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Leaving behind College friends

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
I only have a few weeks left at college now :yippe:
Some of you might know that i am transgender and on leaving college the plan is to start a new life, i have been a bit of a loner and never really built any strong friendships i always intended to just say my goodbyes and move on.
However i may not be as tough as i thought because the more i think about it the more i realise there are a few people there (4 girls and 1 boy) that i really do care about and its not going to be that easy to forget them.
I am not sure wether its worth the risk of rejection by trying to explain my future plans or if it would be better to just move on.
I am sure many people lose touch with their friends but as i dont really have any others maybe i am just trying to cling on to what i have, perhaps its even selfish of me to involve them i have already hurt a few people after all.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's not selfish of you to want to keep your friends and involve them in your future plans!

    I think you have nothing to lose.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    katralla wrote: »
    I think you have nothing to lose.

    :yes:

    If you move on without your friends, you will be losing them. But if you explain to them whats happening, the worst that will happen is that you'll lose them... but probably/hopefully they'll understand and be of support in your future :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I really understand how you feel, because I am also about to graduate from university, and I have many friends here that I will probably not see regularly again.

    I think that friends are important, and if you really care about them, then there is nothing selfish about trying to keep them in your life. I am sure that if they are your friends, then they will not want to lose you either. Talking to them and trying to involve them in your future is the best way to keep in contact. :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think you should tell them, and that way, if some (hopefully all!) support you, you have some friends moving on from college. If not, you can go forward in life and make new friends :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I guess you are all right, i never really thought about it like that, i think i have become paranoid about upsetting people.
    I have composed an email for each of them explaining my feelings and plans and that i hope they will stay in touch and be my friends in my new life, but also that i totally understand if they feel unable to carry on and that they can at least understand if not accept.
    I won't be sending it until our exams are over though.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Louisek wrote: »
    I guess you are all right, i never really thought about it like that, i think i have become paranoid about upsetting people.
    I have composed an email for each of them explaining my feelings and plans and that i hope they will stay in touch and be my friends in my new life, but also that i totally understand if they feel unable to carry on and that they can at least understand if not accept.
    I won't be sending it until our exams are over though.
    Good. Try not to anticipate their reaction, just wait and see. And remember, these people won't be your all-in-all any more. School and college force friendships that might not be right for you in the long run.

    Life after college is terrifying, but can be great fun. The best thing I ever did was to find a group of people who could look past all of the stuff others gave me shit for and just wanted to spend time with me. In my case, in order to find my feet I had to get involved in a few LGBT groups but as soon as I'd done that I realised that most people will accept you whoever you are.

    Good luck, let us know how things go.
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