focus on your life and what is happening with you. You say you have started to get to know more women - that's great. A lot of friendships and relationships are built slowly and over time and the more comfortable you are with yourself and who you are, the easier it will be to find women who you feel comfortable with.
Hope that helps a little.