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not quite sure what to do...
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
well recencenly, me and a good friend from a while back got intouch. i knew he hadnt been broken up from his girlfriend long, and it turned out we both ended up comforting eachother and being there for one another. now one thing led to another and we spend a lot of time together and still do and i love it. now im just turning 18 and hes 22, which i think is ok..right? its not even about age i dont think. wee where talking last night, about how we wanted to take it slow to make sure noone got hurt and it was right...but how do i know when it is 'official' if you get me. and as talking is slowelly, in the bedroom i wouldnt exactly call us taking it slowly. dont get me wrong, i want it. but the two different aspects kind of confuse me a tudge. I want to move on to that next small step if you get me, make thing official and proper so things seem more right, but im not sure how and i dont want to pressure him or fuck things up as hes just so speical to me.
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:yes: totally fine.
Sounds like there's a little confusion about the seriousness of this relationship based on the physical side of things and the emotional. If I've understood correctly, on the one hand this guy is really going for it in the bedroom, but is then talking about taking it slowly in other aspects and you're not sure if he actually wants to be in an 'official' relationship with you.
You could approach the situation by encouraging conversations that don't so much focus explicitly on the two of you being girlfriend and boyfriend, but perhaps give you an idea of how he feels about you in the immediate future - so you could see how he reacts to thinks like making plans in the short term. For example if you say to him something like: "I was thinking about a short break in a few weeks time, what do you reckon?" If he is up for making plans in the not so distant future then that might be a sign that he is up for taking things to the next step, whereas if he says something like "I'm just taking things one day at a time" then it may be a case that he's just enjoying hanging out with you but really doesn't want to think about a relationship. There are probably other similar questions or discussions that you could think of that might give you an idea of what he's thinking.
Hope this helps a little and I'm sure other people with have some bright/ideas insights too.