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A question......
Starry night
Posts: 674 Incredible Poster
Hi,
Recently, I split away from all my friends and distanced myself. I did this because i always felt bad around them. When i was out with them i would come back and instead of feeling happy, but exhausted from the big day out....I just felt tired and exhausted, like i hadn't enjoyed myself. All they would ever do is spread other people's miseries like muck and constantly talk about other people.
I don't know what is wrong with me. Is it wrong and weird that i am like this? All my mother and grandmother are doing is constantly telling me that it is not healthy....:crying: Am i weird? Is being a loner going to make me live a much more difficult life? :crying:
Recently, I split away from all my friends and distanced myself. I did this because i always felt bad around them. When i was out with them i would come back and instead of feeling happy, but exhausted from the big day out....I just felt tired and exhausted, like i hadn't enjoyed myself. All they would ever do is spread other people's miseries like muck and constantly talk about other people.
I don't know what is wrong with me. Is it wrong and weird that i am like this? All my mother and grandmother are doing is constantly telling me that it is not healthy....:crying: Am i weird? Is being a loner going to make me live a much more difficult life? :crying:
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Comments
It sounds like you've made a brave decision to distance yourself from people who you felt unhappy around. When people behave as you've described:
It can be difficult to tolerate and actually, there isn't really any reason why you should have to accept it. TheSite.org's article on dumping mates explains how getting rid doesn't have to be a really negative thing, but can actually give you more time to think about what you'd really like from friendship and move on to better things.
However, this doesn't necessarily mean that there aren't people out there who could become good friends who perhaps share similar interests and views to yourself - in other words, you don't have to resign yourself to being a loner just yet
What's your situation at the moment, are you at school/college?
*hug* it's actually not as uncommon a situation to be in at school as you might think and actually even the people who seem like they're best mates at school don't always stay in touch for very long after they leave.
Also, spending time on your own doing the things you enjoy doesn't have to be a bad thing, it's only when the balance tips towards feeling lonely that it's good to be pro-active about meeting new people.
Do you have any interests outside academia? Sometimes the best friends we make are those who have more common interests than just being in the same classroom together. You've mentioned you really like reading, is there a local book club you could join for instance? Or perhaps there's some events at the library or at literature festivals you could get involved in.
Another option could be to think about volunteering - is this something you've tried or thought about before?
Fab :d
Check out our sister website Do-it.org.uk - it's great, like a job site for volunteering, you can put in your postcode and area of interest and it will bring up opportunities local to you and you can register your interest with the organisation through it and then they should get back to you with more details. Randomgirl on here and a few other people have found some really good stuff on it.