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:( What can I do?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
I don't know how to help my boyfriend. He is normally a very fun, happy guy. Right now, he is having trouble keeping himself calm. I asked him what was wrong, and he wasn't really sure what is causing him to act so frustraited and angry. I think this is anxiety/stress related. I'm not exactly sure what I can do to help him relax and feel better. I really need all the ideas I can get to help him out. It worries me because he is the kind of guy who never gets angry. He has had desires to punch and break things within the past few hours. This is not the 'normal' him.

Please help.

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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    itsjustme wrote: »
    I don't know how to help my boyfriend. He is normally a very fun, happy guy. Right now, he is having trouble keeping himself calm. I asked him what was wrong, and he wasn't really sure what is causing him to act so frustraited and angry. I think this is anxiety/stress related. I'm not exactly sure what I can do to help him relax and feel better. I really need all the ideas I can get to help him out. It worries me because he is the kind of guy who never gets angry. He has had desires to punch and break things within the past few hours. This is not the 'normal' him.

    Please help.

    You could do with getting him to discuss how he is feeling, in detail. If he has any general worries in his life right now, anything that is sticking in his mind or keeping him awake, anything that he is afraid of. Failing those then anything in his past that he thinks could be contributing. Has he ever been through a very stressful period? Is his workload too much?

    Just try to work out with him what is making him feel so on edge right now. It's rare that someone with anxiety can't think of ANYTHING that might have brought them to this point. When he's feeling angry, what is going through his mind other than the desire to smash things? Ask him how he feels about himself. Does he like himself? Do he think he's doing well in life? Does he feel valued? Is he happy with your relationship?

    Try not to bombard him with questions in the way of a police interrogation, just make sure he knows that you're trying to get him to think about his own reasons for feeling the way he does.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi itsjustme,

    Welcome to the discussion boards. This is a safe place to explore feelings and situations and hopefully get the advice and support you are looking for.

    You have been given some sound advice from super147. Also wanted to add this link to the anxiety & stress information pages on Thesite. This information could be useful? Posting in the relationships forum could also throw up some different approaches to your problem? As this issue seems to be about both your boyfriend's mental health and also your relationship as a couple?

    As has been suggested, your role may just be to listen and support. There might not be anything that you can do or say, he may have to find a way for himself.

    Take care and keep posting to let us know how you get on.

    :)
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