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Apologising by letter?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Right so given rational reflection, ive realised i have been both unfair and too distant to my flatmate, so have decided to write her a letter to apologise (i think anyway)

However two questions basically, what do you think of the idea of writing a wee note just to clear the air?

And second if i post it, would people mind letting me know if it sounds ok?

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think it sounds like a good idea - often its easier to plan things out in a letter, and you can take your time to explain how you feel.

    And sure, I'll take a read if you post it.

    All the best :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah good idea, means you can say exactly what you want to say without feeling embarrassed or forgeting things.

    Sure she will appreciate it too. No need to make it too long and detailed though, I don't think - short and sweet! Chances are she probably won't think things are half as bad between you as you might do.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yea I think it's a good idea too. Writing a letter gives you time to decide on exactly what you want to say, whereas often face-to-face it never comes out right. And as your flatmate, she should know you well enough to understand your tone and things from a letter, and it shows a bit of effort. And yea, if you post it I'll give it a read.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    to be honest, its only a wee short letter, but i think it says everything i want to say

    "I really want to apologise for not making living together as easy as it should have been. I realise i've been pretty difficult to engage, so I want to let you know I'm sorry. I'm not going to make excused for why I've been so distant, and I'm sorry you made so many attempts at friendship that I've rejected because ive been to self absorbed to even acknowledge them. I cant promise I'll always be easy to live with, but right now, I'd like to wipe the slate clean and start fresh. A promise I can and do make is that I will make a much bigger effort and not be so difficult to chat to."


    Its so funny how tiny little things like us both feeling rejected got so out of control :(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think that it is perfect! If I was your flatmate I'd be very happy to receive a letter like that :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hmmm. Are you definitely sure you want to say this via letter, rather than face to face?

    I think the letter thing is a wee bit melodramatic, to be honest. If my flatmate did that to me, I would think - why didn't she just come and talk to me? Especially since what you are saying is that you want to try and be less distant and more friendly. Saying it via letter makes it more distant and more serious. The first step to being easier to chat to, surely, is just to go and talk to her?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yea that sounds good to me. A letter shows you've actually put some thought and consideration into it. Remember to back it up with words to her face when you see her as well so it doesnt seem like you're taking the easy way out of having to actually talk about it if you see what i mean.

    Let us know how it goes!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    jamelia wrote: »
    Hmmm. Are you definitely sure you want to say this via letter, rather than face to face?

    I think the letter thing is a wee bit melodramatic, to be honest. If my flatmate did that to me, I would think - why didn't she just come and talk to me? Especially since what you are saying is that you want to try and be less distant and more friendly. Saying it via letter makes it more distant and more serious. The first step to being easier to chat to, surely, is just to go and talk to her?

    Its not intended to be melodramatic, its just i wanted to have a chance to properly think through what i wanted to say to her, and saying something that has had that level of thought put into it aloud when you are already slightly awkward with each other, i think, sounds too scripted and insincere
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Its not intended to be melodramatic, its just i wanted to have a chance to properly think through what i wanted to say to her, and saying something that has had that level of thought put into it aloud when you are already slightly awkward with each other, i think, sounds too scripted and insincere

    Sorry, I know you're not trying to be melodramatic. I just thought that the act of writing a note, rather than saying it to her face, could be interpreted that way.

    You're right that reciting it would be scripted and awkward. I just thought that a good first move at having a friendly causal relationship would be to talk to her about it, rather than sending the note, because I would imagine that would increase the awkwardness, not lessen it. But it's your call :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Its not intended to be melodramatic, its just i wanted to have a chance to properly think through what i wanted to say to her, and saying something that has had that level of thought put into it aloud when you are already slightly awkward with each other, i think, sounds too scripted and insincere

    not sure if it's too late to post but reading your letter over, i think it sounds really lovely. as it's fairly short, might it be easier to write it in one of those decorative cards that have a plain inside? i guess my thinking was that it would take the stigma away from having a proper 'letter' and it seems more casual. if it has a flower on it, it seems quite sweet too.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think it is a lovely idea, and much better than trying to explain your feelings face to face, i doubt i could do it without getting flustered.
    This way you are able to think carefully about the wording and your flatmate has time to think and reflect before having to respond.
    Personally though i don't really think you need to apoligise but maybe just explain but thats easy for me to say looking in from the outside and i do understand what you are doing.
    I really hope things improve for you, stay strong keep smiling and remember we all love you xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i totally agree to everyone..writing it is really a good idea..you can tell everything through writing..
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