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Love or leave?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi guys, please bear with me on this one as it's a bit complicated (not the first I know).

I'm at university and haven't had a lot of success with girls (I'm a bloke) until last year when I met someone who I think is a wonderful person and I get on with really well. She is a couple of years older than me but we share the same thoughts about things and we talk for hours. There are buts though...

She is bisexual and has been seeing a girl who isn't experienced in relationships and the whole thing is a bit casual.

I went out with her a few times just casually and eventually I told her that I really like her and she said she felt the same but she wasn't sure of her sexuality (she has been with blokes before) and didn't want to get burned basically. She said (and I reluctantly agreed) we could be friends but I can't simply view her that way.

We text each other all the time but it's only friendly banter really with a few undertones in there. My friends reckon she fancies me too and personally I have never felt this way about someone before - I think about her every day.

We live at opposite ends of the country (it's summer vacation from uni) but she's going back to uni to sort out some business with housing, and she asked me to meet up with her.

My problem is that I will have to make a choice to tell her how I feel about her and that I can't simply be friends with her - I want to take things further. I'm afraid I'll lose someone I feel so strongly about but by not telling her I think I'll go mad.

What should I do? (Sorry if it's a bit incoherent and lovey-dovey - I'll clarify things later)


  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hmmm, a tough one.

    She sounds confused and i think if you make any approach to her it may confuse her further. Let her get her act together and then tell her how you feel.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    So apart from the fact she's already in a relationship, she's possibly not interested in men, she's older and soon to move away, lives the other end of the country, and when asked previously said "just friends" you want to know if this is a potentially good relationship ... :rolleyes:


    Next question please.

    Look, you've posted a dozen good reasons not to even look at her that way in your own post and only one reason why you're still asking:

    You haven't had much success with the ladies recently.

    Well, if you pick them as wisely as this one, you probably never will have. This has doom written all over it way before it even starts.

    Move on.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks guys, especially BK. I guess I was a bit too caught up with my emotions and it clouded my judgement. You're right in saying that there is potentially more wrong than right with the situation but I'm an optimist and sometimes that goes against me, even if everyone else sees it as hopeless.

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