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Remember Farjana who was banned?

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    sorry if everybody knows this and i've missed the point :p but on depressedgals eating disorders website Annie uses the name farjana. or are depressedgal, annie, hollyboo etc all the same person? what about that avatar of agony person? eeee i dont know

    Confused ? You will be after tonight's episode of The Site.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    sorry if everybody knows this and i've missed the point :p but on depressedgals eating disorders website Annie uses the name farjana. or are depressedgal, annie, hollyboo etc all the same person? what about that avatar of agony person? eeee i dont know

    I was thinking Annie too. That's because she blanked out one of her posts on pg2 of this thread, like she gave herself away and is now trying to cover it up.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I am not depressedgal or avatar of agony they keep track of ip adrresses and all and I only have 2 computers and I only use one x
    I am not depressedgal or avater of agony so don't get them involved!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Depending on your ISP you may well have a different IP address everytime you go on the internet, so unless someone with multiple accounts was to logon to both within a short ish time frame, then the same IP wouldnt show up.

    If its two computers in the same house, linking through the same router, then they would both show up as having the same IP anyway.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Im actually suprised that this thread hasnt been locked yet.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    G wrote: »
    Depending on your ISP you may well have a different IP address everytime you go on the internet, so unless someone with multiple accounts was to logon to both within a short ish time frame, then the same IP wouldnt show up.

    If its two computers in the same house, linking through the same router, then they would both show up as having the same IP anyway.

    I have the same IP everytime it ddoesn't change I say Allah I am not depressedgal or avatar of agony and if I lie now I will get so badly sinnned so please beelive me that I am not DepressedGal or Avatar Of Agony......
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Jaloux wrote: »
    Am I the only one who is completely clueless regarding what this thread is all about?

    Nope!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    **Annie** wrote: »
    I have the same IP everytime it ddoesn't change I say Allah I am not depressedgal or avatar of agony and if I lie now I will get so badly sinnned so please beelive me that I am not DepressedGal or Avatar Of Agony......

    yeah your deff not depressedgal, but tbh you got her involved when you went on her site and started stirring because you have done the exact same as you do on here on her site as well and its not fair. I don't understand why there is multiple accounts, why bother?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    **Annie** wrote: »
    I have the same IP everytime it ddoesn't change I say Allah I am not depressedgal or avatar of agony and if I lie now I will get so badly sinnned so please beelive me that I am not DepressedGal or Avatar Of Agony......

    I say god if I lie now I will get so badly sinnned so please beelive me that pigs can fly.

    Now this is a personal view, but if you were that committed a Muslim, would you have to preach it to back yourself up in here if accused of lying? You should have faith enough in your convictions.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't understand why there is multiple accounts, why bother?

    I don't either. Yes, on nother forum I do have 2 accounts; but that's more "I wanted to post something and don't want people who know me, to know it's me".
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    As opposed to someone who keeps creating new accounts to hassle this place.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    RubberSkin wrote: »
    Confused ? You will be after tonight's episode of The Site.
    :lol:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Not to be rude, but i dont think this witch hunt you've created is really whats needed in this case, the more grown up mature way to deal with this, would have been to have a chat with the mods rather than singling out annie right here in front of everyone.

    I know its difficult when you want to help but feel like your getting the piss taken out of you, but surely its better to give the benefit of the doubt and give advice anyway (surely if its bothering you that much there is an ignore button for you to use) and let the mods do their jobs. Not to mention what kinda of atmosphere is this creating for new people who come along and see a big group attacking a this one individual.

    Personally i'd rather we were giving out good advice even if the poster may not be genuine so that genuine posters who come along later can get the benefit rather than attacking someone who we dont even know if they are being dishonest.

    just my 2p
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Should the MODS then delete this and take some action as well?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Not to be rude, but i dont think this witch hunt you've created is really whats needed in this case, the more grown up mature way to deal with this, would have been to have a chat with the mods rather than singling out annie right here in front of everyone.

    I know its difficult when you want to help but feel like your getting the piss taken out of you, but surely its better to give the benefit of the doubt and give advice anyway (surely if its bothering you that much there is an ignore button for you to use) and let the mods do their jobs. Not to mention what kinda of atmosphere is this creating for new people who come along and see a big group attacking a this one individual.

    Personally i'd rather we were giving out good advice even if the poster may not be genuine so that genuine posters who come along later can get the benefit rather than attacking someone who we dont even know if they are being dishonest.

    just my 2p

    :yes:

    I've been staying out of this, because I really don't think this is the way to handle it. I thought the same as you guys, but PMed a mod weeks ago instead of creating this whole public thing.

    At the end of the day, this is still a young girl who may or may not have some pretty serious problems. And this ganging up and witch hunt isn't really going to help anything. And even if that doesn't concern you, I think the impact of what you're saying on how new visitors view thesite.org should matter to you.

    Can we just maybe leave this thread for now and end the debate? I'm sure the mods will be along soon anyway.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Her problems are worrying and it is frustrating seeing all her threads/posts and not sure what to make of them. AThiefAWhoreAndALiar is right though.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    .Leanne. wrote: »
    AThiefAWhoreAndALiar is right. Leave it to the mods.

    :yes:

    I'm pretty sure they are aware of the situation especially if you have already PMed them. They will deal with it, we can't.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    tinfoilhat.jpg
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think G's problem is that he's not getting much response off the mods, and he's had a quite few baiting PM's of user in question.

    I saw the website before is was shut down, and what annoyed me was that the user had a lot of posts about depression, and none about her abuse, which leads me to believe it isn't true. This user can do what they want, it's no skin off my nose and the user clearly has issues,, but to lie quite blatantly about a few things that really affect people makes me angry. Anywhoo. I'm leaving well alone now.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Probably best everyone leaves this alone. I'm going to close it for the time being. If anyone has PM'd Helen in the last week, remember she's been on holiday this week. Any further concerns, PMing is probably the way to go.

    People's anger and frustration is noted, as is the current situation, but, at the end of the day, we would like to be able to give people the benefit of the doubt and, if they are using the boards in a more reasonable manner, to support where we can rather than question.

    Thanks,

    Fostress
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    **helen****helen** Deactivated Posts: 9,235 Supreme Poster
    Hello guys,

    I'm just going to re-open this thread to update you on the situation and give people the chance to comment. I hope the following will make sense.

    It had not escaped our attention that **Annie** was somehow linked to Hollyboo, tish tash et al and so here I'll try and explain what happened.

    The way that **Annie** joined this time - initially as Alarna - getting to know people through live chat and posting constructively gave us an opportunity to try something we rarely do which is to give someone the chance to seek help under a clean slate having received quite a few emails about the best way to use TheSite.org. When this started, we noticed that people were relating to her well and there was a sense that a more honest approach was being taken from her perspective. As her relationship to other closed accounts became more obvious some people got in touch with us individually (Via PM) thank you to those people. In these cases, our response was that in the spirit of TheSite.org, no matter how difficult someone's problems seem to be, trying to encourage them to continue getting support and posting honestly about their problems would be a good way forward. In hindsight (ahh the beauty of hindsight) at this point we should have posted something letting people know our stance and seeing how things went from there.

    Alas, there seems to be a bigger problem here around honesty and use of TheSite.org in **Annie's** circumstances. As frustrations have grown and we've become increasingly aware of the increasingly confusing nature of this account, we have now closed it.

    In the spirit of future transparency - here is the email I've just sent **Annie**
    Dear **Annie**

    I’m writing to let you know that we have closed your account on TheSite.org.

    We’ve been working closely with you to try and help you have a better experience on the boards and we are sorry that we are still going to have to close your account even though we feel there’s been progress made.

    Firstly, we want to make sure you know that we have seen lots of times when you have posted supportively to other users, given good advice and written about your own problems in a constructive way. You’re clearly a caring and thoughtful person who is going through an incredibly difficult time and it sounds like a combination of experiences is getting the better of you – particularly during times late in the evening.

    There is also a sense that you have high expectations of other young people on TheSite.org who don’t have experience in some of the problems you present and even though they are often much older, they are not equipped or trained to support you in the way that you perhaps need or expect at the moment. For example, your emails to G – sadly G isn’t in a position to help you with some of the problems that you told him about. Unfortunately, because you have created a confusing identity, people don’t know what they can or can’t believe anymore which also makes it difficult to post about some of these issues in wider detail on the boards.

    It’s clear through our public and private discussions with the users who have been trying to help that they are feeling uncomfortable and frustrated about your references to old accounts, including signing your name Hollyboo. Names like Hollyboo are a reminder of a persona that was dishonest and seeing that in your post means that people make those associations with you. When using services like TheSite.org, it’s important to respect the people who are reading your posts in order to gain respect yourself. This requires maturity and a sense that you’re part of a community of people working together rather than in isolation.

    As a website aimed at 16-25 year-olds we’ve come to the conclusion that you’re not ready to engage with other users in a way that will make a positive difference to you or other users.

    Just to remind you, Childline has discussion boards where you can talk about a range of issues and share your worries about abuse, bullying, stress at school, family, friends and more: http://www.childline.org.uk/Talk/Boards/Pages/Messageboards.aspx

    Take care,
    Helen


    Thanks for reading. :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Helen,

    Thanks for explaining. I was hoping that you would be able to clarify a couple of other things for me. Although I don't know the ins and outs of the previous users (hollyboo etc) I got the impression from the above email that the reason why these other accounts were banned wasn't as 'simple' as just abusing/harrassing other members of TheSite community (I may have got this wrong though.) From your above email it seems that dishonesty on the individual's account was the reason for the ban, if this were the case, although frustrating for other users in terms of giving advice for someone who potentially doesn't need it, there may be others - present or future - who visit TheSite with similar problems who would benefit from that advice... or parts of it. So the 'banning' of a user and consequent discussion on the boards may put people off seeking help who may need it.

    I may have got completely the wrong end of the stick (and apologies if I have) I'm not trying to cause a debate, but was just concerned that the wrong impression could be given by banning users in this way. The fact that so many accounts have been set up by the same individual is concerning in itself and my worry would be that this issue could have been resolved differently.

    I'd appreciate it if you could just clarify these points for me. Again apologies if I'm being dense (or if this would have been better suited to PM)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    betsy wrote: »
    From your above email it seems that dishonesty on the individual's account was the reason for the ban, if this were the case, although frustrating for other users in terms of giving advice for someone who potentially doesn't need it, there may be others - present or future - who visit TheSite with similar problems who would benefit from that advice... or parts of it. So the 'banning' of a user and consequent discussion on the boards may put people off seeking help who may need it.

    I think Jim mentioned (this was a while ago) that it was more the age thing - Hollyboo et al, appear to be only something like 13. The mods felt that this place wasn't appropriate.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks for the explanation Helen. Hope you had a great holiday xx.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    betsy wrote: »
    From your above email it seems that dishonesty on the individual's account was the reason for the ban, if this were the case, although frustrating for other users in terms of giving advice for someone who potentially doesn't need it, there may be others - present or future - who visit TheSite with similar problems who would benefit from that advice... or parts of it. So the 'banning' of a user and consequent discussion on the boards may put people off seeking help who may need it.

    I don't know why Hollyboo got banned originally, but the reason for her banning under **Annie** is what's known as "ban evasion". It happens on deviantART a lot. A banned person creates a 2nd account, which also gets the boot once a mod susses it out. Multiple user accounts is against the Ts & Cs on most web sites.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Personally I think it's a shame that it came to this.

    Like most of you I realised pretty quickly who it really was, but I was interested in how much of her postings this time were better.

    I'm not sure how much of the problems she posted about were real but I figured that I wasn't replying for her benefit. I was replying for the anonymous person too scared to register who would read it because it could reflect their own experience of life.

    When you respond to a problem on these boards you aren't just replying to an individual, you are replying to everyone else who may have those issues and who really need our help and best advice.

    Sometimes I wonder if we all remember that aspect.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :crying: omg ru telling me annie and farjana r the same person ?????? plz someone tell me im going insane and im upset coz thought they was 2 different ppl and have been trying my best to help them!!!!
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    **helen****helen** Deactivated Posts: 9,235 Supreme Poster
    Hey Betsy,

    Thanks for your comments - they're really welcome at a time like this. :)

    The specific difficulty with the account was erratic posting to the extent that inconsistencies in her experience made it hard to give ongoing advice because people were never quite sure of who they were responding to. It is true though that the general support given was relevant regardless and this time round **Annie** made lots of good posts.

    Just to give you more background, the Hollyboo account particularly was really hard to follow as there were ongoing changes in the age of the user ranging from 11-16 and so when this time round **Annie** signed off as Hollyboo, there was concern that again people weren't sure of who they were responding to.

    Ideally, as you say, this shouldn't matter. However, in terms of thinking about the wider community, the impact of this can be difficult and it's important that people post with a base level of maturity and mutual respect for their peers to get the most out of their experience on TheSite.org.

    The impression of **Annie** is that she's a 14 year-old girl looking for support for a wide range of problems. With that in mind, it's been really tough to close her account on this occasion. At the same time, TheSite.org is a first point of call for support and we can't provide the expert help we feel she needs at the moment, at least not on these boards.

    Live chat is still an option for getting emotional support and we'll see how this goes on a case by case basis.

    I hope this clarifies a bit more - but do feel free to PM me.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks, Helen! That makes a lot more sense now. I appreciate that this was probably a last resort decision for you to make, and I hope that the user in question finds more suitable support.
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