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Confused
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
This may sound strange but I have grown up with straight closed minded people and I have had gay feelings since I was 13 but never told anyone. I have only slept with 2 lads cos i felt pressured into it but i've never actually been with a girl apart from a little experiment in a threesome but I that's cos we were really drunk so I don't remember most of it. I know for certain that I don't like men but without actually having or girlfriend or anything I'm either gay or asexaul, I'm really confused about it and don't know what i want. I did tell my then best mate and she stuck up for me but since we're not friends anymore I have no one to talk to. I only have a couple of friends but i'm not close to them. There isn't any clubs or anything in the area where i'm from. What should I do?
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Hi sunshineyellow; I can see you're feeling a bit confused but it's difficult for people to give advice when there are contradictions like this in your explanations. Could you tell us a bit more about what you're feeling?
It's good to try and separate the sexual experiences you've been pressured into from how you feel about either gender. So, for example, if you are attracted to girls but have only slept with men, that would imply you're probably straight despite the encounters you've had so far.
Do you feel sexual attraction and desire for women? If you do, you are not 'asexual'. Asexuality, in it's broadest sense, is the lack of sexual attraction and desire.
If you are attracted to women and not men, then you are almost certainly gay. You don't need to have experience with sleeping with women to know what you are. Do straight people first sleep with gay people to know that they are straight? No. They know what they want before they even get to the stage of having sex.
By the way, your repeated term about 'not liking men' ... do you mean that you don't 'like' men or you are not 'attracted' to men? There is a difference.