The hardest stage?

Former Member

My child is nearly 11 now and the hardest stage so far has been the late toddler stage - school age. Pure hell. Very cute but v. hard.

What has been the hardest stage for you so far and/or what are you dreading?

I think the mid teens might get a little tough...

Former Member

katralla wrote: »

My child is nearly 11 now and the hardest stage so far has been the late toddler stage - school age. Pure hell. Very cute but v. hard.

What has been the hardest stage for you so far and/or what are you dreading?

I think the mid teens might get a little tough...

I think when the twins were about three and the youngest was literally a baby. There was that adjustment stage where there's someone new in the house who's a lot more fragile and suddenly Mummy and Daddy time is going to a new baby (and Mummy is also very, very, very tired and doesn't want to play).

But yeah everything I've heard and remember about the mid-teens says that it's a hard few years...

Former Member

Late teens - he wants to be treated like an adult but without any responsibility. It's been a hard slog. Especially trying to teach him that the world does not exist purely for his benefit...

Former Member

Honing in on the early teens over here, and my 12yo brother is short-tempered, emotional, provocative, forgetful, and seems to have a near constant erection. Poor chap.

I was pretty spectacular in my day...

Former Member

I'm not a parent, but gonna answer anyway

I'm a twin and think the toddler stage was hard for my mum... I think we got better though as she did manage to take us both to Australia (without my dad) when we were 4 which I think is pretty damn impressive.

I know I put my mum through hell from about 11-14. I made her cry once which I totally hated myself for, so I guess that must have been really quite hard for her. My sister didn't really cause many problems... (maybe I just made up for it :P)

Former Member

You only made your mother cry once? What were you - an angel?

Former Member

Evenstar wrote: »

Honing in on the early teens over here, and my 12yo brother is short-tempered, emotional, provocative, forgetful, and seems to have a near constant erection. Poor chap.

Near constant erection = short-tempered, emotional, provocative, forgetful

The scourge of puberty.

Former Member

i will ask my mum this and reply later :P i am betting 11-14 also

Former Member

katralla wrote: »

You only made your mother cry once? What were you - an angel?

Ha ha, I was thinking the same. I think I was relatively mild in terms of my angry teenage rebellion and I made my mum cry loads of times! Maybe my mum's just a wuss.

For me (ok, so my experience is limited) the hardest thing so far has been when she was a newborn. I expected poo and sick and no sleep, but I think I was woefully underprepared for just how tough it'd be. I think what made it harder is the expectation that everthing would be wonderful and magical, and I felt like an awful, awful mother because I was struggling.

The first few weeks she didn't sleep for more than about 20 minutes at a time unless she was being held, and she ate every 90 minutes around the clock. I was sleep deprived almost to the point of insanity, still getting my head round feeding her (off cracked, bleeding nipples cause she had her own special way of latching on :thumb: ), lucky if I even found the time to have a wee, still recovering from a long, traumatic labour and major surgery and swamped by well-meaning but highly irritating visitors, who dished out well meaning but highly irritating advice (if one more person told me to sleep when she slept, I might have punched them).

Once we got to about week 4 (and I was getting at least 4 hours sleep a night, albeit in 1 to 2 hour chunks), everything got a whole hell of a lot easier. Although I'm still lucky if I have time to have a wee, I'm finding the whole experience has swung over to 'enjoyable' from 'gruelling'.

I am least looking forward to the teenage years, particularly if she's anything like I was.

Former Member

katralla wrote: »

You only made your mother cry once? What were you - an angel?

Well no... It depends on the person. So for me, I've seen my mum cry twice. Once when someone close died, and once during a particularly bad argument we had... so yeah, it was a big thing.

Former Member

Oh

I thought this was in the sex forum and, given the title, i thought it might appeal to me.

I'll get me coat.

Former Member

Kaff wrote: »

For me (ok, so my experience is limited) the hardest thing so far has been when she was a newborn. I expected poo and sick and no sleep, but I think I was woefully underprepared for just how tough it'd be. I think what made it harder is the expectation that everthing would be wonderful and magical, and I felt like an awful, awful mother because I was struggling.

The first few weeks she didn't sleep for more than about 20 minutes at a time unless she was being held, and she ate every 90 minutes around the clock. I was sleep deprived almost to the point of insanity, still getting my head round feeding her (off cracked, bleeding nipples cause she had her own special way of latching on :thumb: ), lucky if I even found the time to have a wee, still recovering from a long, traumatic labour and major surgery and swamped by well-meaning but highly irritating visitors, who dished out well meaning but highly irritating advice (if one more person told me to sleep when she slept, I might have punched them).

Funnily enough, I look back on those days with fondness!

Former Member

MoK wrote: »

Funnily enough, I look back on those days with fondness!

Aye, Mr Kaff does, too! Probs cause it wasn't his nipples that were chewed til they bled, nor his uterus with the six inch incision

Former Member

Kaff wrote: »

Aye, Mr Kaff does, too! Probs cause it wasn't his nipples that were chewed til they bled, nor his uterus with the six inch incision

You will too. When they are answering you back, when you get the school reports or the PCSO/Local Bobby knocking on your door. When your bank balance is almost empty and they come home from school with a note saying that they need £30 "tomorrow" or your child is the only person not going on some naff trip...

or when you suddenly realise that actually they can look after themselves now and so the only time you see them is for food, sleep, a lift or cash. Then you will long for the day when they were totally dependent on you and looked at you with absolute concentration because you were the most important thing in their lives.

Former Member

I think fondness is the wrong word, but I think nature will make me forget how acutely tough I found it, or I'll never have another! Same as the way it was only hours after the (awful) birth when I started saying 'that wasn't so bad, really'.

May be singing a different tune in 15 years time, though!

Former Member

I would think it would be most hard when they are in their early teens

Aurora

Why would it be most hard if they where in there teens?
I don't give my mum or dad no sweat at all

Former Member

i found being pregnant whilst simultaneously having a young baby to look after the hardest thing so far. That was horrible, and the biggest drawback to having a very small age gap

Former Member

Hadn't thought of that, having one or more definitely have both advantages and disadvantages.

Former Member

I haven't gone through many stages so far but I must confess that sometimes I get so tired of the bloke's kid now that she's transitioning from kindergarten to school. She thinks she's so grown up and at the same time thinks it's acceptable to be a baby when it suits her (comparing herself to my 4 year old ADHD/autistic cousin for example).
At least she seems to have stopped the "why?" phase. "Time for dinner" - "why?" // "we're going to the toy store" - "why?" // "want a pizza?" - "why?" It was just the automatic response to everything at some point.

But it's probably a breeze compared to the teenage years. I'm kinda glad I'm not her parent. Gives me a few extra years and then dad will hopefully be so experienced he'll deal with our kid singlehandedly *wishful thinking*

Former Member

After spending every day for 6 weeks in america with a pair of 18 month old twins and a crazy 3 year old, from what I saw the mad 3 year old stage looks like the hardest. There were times when literally nothing worked and both parents were at breaking point.