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freak!

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
i have been suffering what my friends call 'delusions' the past few weeks. i suppose it would seem ludicris to them but to me it makes perfect sense, the fact that they tell me its not real and could never possibly be real just makes me think they know its true and just want to confuse me. its getting bad now, im very hostile when people say its not true and try and come up with rational reasons behind my thinking but they say its not true. also when i was younger i used to hear voices occassionally and they seem to be rearing their heads again, im not quite clear on what their saying to me yet, but last time it resulted in me 'zoning out' and coming to outside my neighbours front door with a hammer, quite freaked me out. my friends also say its not normal to think that people can hear my thoughts but again this could be my paranoia, i dont believe them. i've always been paranoid and know people are laughing at me and talking about me behind my back. it all sounds ridiculus but my frined insists i seek help, if to just clear my chest.im also having trouble expressing myself outloud and emotionally, i've always been a cryer but it jus seems that i cant anymore, im just in a zoned out mood. i have to say my main concern is the 'delision' as it is making me very angry and it is frustrating me, i dont want to hurt anyone and i dont want anyone to hurt me. please tell me if im overreacting or overanalysing this situation, its just difficult to tell whats real and whats not. im scared about going to my GP incase he just laughs at me.:no:

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i have been suffering what my friends call 'delusions' the past few weeks. i suppose it would seem ludicris to them but to me it makes perfect sense, the fact that they tell me its not real and could never possibly be real just makes me think they know its true and just want to confuse me. its getting bad now, im very hostile when people say its not true and try and come up with rational reasons behind my thinking but they say its not true. also when i was younger i used to hear voices occassionally and they seem to be rearing their heads again, im not quite clear on what their saying to me yet, but last time it resulted in me 'zoning out' and coming to outside my neighbours front door with a hammer, quite freaked me out. my friends also say its not normal to think that people can hear my thoughts but again this could be my paranoia, i dont believe them. i've always been paranoid and know people are laughing at me and talking about me behind my back. it all sounds ridiculus but my frined insists i seek help, if to just clear my chest.im also having trouble expressing myself outloud and emotionally, i've always been a cryer but it jus seems that i cant anymore, im just in a zoned out mood. i have to say my main concern is the 'delision' as it is making me very angry and it is frustrating me, i dont want to hurt anyone and i dont want anyone to hurt me. please tell me if im overreacting or overanalysing this situation, its just difficult to tell whats real and whats not. im scared about going to my GP incase he just laughs at me.:no:

    Your GP won't laugh at you, if something is a concern for you then they will treat it with respect. They will either alay your concerns, or most likely they will refer you to see a specialist who can assess you.

    There is enough in what you have said to suggest that you need to see a doctor sooner rather than later. Don't feel ashamed, you are not a freak at all. You might well have some psychological or psychiatric issues that are beyond your control.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hello and welcome to TheSite :wave:

    super147 is right, your GP is there to help you not to laugh at you. It sounds like you're going through a pretty scary time at the moment and they will be able to help you figure out the best way to get the support that you need.

    There's some info on TheSite about the kind of delusions you've talked about, might be worth a read to see if the symptoms sound familiar? There are lots of other helpful links to more information from there too. Here's the link.

    Is there someone you could get to go with you to the doctor? A bit of moral support might help, they could even come in with you if you wanted them to?

    It doesn't sound like you are overreacting or over analysing things, it just sounds like everything is getting quite confusing for you right now. Keep posting if you find it helps to offload and let us know how you're getting on :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i just read the article and it sounds very familiar but then theres this hole thing of self diagnosis like. i dont even know where to start at the doctors, i dont want to just blurt it out like i usually do, how exactly would i go about mentioning it?? it seems the bursts of random crying that i rarely have get in my way when speaking about what im thinking etc:banghead:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i just read the article and it sounds very familiar but then theres this hole thing of self diagnosis like. i dont even know where to start at the doctors, i dont want to just blurt it out like i usually do, how exactly would i go about mentioning it?? it seems the bursts of random crying that i rarely have get in my way when speaking about what im thinking etc:banghead:

    If that DID happen I could assure you that you wouldn't be the first that it has happened to. These are deeply emotional and personal issues.

    A good idea would be to write down the points that you wish to discuss on a piece of paper before your appointment, like the morning or night before. Then take that with you to prompt you. Tell your doctor that you have done so, and explain that you wanted to make sure that you covered all of your concerns and didn't get jumbled up.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i suppose,guess im just putting it off, going to the doctors is scary enough, but this is pretty scary. i just want the thoughts and all to stop. its like the main person i have these thoughts about is a housemate who im also in uni with and work with, i just cant trust her, its like shes out to hurt me in anyway she can, emotionally or physically. i cant stop thinking like this!! we used to be really good friends and then we drifted and im paranoid her and my other housemate are just sitting plotting how to hurt me, i swear i hear them sometimes to, that leads to not sleeping then incase something happens.:nervous:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    HI,

    I know how you are feeling, i had this issue a few weeks ago, and i was offered some medication and now my thoughts are all good again and i'm no longer paranoid, it feels so good!

    I second the recommendation to goto the docs and tell them that you are feeling exessivly paranoid and you don't like feeling like this, and the doc will probably ask you a few more questions, about the voices and things, but just be as honest as you can and the docs will help you think straight again :)

    let us know how you get on *hugs*
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well its nice to know im not the only one. but i dont think im being paranoid anymore, thesite suggested talking to one of my friends, the one who told me to get help, do you think it would help? i dont really want to bombard them with my shit though, it would just feel like they dont really want to listen and just felt obligated to though :S plus theres the whole if i tell them what im really thinking they'll get freaked out and treat me differently and maybe avoid me, i have little friends as it is :(
    im thinking about the doctors and i might make an appointment when i've moved, been a very stressful time lately, maybe that has something to do with the onset?! its just i know my head really isnt in a good place atm, i've tried ignoring it n it keeps building up but i feel that if ignore it long enough it might go away?! ahhhhhhhh!!:banghead:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The doctors can seem daunting and there's always reasons to not go, but really you've got nothing to lose. The likelihood is that they will be able to help you through this difficult time and the stress you mentioned could well be part of the onset. You don't have to go through it alone and you won't be the only one they've seen with these kind of feelings.

    If you're not sure you can talk to a friend remember you don't have to tell them everything, tell them what you feel comfortable telling them, let them know you're thinking about making a doctor's appointment but you're nervous about it. If they're a good friend they will want to support you the best they can.

    You might also want to consider calling a helpline too. Something like Supportline, or Samaritans .They are trained to listen and sometimes talking to strangers can be easier than talking to friends. It's about finding what works for you :)

    Take good care of yourself *hug*
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanks

    hey all,just wanna say thanks for ur support. i finally made a doctors appointment which was pretty hard, my boss took me for a talk and told me 2 get help n obviously got my mother involved in the situation. i had a talk with a pyschiatrist and came pretty close to being hospitalised but they decided to try home treatment a go forst, so fingers crossed the medication and counselling works :yippe:
    Thanks for your support:d
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    That's nice that you came back to say thanks.

    Hope things start going better for you :)
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