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Self harm

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I used to be a frequent self harmer, but I've stopped (for the most part) for almost a year (I think, my sense of time doesn't really exsist). But, I occasionally do 'it', and more often have the urge (more desire) to do so. For instance, tonight I've had the desire to cut myself; I went upstairs and collected my knife (all the time saying to myself I shouldn't), and now I'm sitting here with a knife in my pocket (I haven't used it yet, but I'm tempted).

Thing is, do you ever 'fully' recover from self harming?

Cheers,

Tom

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Heya Tom, welcome to thesite :wave:

    I think its great that you've managed to reduce the number of times you self-harm, so well done for that :) And actually... I think thats a helpful way of thinking about it. To think about reducing... moving away from self-harm instead of stopping completely.

    How have you coped with these urges before? Do you have any coping mechanisms in place that you use when you feel the need? Also (sorry for all the questions) but are you getting any help for the feelings behind it all?

    Can you talk to anyone tonight about how you're feeling right now? Maybe talking to someone would serve as a distraction, and you could put the knife away. Or... I realise that sometimes just having it nearby can be of comfort, so do what you feel is best.

    About recovering... I think it really depends. I'll answer in terms of me... I don't believe I'm 100% "over" self-harm. I don't know what the future holds, and if times got really tough I don't know how I'd cope. But I would like to think I have enough coping mechanims in place and enough support from people around me to get through whatever it was without resorting back to self-injury.

    For now, I can count on one hand the number of times I've hurt myself in the last 3 or so years, and can't even remember when I last did it. The main thing is, that I've realised that there are other ways to deal with my feelings, and that hurting myself is not the answer. It may help in the short term, but after that it makes everything so much harder to deal with, and so for me I now know that its not the answer, and most of the time I can stop it even being an option. Sure, I still think about it... and thats why I'd say I'm not 100% over it, but I'm confident enough to say that its not a problem for me anymore.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Heya Tom, welcome to thesite :wave:

    I think its great that you've managed to reduce the number of times you self-harm, so well done for that :) And actually... I think thats a helpful way of thinking about it. To think about reducing... moving away from self-harm instead of stopping completely.

    How have you coped with these urges before? Do you have any coping mechanisms in place that you use when you feel the need? Also (sorry for all the questions) but are you getting any help for the feelings behind it all?

    Can you talk to anyone tonight about how you're feeling right now? Maybe talking to someone would serve as a distraction, and you could put the knife away. Or... I realise that sometimes just having it nearby can be of comfort, so do what you feel is best.

    About recovering... I think it really depends. I'll answer in terms of me... I don't believe I'm 100% "over" self-harm. I don't know what the future holds, and if times got really tough I don't know how I'd cope. But I would like to think I have enough coping mechanims in place and enough support from people around me to get through whatever it was without resorting back to self-injury.

    For now, I can count on one hand the number of times I've hurt myself in the last 3 or so years, and can't even remember when I last did it. The main thing is, that I've realised that there are other ways to deal with my feelings, and that hurting myself is not the answer. It may help in the short term, but after that it makes everything so much harder to deal with, and so for me I now know that its not the answer, and most of the time I can stop it even being an option. Sure, I still think about it... and thats why I'd say I'm not 100% over it, but I'm confident enough to say that its not a problem for me anymore.

    Thanks PurpleStarFish for your reply, I'll answer your questions in order :p

    The coping mechanisms I've used before (and now) have pretty much been just my willpower; I tried the elastic bands on my wrist, using pens to mark my skin instead of cutting, and other distraction methods, but none seem to work. I'm not getting any help for self harming, I did try counselling before, but it didn't do much, so I stopped.

    I don't have anyone to 'talk to' about this; there are very few people that know about my self harming, and that's the way I'd like to keep it. If my self harming got out I fear it'll interfere with my job and my volunteer work!

    Thanks,

    Tom
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hey,

    I dont think you do ever get over self harm..i used to self harm but then i meet my boyfriend and i stopped but it is still there in my life..for instance i have a cat and he some times scraches my hand and i like the feel and it makes me wanna hurt myself.

    asking some to not have any urges to self harm when they used too is like asking a drug addict or an alcoholic not to have any urgies to go back and do it again. self harm is the same an addicition as well as a coping mechanism.

    hope this helps
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Tom,

    You've already been given some great advice on your thread. Just wanted to add that you may find Thesite information pages on 'dealing with urges' and 'Distraction tips' useful to look through. The whole self-harm section is really current and could be good to browse through - maybe that task in itself could be a distraction?

    Seems like counselling hasn't worked out for you in the past. There are other treatments out there, have you considered any of them? Also, if you feel that talking could help you, you could call a helpline such as the Samaritans - 08547 90 90 90. They can talk to you annonymously and confidentailly?

    Take care and keep posting :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It depends upon your will power, I suppouse.

    The best someone can do is seek the help they are in need of. Once they seek that help, the can begin to recover, but the temptation will always be there. It is the same with anything, really. The temptation will always be there. The hard part is fighting it.

    Or there might be a possibility of full recovery. Depends on the person, I assume.
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