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Not sure what to do

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
I'm sorry if this sounds like a bit of a moaning thread but I really would appreciate any help/advice :)

Not long ago I posted about feeling down and horrible but though it was due to my implant, well that's out now and it's still not better.

My heads in a mess and I am just feeling so down and horrible :crying: It all stems from my lack of confidence, and body image...to be truthful I hate myself and disgust myself. I find it repulsive to look at myself and avoid mirrors at all cost.

I have constant panic attacks over my weight, mood swings and constant feeling down. Last night I scared my self and did something I've never done before, I cut myself. As a punishment for being me basically...I have dreams of cutting the fat off with a knife and yes my whole outlook is the thinner I am the happier I will be. A small part of me knows that this is stupid but I can't help it :no:

Counselling has been mentioned a few times, but how would this help? It isn't going to help me loose weight/change myself is it?! Urgh...it feels like one big horrible circle :crying:

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Firstly please don't cut yourself again, you really need to stop that before it just becomes another problem for you.
    You sound like you are in a bad place right now and i really do think that counselling would you, it helps you realise that you can cope with your worries and also helps you to think of yourself in a positve way.
    When it comes to body image i have great sympathy with you and indeed in my darkest moments i have come close to using a knife to alter myself just as you imagine cutting off fat i have thought about cutting off parts, i totally understand the feelings of repulsion even though i bet in your case they are not warrented and avoiding the mirrors is something else i tend to do at certain times.
    Panic attacks are awful and very scarey i have learnt to control mine but its not easy if they become a vicious circle they can easily take over your life, another good reason to seek some help sooner rather than later.
    If you think there are changes in your life that you could make to help you feel better could you not talk to a friend and maybe get some support to reach these goals.
    You have an issue with weight and confidence i guess the two are closely linked here, do you mind saying what size you are just out of interest.
    The worries you are having are so similar to my own although caused by a diffrent problem of course that i really do feel that like me you can get help to get a positive attitude to life back.
    Do not be afraid of counselling or even talking to friends it really can help to heal.
    Stay strong keep posting and remember you are a fantastic beautiful person who deserves to be happy x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I get like that sometimes with the way i am but i give myself something fun to do and that worked for me
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think the councilling will help because it will help you manage the thoughts that lead you to punish yourself and help you see yourself in a more positive light with relation to your weight/size
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    after reading this, i went back to 'post a photo of yourself' and looked at your photos, i want to tell you, i think you are georgous and hve a brilliant figure (and fit hair!)

    so there :p
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks everyone...I feel a bit stupid about posting things like this :blush:

    I can only really talk to one person about this and he suggested the counselling, how would I go about doing this? Do you do it through the Dr's?

    And thank you Skakitty :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    councilling, you can request through your docs (some areas might have a long waiting list) or you can go privately (but this might cost something like £50-60 per session)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    In the photos thread you look great :)

    It might be worth seeing someone to discuss how you feel about yourself.
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