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Boy issues...

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
ok so my boyfriend is so madly in love with me, i have no idea why im not anything special he believes i've cheated and everything and now he wants to marry me lol
thing is i cant leave this relationship cause whenever i try to leave he threatens me andmy family and says how he left his mates (including his best mate) for me cause he chose me over them, if though i never asked him to they just didnt like me and he chose me
& now he goes on bout how if i left him he would be alone and kill himself and stuff and all my fault & that he would probably kill me aswell
& i dont know how to make HIM want to leave me
i do everything, im moody all the time, cant cook, dont clean or anything & he has to do everything for me basicaly but he still loves me & hes always like you dont love me & i always say i do cause im scared he will hit me or something if i tell the truth ahhhh

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    oh dear, he sounds really controlling. What a horrible situation
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ok, in case you are not aware of that, YOU HAVE to get out of this, even if you, or I, can't figure out yet how. But a person who threatens to kill himself, or even you when you leave him/her is profoundly insane.

    There is no way you should be in a relationship or marriage with such an unstable person. I think he just wants to "chain you down" with the marriage. He just doesn't want to be alone and idolizes you as the person who helps him over this. I am not really sure if he really loves you that much. Have you talked to your parents about it?

    I know it might be stupid to take the risk and just leave him straight away, even tho I think his words and threats are just empty, but you can never know for sure.

    A friend of mine was in a very similar situation and the remaining months of the relationship were pure hell. He was constantly sick, hooked on strong medication, but finally he dumped her, and she didn't kill herself as threatened.

    There is no way around it, and since you can't sugarcoat a break-up I would talk things through with your parents and leave him, without much discussion. If he starts to get really weird or stalkerish, inform the police.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeh, this guy sounds like he has some serious issues, threatening to kill himself AND you if you leave him? eek.

    I would get away from him. now.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    He's not necessarily insane as StrubblesS suggests. But he is definitely controlling to the extreme; threatening self harm or suicide is often a way insecure and controlling people use to force their partner to stay in a relationship with them. It's normally empty words.

    You most certainly need to try and break up with him sooner rather than later, and I know that won't be easy for you. Have you got any people who you trust (good friends/family members) who you could go for for support and advice?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Peter91 wrote: »
    He's not necessarily insane as StrubblesS suggests. But he is definitely controlling to the extreme; threatening self harm or suicide is often a way insecure and controlling people use to force their partner to stay in a relationship with them. It's normally empty words.

    If you threaten to kill someone you love, you have - in my opinion - a grave psychological detriment and you are not just "controlling".
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