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Whats going wrong?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
I dont go around trying to be everyones friend or anything like that, and whilst I do sometimes put a bit of a front on to smooth things over with people I dont get on with, I'm generally just myself and wont be super friendly just for the hell of it. I do however tend to just get on with people in general.

If im friends with someone, I dont like people coming up to me saying I cant be friends with them, unless they've done something really horriffic.

All of this generally makes me come across as a friendly guy, most people are ok with it, and while some people say Im just trying too hard (when im not), on the most part Id say I was a good friend to a lot of people. (I do have quite a small circle of really really good friends).

Its not anything I do because I have the need to feel popular, im just that way.

Sorry to go on, but being like this sometimes puts me straight in that friend zone. Someone takes one look at me and gernuinely thinks "ahh he would be a really good friend" and thats kinda where i shoot myself in the foot.

I don't want to change who or what I am, but im always sat thinking what if, im not desperate to get myself a lady, however it does niggle me as its happened a couple or more times over the years.

Any thoughts and advice?


  • Starry nightStarry night Incredible Poster Posts: 674
    *hug* :heart:
    I think it is good thing for there to be friendship....it isn't a bad thing. It can be the best foundation for a strong and loving relationship. Some people do not want to start in a relationship instantly when they feel a romantic spark because maybe they want to get to know you better. or been hurt before or just want to cherish the time they have with you as friends before it becomes something more and with different and other details and emotions.
    Putting more time to the the friendships you have (that have potential to blossom into something more) will benefit and show that you are not depserate for a relationship or just looking for something physical really (which can be mistaken for your case i know)
    The best thing to do is relax....sorry if it sounds too simple and cliched, but it's true. Remember the brilliant thing that you have that attracts your friends, and also remember that a good person is a very sought after and attractive person....and i think that view is with everyone really.

    Hope the situation gets better....
    :wave: :heart: :wave: XXXXX
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You're unhappy because you're well liked?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I came to realize (for myself, not saying it's the absolute truth) that being friendly is not a criteria for someone to shoot you down. Being friendly and nice is just not enough on it's own, so if you were unfriendly or cold she might be more interested to see what you are all about, but will be disappointed just as much when she is with you, because there is not enough for her for to warrant a relationship, because being friendly is a must and not a bonus.

    What sometimes comes with being friendly, is being clingy, full-on and desperate, and that are traits that are usually an auto-rejection. Just don't make too much effort, but be friendly nevertheless if someone chats you up for the reason to get you to know.
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