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Having a Councillor x

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hello :wave:,
Hello I have a counciller who is very annoying and harderly helps me at all which is very annoying. One day we were talking about me having suicidal though and she proper tiks me of by saying why do you not go and kill your self. Arghhhhhh! this was so very frustrating I do have suicidal thoughts she doesn't have to fukin tell me to go and kill myself and I thought she was supposed to help all she is is a pile of shit I just don't know what to fukin do.

suffer in silent
speak up and stand out

I'm so fukin confused :crying:

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    *hugs* You should definitely speak out hun!, that's outrageous if she is actually suggesting you should act upon thoughts or is simply trying to test you?,
    On the other hand, do you think she is maybe not so much suggesting but trying to get you to question yourself and explore your feelings and actions so you can better understand yourself.

    Councillors have a job that can both be very helpful and very damaging at the same time. So if you do feel that there is something very wrong with the way you are receiving treatment, maybe you should maybe question her before you take any further action. It may be that the meanings behind her questions are becoming misconstrued, if so you don't want to just jump straight in making complaints before you have a full assessment of the situation.

    I myself have had councillors who I have disliked for a number of reasons. The woman that first assessed me when I went for the first time locked me in a room for instance and wouldn't let me leave unless we phoned my dad right at that minute to tell him I was suicidal and self harmed. That was very traumatising for me at the time. I eventually got out though, still had to tell my dad though. The same woman told my friends that I was probably just attention seeking after they called worried after finding out about a fail suicide attempt. I feel that maybe she is someone I should have complained about :/.
    But once I did make a complaint, in hospital they gave me a red pen to distract myself from self harming and one woman took it off of me saying that I was getting addicted to the pen?!?! So after complaining they took it further to ensure nurses knew about distractions etc in the hospital.
    So sometimes putting a complaint in can also benefit others as well as yourself.
    *hug* take care
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I self harm and have tried to attempt to kill myself I ended up in hospital because it had failed and I found out when I had feel of the rope I had broke my arm so I got a cool cast.

    I have complained about her and I just don't turn up for any of our sessions together no more she did once lock me in a empty room where I could not do anything the lady kept telling me to do think and say things that I did not want to.

    She is probably right if I feel suicidal why do I not kill myself I have attempted it why not attempt it again.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm thinking you should definitely talk to someone... If you can't get a new counsellor, have you thought about calling ChildLine?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I do not have a phone although I'm old enough to own one just having shit parents that are so up strict it the problem as well Arghhhhhhhhhhhhh!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    *Alarna* wrote: »
    I do not have a phone although I'm old enough to own one just having shit parents that are so up strict it the problem as well Arghhhhhhhhhhhhh!

    You can call from a payphone.... and do you have a house phone you're allowed to use? Its free and won't show up on the phone bill. Number is 0800 1111.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    *Alarna* wrote: »
    I self harm and have tried to attempt to kill myself I ended up in hospital because it had failed and I found out when I had feel of the rope I had broke my arm so I got a cool cast.

    I have complained about her and I just don't turn up for any of our sessions together no more she did once lock me in a empty room where I could not do anything the lady kept telling me to do think and say things that I did not want to.

    She is probably right if I feel suicidal why do I not kill myself I have attempted it why not attempt it again.

    Some cast are quite cool :p, I have to say I've never got one I just got a sling :/
    What happened when you complained?
    I think you should think about trying to get a new therapist, if she is making you avoid sessions then it cannot be helping you. Everyone deserves help and you have a right to say when enough is enough. Maybe talking to your GP or getting some other advice about how to go about changing therapists might be a good idea.

    You can use a phone box a call childline for free, that might be a useful source of help and information :)

    She is not right! Don't let her make you feel like that, in no way do you deserve to die! *hug*
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Oh and I forgot to mention... there are also other ways to contact ChildLine; 1-2-1 chat, email etc, check them out here
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Oh and I forgot to mention... there are also other ways to contact ChildLine; 1-2-1 chat, email etc, check them out here

    Yeah, there is also Samaritans too. I've used it to email etc too :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    *Alarna* wrote: »
    One day we were talking about me having suicidal though and she proper tiks me of by saying why do you not go and kill your self. Arghhhhhh! this was so very frustrating I do have suicidal thoughts she doesn't have to fukin tell me to go and kill myself

    Hi *Alarna*,

    First of all I'm sorry to hear that you are having such a difficult time at the moment. *hug*

    I'm pretty sure that your counsellor wasn't saying that she didn't believe you or indeed telling you that you should go and kill yourself. After all asking someone a question and telling someone to do something are not the same thing.

    The reason your counsellor asked you why you didn't go and kill yourself was probably for one of two reasons. One; she was either assessing your suicidal risk by enquiring if there was something specific that stops you from acting on your thoughts (family, friends etc). Or two; she was trying to get you to question your own reasons for choosing not to kill yourself by getting you to look at the things or people around you that make your life worth living.

    This said if for whatever reason you feel don't 'connect' with your counsellor then you should consider asking if you can see someone else. As it's important that you feel comfortable and feel that you can trust your counsellor otherwise you won't be able to open up them.

    Good luck and try to keep talking :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi *Alarna*,


    I'm pretty sure that your counsellor wasn't saying that she didn't believe you or indeed telling you that you should go and kill yourself. After all asking someone a question and telling someone to do something are not the same thing.

    The reason your counsellor asked you why you didn't go and kill yourself was probably for one of two reasons. One; she was either assessing your suicidal risk by enquiring if there was something specific that stops you from acting on your thoughts (family, friends etc). Or two; she was trying to get you to question your own reasons for choosing not to kill yourself by getting you to look at the things or people around you that make your life worth living.
    At first I thought "what a nasty woman, how dare anyone say that to anyone" then I read it out loud and it can be said 2 different ways, one questioning the reason why you haven't done it and the other being nasty and telling you to kill yourself.
    Are you sure it was said in a nasty tone?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi *Alarna*, I'm just going to move this thread in to the Health & Wellbeing forum but would echo what people have said so far and we're really glad you've opened up to us here.

    As purplestarfish says, getting in touch with Samaritans or Childline can help when you're feeling like there's nowhere else to turn. Take care and do keep posting *hug*
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    She actually said to do it though

    I repeat it all

    shrink- why have you not killed your self yet

    me- shrug shouleders

    shrink- why do you not go out and kill urself tonight

    me- ok wa eva

    shrink- bye take care c u next week r session has come to a end
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    *Alarna* wrote: »
    She actually said to do it though

    I repeat it all

    shrink- why have you not killed your self yet

    me- shrug shouleders

    shrink- why do you not go out and kill urself tonight

    me- ok wa eva

    shrink- bye take care c u next week r session has come to a end

    I'm sorry that it upset you... but it doesn't really sound like she was telling you to kill yourself. Where was this counsellor based? What sort of place did you visit when you went to see her?

    Hope you're feeling better today - have you got in contact with ChildLine or the Samaritans yet?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    This Councillor was based in school she help all sorts of people but I'm not sure if she likes me that much no more she said I was to snotty x
    And I'm feeling a lot worst because I was supposed to talk to her yesterday didn't go so she goes shit over the phone x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    *Alarna* wrote: »
    This Councillor was based in school she help all sorts of people but I'm not sure if she likes me that much no more she said I was to snotty x
    And I'm feeling a lot worst because I was supposed to talk to her yesterday didn't go so she goes shit over the phone x

    It sounds quite familiar to one I had through my GP. I don't know how much you know about how counsellors work, but I've been through a lot :)

    The counsellor you're describing is using, by the sounds of it, CBT, Coginitive Behavioiral Therapy, which, basically gets you to think and answer all your own questions- so she would ask why you hadn't killed yourself/ what was stopping you etc, to try to get you to think deeper and deeper still, which is hard work, and bloody exhuasting! I'd sleep for hours after my sessions :)

    Another form of counselling I've had is where she just said 'mm' and 'hm', and asked me questions when I went quiet, but they weren't the closed questions which are used, generally speaking, in CBT. They are much more open, so it'd be rephrased entirely differently :)

    Different things suit different people, and I'm sure that there are many more different methods- I agree with the others, you need to find another counsellor if this one isn't working hun. I got through 3 counsellors before finding one through uni who was AMAZING- and did the 'mm' and 'hm' thing.

    xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Don't bother with that councellour (wrong spelling lol) because she doesn't sound very understanding.
    I think you should try talking to someone who is close to you instead, like a best friend or something. Hope this helps, it probably won't, lol.
    x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I agree with your-babe, the person you are seeing is probebly using CBT. This is the type of therapy i got given when in the same kind of situation as yourself. I found it quite weird and took me a while to get used to it, but it worked wonders for me, and i cant thank my councillor enough for everything she did for me, i wouldnt even probebly be here. CBT is all about questioning your own beliefs, values, actions everything. Finding out why you do things and looking at your own cycles and breaking them. For example arguememt with paretns....get upset and depressed...lock yourself away...thoughts get out of control...self harm....
    and then the cycle just keeps going around. And its questioning why that happens, if there is any thing else you can do, breaking the chain. but yer they tend you question your actions, and make you think about why you didnt kill yourself, or what is stopping you etc and sometimes is seems abrupt or offencive but its really not.
    ovbiously this type of therapy is not for everyone, but i hope this helps your understand what she is doing a bit more.
    x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    *hugs* You should definitely speak out hun!, that's outrageous if she is actually suggesting you should act upon thoughts or is simply trying to test you?,
    On the other hand, do you think she is maybe not so much suggesting but trying to get you to question yourself and explore your feelings and actions so you can better understand yourself.

    Councillors have a job that can both be very helpful and very damaging at the same time. So if you do feel that there is something very wrong with the way you are receiving treatment, maybe you should maybe question her before you take any further action. It may be that the meanings behind her questions are becoming misconstrued, if so you don't want to just jump straight in making complaints before you have a full assessment of the situation.

    I myself have had councillors who I have disliked for a number of reasons. The woman that first assessed me when I went for the first time locked me in a room for instance and wouldn't let me leave unless we phoned my dad right at that minute to tell him I was suicidal and self harmed. That was very traumatising for me at the time. I eventually got out though, still had to tell my dad though. The same woman told my friends that I was probably just attention seeking after they called worried after finding out about a fail suicide attempt. I feel that maybe she is someone I should have complained about :/.

    But once I did make a complaint, in hospital they gave me a red pen to distract myself from self harming and one woman took it off of me saying that I was getting addicted to the pen?!?! So after complaining they took it further to ensure nurses knew about distractions etc in the hospital.
    So sometimes putting a complaint in can also benefit others as well as yourself.
    take care
    __________________
    The walls we build around us to keep out the sadness also keep out the joy
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i think maybe your counceller was not testing you but saying in a way if you were going to commit suicide, you would have already? she is trying to show you that nothin is that bad to do that. you get one life ... enjoy it, dont make it something bad as it really isnt. minds are just very powerful things. more than even a very up-to-date computer. the brain to me is a mystery.
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