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What to do / how to do it??

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
So I was out with a few friends from work last night, and I somehow plucked up the courage to approach a girl who in my opinion was absolutely enthralling with an amazing smile and eyes, and we were talking for a few hours, laughing and joking and we even exchanged numbers.

Today when I texted her I fully expected her not to show any interest at all, but instead she did text me back, and asked for my facebook account so she could add me. We've had a small conversation on facebook but she did say she was tired and wanted to chill and eat pizza.

I want to ask this girl out on a date to see if there's anything there, but how do I ask her? I don't want to do it over facebook because I think that screams "CHICKEN!" but at the same time, the face to face situation might not present itself ever again. I didn't want to ask while I was a bit tipsy incase she feared it wasn't genuine, but now I've sobered up and spoke with her, I would really like to get to know her more. How do I know if she's interested in me aswell? The conversation we had was friendly, but I don't want to read anything into it. :banghead:

How / What should I do?

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    call her?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    That's what I want to do, but how do I know if she's alone and available to talk? It's also finding the right words to say and then preparing myself for the possible outcomes of the question. Do I do it now, or wait a few days?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    When she answrs the phone ask if shes available for a few minutes, if not, then say you'll call her back.

    If yes, then ask her if she wants to go for a drink sometime. There's only one way to found out what she'll say
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lexi99 wrote: »
    When she answrs the phone ask if shes available for a few minutes, if not, then say you'll call her back.

    If yes, then ask her if she wants to go for a drink sometime. There's only one way to found out what she'll say

    Lexi, you're a girl. How would YOU want to be asked out on a date??
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Why not just ask her out as a friend and just see how things develop without putting yourself under pressure that it's a 'date'?

    You'll be far more relaxed and therefore probably make an even better impression.

    So be casual about it on Facebook. Say something like, "Hey, I had a good laugh the other night. We had a good time". She'll likely say that she did too, so then you can casually ask her why not meet out again this coming weekend.

    If she sounds keen and makes a commitment to a day, you can probably safely assume that you can turn up the dial and arrange a proper date next time (presuming that you haven't thrown up on her that night). :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Canyonero wrote: »
    Lexi, you're a girl. How would YOU want to be asked out on a date??

    Hey, how are you? It was good meeting you the other night, I was wondering if you want to go for a drink sometime?

    Like Teagan said, dont make it obvious its a date, just a friendly date.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Canyonero wrote: »
    I want to ask this girl out on a date to see if there's anything there, but how do I ask her?
    You've already done the difficult part. You broke the ice, you got her number and you got her facebook. Now get in there. Just ask her out on a date or invite her to join you at a gig or comedy show or something.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    sanitize wrote: »
    You've already done the difficult part. You broke the ice, you got her number and you got her facebook. Now get in there. Just ask her out on a date or invite her to join you at a gig or comedy show or something.

    Think I might just go for it. Thanks guys!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    There is basically nothing you can do wrong, if you are not an extreme fuck up. You've made it this far and there are only two different outcomes. She either likes you that way or not. If you are doing badly she might even switch from likes you that way to does not like you that way, if you come on too strong, seem needy or desperate. Let's just assume there is no viable way to go from "does not like you in that way" to "likes you that way."

    Just ask her out to whatever. If she likes you she will come. Maybe make it not paintball, fox hunting, or political riots but drinks, cinema, beach, swimming pool. Just do it. There is no miracle behind all this. Just do what feels right, it's the best way, because that way you are not altering you.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Not swimming pool or beach, that's creepy. Cinema is also shit for a first / second date as you won't be able to talk to each other. Drink is the safe option.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well I asked her out, and to my absolute shock and surprise she's actually said yes!!!

    I would never take a girl to the cinema on a first date cos you can't talk to one-another. I'm leaning to bowling or to a restaraunt. However, she's said she's busy this week, but next week sometime would be fine. (She didn't specify a day)

    Do I contact her in the meantime, or will texting her and chatting on facebook look creepy?? At what point in the week do I ask if she's still intersted and if she has a day in mind?

    I'm new to the whole dating scene, because past relationships I've had have sort of just happened, with no dating.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    When did you ask her today?

    Do a little bit of friendly chatting but not too much, on the date you wanna have the feeling that you actually have stuff to talk about and dont know each othr too well.

    Ask her in about a week if she has a day in mind, and thn the night before to double check arrangements.

    So far so good!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lexi99 wrote: »
    When did you ask her today?

    Do a little bit of friendly chatting but not too much, on the date you wanna have the feeling that you actually have stuff to talk about and dont know each othr too well.

    Ask her in about a week if she has a day in mind, and thn the night before to double check arrangements.

    So far so good!

    I asked her yesterday. After that we spoke by text but only small chat about work / world cup. I WAS thinking of doing what you suggested and asking on wednesday week if we were still on. Should I ask her what she wants to do, or choose an activity myself? Just want to make things right...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Canyonero wrote: »
    I asked her yesterday. After that we spoke by text but only small chat about work / world cup. I WAS thinking of doing what you suggested and asking on wednesday week if we were still on. Should I ask her what she wants to do, or choose an activity myself? Just want to make things right...

    Unless ur a complete asshole about it im sure she wont mind. Either option isnt going to make her change her mind.

    Why not say 'im thinking we should do x, what do you think?' If she says she'd rather do y, then suggest that you do x another time. Gives you an excuse for another date
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lexi99 wrote: »
    Unless ur a complete asshole about it im sure she wont mind. Either option isnt going to make her change her mind.

    A complete asshole about what?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Canyonero wrote: »
    A complete asshole about what?

    Well just in general. If you're just yourself, youll be fine. Shes already agreed to go out with you so she must like you a bit
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lexi99 wrote: »
    Well just in general. If you're just yourself, youll be fine. Shes already agreed to go out with you so she must like you a bit

    I'm not like that. I don't pretend to be somebody I'm not. But anyway thanks for the advice!! I do appreciate it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Update...

    So here's a quick update...

    I took her out last night, we went to a restaraunt for a meal. It all went very well, we had such a great laugh and I saw her on the last train home to make sure she got on it safely. I didn't attempt a kiss or anything because I was too nervous, and didn't know how she'd respond (I don't know if that was a mistake or not...my friend tells me I should have gone for the kiss - do you guys agree?)

    Anyway we've been texting, and she's told me she had a really nice time and hasn't had a good night like that in a while. Without coming on too strongly/clingy/eager, how long do you suggest I leave it before suggesting a second date?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Keep in contact with her and schdule another in 6-7 days x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Canyonero wrote: »
    Anyway we've been texting, and she's told me she had a really nice time and hasn't had a good night like that in a while. Without coming on too strongly/clingy/eager, how long do you suggest I leave it before suggesting a second date?

    I think that her telling you that she had a good time, is a good sign. I'd suggest something for this weekend.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well it must have been a good time because it's actually her that's suggested the second date. Apparently the second date is harder than the first because of the first impressions that have already been made, but is apparently now the time to "come out of ones shell" a little bit.

    Does anybody who considers themselves successful in dating have any tips for this? I think this time is where I should go for the kiss, because if by the second date there's been no physical contact, can I safely presume it won't work?
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