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wish i was someone else

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
sorry for the anger guys.

:crying: aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
i hate being the quiet one at college, i wish i was loud and actually stood out with my opinions. whos gonna want a shy person like me in one of their shows :( knowone is gonna take me on their agent books and give me a job because i just go all shy whenever i talk to people i dont know. i wish i could be born again as a loud confident person.......i have obviously chosen the wrong career to be in and i should just have got an office job just like my dad said:banghead: why does he always have to be right all the time. bringing me down when i needed support. and now my mum has broken her arm and is struggling to pay the bills with sick pay being so rubbish :( im worried about her and my dad being an idiot and not helping me out with anything because of his stupid girlfriend that he spends all his time with. He doesnt care about me or my sister and probably wishes i wasnt even born :mad: and wots the point of not self harming when these scars don't seem to be healing anyway :crying: im a mess again, soooooo close to just running away and giving up.
x

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Anna, first of all its ok to be angry so don't be sorry, and i can 100% assure you that you are not alone in wanting to be someone else now and again.
    If you have a talent then you are right to pursue your ambitions the fact that you care so much and feel frustrated shows you have passion, i often hear stories of the most famous people being very shy and reserved in their everyday lifes, isnt part of the thrill when you get on stage that you can be that loud confident person and it all feels right.
    Maybe you should talk to your tutors about your concerns i bet you are not the first person who has had these feelings.
    You should try not to worry about your parents im sure they would be upset if they knew you were.
    Things might be hard for your mum right now but she is an adult has probably got through harder times in the past.
    You need to concentrate on yourself and keep your own thoughts positive and keep your life on track.
    Do not resort to self harming again please, you have done so well lately and im sure the scars are and will continue to heal, its probably just because you see them every day you dont notice the change.
    Stay focused and keep going because you have a life infront of you doing something that you love in that way you are luckier than most.
    Take care xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Heyy,
    I take it you are a drama student? http://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident there is some good tips here, and maybe you could speak to a teacher about your confidence issues? I'm sure they'll be willing to help you. And, if it is what you want to do career wise, then go for it :D Don't do a job that you don't enjoy! You deserve to be happy in life.

    Are you in counselling or anything? Or is there a counsellor at college you could speak to? Because it's worth a go if you aren't getting help already.

    As for self harming, the scars are there to remind you what you've come through and how well you've done :) Every time you see them, just think that you've beaten that, you've got through it. That is an amazing thing, and you should be proud.
    Xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Anna, IMHO i don't think you can do much better than to listen to B A, and consider her advice x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Louisek wrote: »
    Anna, IMHO i don't think you can do much better than to listen to B A, and consider her advice x

    Why, thank you Louise :blush: and Anna, how are you now?
    Xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ya b a is soo helpful on here so listen to B A and what anyone else advices you but b a especialy

    there is nothing wrong with being shy because if you were noisy then people would complain. i get complained at all the time. i wish i was shy and quiet and ya read that article what B A has posted.

    also you must never self harm has the scars not going is a sign that you will end up in hospital from serious damage and even worst it could kill you if you loose to much blood.

    btw B A is short for Broken Angel

    good luck:)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    sorry guys for not replying sooner. Just had a few things to do.

    Thankyou for all your advise:)

    and yes B A your words are very wise. I do go to councelling already and am slowly trying to stop having to go and see a councellor, soon I will have graduated from college and have to start auditioning for shows in London etc. This scares me alot....it's not that i am not capable of achieving my dream, its the confidence and the insecurities of life.

    Having no money for train fayre etc aswell doesnt help :(


    xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    re

    Hey *Anna*,

    Sorry to hear your feeling low at the moment. And indeed good advice from Broken Angel and LouiseK too. Its difficult for a child to see their parent in distress and this is obviously adding to your stress.

    How is your counselling actually going?Are you finding it helpful with your confidence issues? Try to remember you are not born with confidence, it is something that is developed and nurtured over time and if youve had knocks from others who doubt your ability to achieve it makes it all the more difficult to overcome.It would be great if there were a magic formula to give you instant confidence but unfortunatly its the longer route but nonetheless an achieveable one. Perhaps a chat with your tutor would be a good start or a search on the net of people who have overcome confidence issues and succeeded, just a thought but it may inspire you!:)


    Keep posting and letting us know how your doing:wave:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thankyou Garfield.

    yes i will research some people on the internet for help with confidence. and coucelling has helped me stop self harming and i have to say that I am so much better than I was 6 months ago and i dont want to get back into that state again.

    I would talk to my tutors but they are so scarey as they are all in the performing business themselves and have too much going on. its really tough because i am cuming to the end of my 3 year course and only have two months left before i have to start auditioning for shows.....what if i cant cope with it and havent chosen the right career?? i know it takes time to find out whats going to happen in life, i just dont want to mess it up thats all.

    thankyou again for taking the time to talk to me :)

    xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    re

    Hey *Anna*,

    The site is always here whenever you need and thanks for sharing whats going on at the mo.:)

    The performing arts business sounds tough! Especially when you're having a tough time of it at the moment, it sounds like for the minute somethings got to give-the most important element in all of this is you, there will always be shows going on to audition for. One of the first steps with being confident is self belief and self care, perhaps some time out to look after yourself, carry on with the counselling and get yourself stable may help yourself deal with the rough and tumbles of the industry your getting into. All just a thought but investing some time in yourself could help you in the long term...Well done too for stabilising the self harming, what a great achievement!



    Take care:wave:
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