Home Sex & Relationships
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨

Not drinking and socialising

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I am seriously considering becoming tee total for several reasons:
  • I have had issues with drinking, private drinking and self-harm (doctor told me I was on a road to alcoholism a couple of years ago)
  • Alcoholism in the family
  • I feel shit the next day
  • I think it impacts my mental health badly
  • I get the natural feel good vibe from the gym and am trying to lose weight
  • It's bloody expensive
  • I don't know if I feel socialising with people soley down the pub is always great for relationships... I mean if the mind state is altered, how true is it?
  • I'd like to get more in to Buddhism

At the moment, I am not 'problem drinking' and have found a new passion for health, reading books, working out, I've managed to shift 17 pounds since April and am still shrinking and enjoying life.

I have plenty of friends in London, but a lot of the time when I meet them, it's down the pub and I'd like to get away from that scene. I don't like not remembering things, or ending up broke, or not being sharp in the mind... I don't know if I even really like pubs in general

Any advice on socialising and not drinking? I was thinking some kinda sport, or theatre or something... But most my mates like to drink a lot.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Firstly congrats on the weight loss and new found life activities :) have you tried suggesting to your friends going anywhere other than the pub? What other interests do your friends have besides drinking?
    Two off my best mates work in a local pub and I'm not a big drinker, but I still manage to go see them, be sociable and just stick to coke or soft drinks
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I like to go out with my friends here and have a drink, and sometimes we do just meet up for food and drinks but a lot of the time we meet in a pub to see some live music, or a band playing which is really nice, even if it's something we haven't seen before (a few weeks ago we went to see some afrobeats band) and we didn't drink loads, just enjoyed the music, but it was still pub based- maybe this is something you can try?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I can often go 6-8 weeks without touching a drop of alcohol at all, I think its becoming quite a lot more common for people to be teetotal as well.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    if you go down the pub, you don't have to drink. You could just have lemonade or something.
  • FizFiz Deactivated Posts: 44 Boards Initiate
    It's great that you're taking some positive steps to changing something you're fed up with it. Just a small idea but have you spoken to your friends about this and got them on side? Then if you do go out to the pub with them, you'd hope, they'll be able to give you the support on the night you need. Well done on how far you've already come and let us know how it goes from here on in. Fiz
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Do it mate! I am on the road to tee-totalness myself. I split up with someone who smoked and drank quite a bit a few months ago, and since then my lifestyle has totally changed. I do vigorous exercise 4 times a week (which still doesn't feel like much). I am very social and love clubbing (pubs not so much), but especially since I was pregnant a couple of months ago, I just can't handle alcohol anymore. Even one gives me a hangover, and I just feel tired and dull after drinking. Coupled with the fact that alcohol is fuuuull of calories, I would rather be bouncy and sociable and be able to hang off cliffs the next day rather than mope about wishing I hadn't drunk.

    I have met loads of people through my main sport - climbing - most of whom are really into it and so have less time for alcoholic activities. My best friends do cocktails and stuff, but I will have some food and a coke instead of booze - we rarely go out to get wasted anyway. When it comes to clubbing, I am always there for the music, and when I'm bopping around no one is going to notice whether I'm sober or drunk. In fact most of my friends are appreciative of the fact that we dooon't need to be wasted to have a good night out.

    I say, just arrange places to meet other than the pub - I abandoned those a while ago - go for food instead, or coffee or do an activity together - you'll probably spend less money. If aaalll they want to do is spend their lives in pubs, maybe you should look for new friends with more similiar interests?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Outdoors type activities are generally good for low drinking, although not exempt.

    By the sounds of it though, pubs and drinking excessively seem to go hand in hand in your life. I'm by no means tee total, and fairly frequently meet up with friends for a drink and a catch up - but it's pretty common that we'll both be on soft drinks or coffees. Does depend slightly on the type of pub you go to, but as a guide if you want places to meet people in the evening that aren't so getting hammered focussed, ones without extensive shot lists and with proper coffee machines are a good starting point (even if you don't drink coffee).

    The problem with sports clubs is the social bit often takes place afterwards in the pub, or at least has with most I've ever been involved in, but it's been going for a quick half and a chat, or soft drinks and coffee rather than a boozey late night.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well I have not drank booze for 2 months... Which is long for me. Mentally, I feel quite well considering it's winter...

    I am off to see some mates t'morrow and know I'll be the only sober person... I have been other places, including a party and have had no problem being the only non drinker too.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Great :) i'm pleased for you!

    My issue is, if i'm not drinking i do get tired early, about 11/12 and just want to curl up in bed- but i think redbull solves this problem :D
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Take solice in the amusement of the your mates drunken antics :)
Sign In or Register to comment.