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Depression self harm suicidal thoughts *triggering*

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hello all,
I am glad you are reading my post, although I'm afraid it's quiet a lame post, when of cource you come to think of it.

I've been having suicidal thoughts for a few years now, I do not like having suicidal thoughts, because ones father finds it wierd.

I wish my thoughts of suicide would go away. I started to self harm since one got beat up constantly after school and one gets abused by ones parents. I though the whole world hated me like I was useless and pathetic and good at nothing so I kept cutting my sef to get my emotions out I feel as though there are no other options besides cutting my self.
I draw with my own blood on a piece of paper all my feelings and the coluor black. To get all my emotians out.

I have so many thoughts of suicide and death and feel like killing my self I have even attempted to kill my self before, I tryed to strangle my self once or suficate my self with a plastic bag tied round my head unfortuatly non of those had worked and I'm still fukin alive.

My mother saidd she wishes I was dead, so does my sister they say so many things to me such as why are you stilll alive and everything.

I hate my life I feel unwanted by everyone, I feel lonely, lost and confused as well.

I just do not know what to do with my life.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Can anyone give me any advice on what to do with my life.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    are you in contact with any health professionals about your problem? i strongly recommend talking to somebody like a doctor or councillor xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    skakitty wrote: »
    are you in contact with any health professionals about your problem? i strongly recommend talking to somebody like a doctor or councillor xx

    I talk to a counceller on a regular basis but I don't talk about my problems to her for some reason because she comes in to my school, I have a social worker who could also help me but I've kind of got a fear of adults :(.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I have aI've kind of got a fear of adults :(.

    why is that?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    omg hi wrote: »
    why is that?
    I don't know I'm just scared, from past experiance.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    have you ever had a good relationship with an adult? not all adults will hurt you - there are many that just want to help, including your social worker and counsellor. but they can't help you properly if you don't tell them everything.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know, I'm such a wierdo, I wish life would ed for me hear. I'm such a chicken, I can't even talk to adults. I don't know how to face my fear of adults, I know some adults are there to help, but most adults make me cut my self more and more, I try drawing my emotion they tend to be pictures in black and the blood from my cuts, I wish I could stop cutting my self. My pictures our of me dead or burning in hell.
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