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Am I being unreasonable?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I work for a very large organisation. A colleague who I work closely alongside is leaving next month as she has secured employment overseas. Naturally I decided to coordinate a departmental collection for those wanting to contribute towards a leaving gift for her (there are approx 25 in our department).

She has worked for this organisation for 25 years and whilst she will still be employed within the same organisation, she will be working abroad so will no longer be in the area that she has worked all those years. Her best friend (an ex-colleague who still works for the organisation but in a totally seperate department) contacted me about organising a huge collection so that anybody who has worked alongside her can contribute towards her leaving gift (at least 50+ people in addition to the 25 mentioned above). She was under the impression that I would be doing this however I feel that as a department it would be nicer to give her our own gift and then if there are others they can between themselves sort something out or if they are that close to her perhaps buy her something themselves (bearing in mind that, for e.g., when she left 'unit a', they will have done a leaving gift for her and the same when she left 'unit b' etc), now she is leaving our department it is our turn to do the same. Yes she is going overseas however I have no idea who most of her ex-colleagues are and would find it difficult to organise bearing in mind she has worked in lots of places and they are not all in the same building or anything. I suggested that her best friend do it if she felt so strongly as she is not only her best friend but knows more about the places and people she has worked with before. She was really displeased and made me feel terrible for not wanting to take it on. She said she feels there should just be one collection from eveyone. She has agreed to coordinate a seperate collection from mine but not without arguing it out first.

I have spoken to some colleagues who said if I were to organise a huge collection they would want their money back as they feel the gift would be less personal coming from eveyone and they would only like to contribute if it was from the department. As a department we would like to give her the gift at our weekly departmental meeting. I agree with this and think her friend is being completely over the top. I know how I would feel if someone approached me about an ex-colleague going overseas and asking for a contribution to a gift, I would not want to as I would have already contributed when they left my department, unless of course I had stayed in contact and was close to them in which case back to my original point I would get them something myself or would expect it to be organised within the group of those in the know about her past work experience etc.

Any thoughts on whether I'm doing the right thing would be gratefully received!


  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    DO it within your department and fuck the rest.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yep organise it for your department, if people from elsewhere want to contribute they can organise their own. If anything it would get very complicated trying to organise a huge collection. Just say you only have time to organise one within your own department and let the others sort themselves out.
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