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And certainly, if I was in his situation I would want to know. I mean who wants to be that person who has been cheated on and people around them know but they do not; it's unfair on him to keep him in the dark like this.
Hopefully your relationship will survive, as you obviously wish it to do so, but if you tell him and it does not, then you will have at least appeased your conscience and let him make an informed decision. Is it right to let someone have a relationship when they do not truly know the actions of the other person? I mean, isn't a relationship meant to be founded on honesty if it is one you want to last. Right now he is having a relationship with someone whom he doesn't fully know for their actions. Which is fine for a short, passing fling. But for something more long term...well I would question the integrity.
Tell him, for your sake and his. The current situation is eating at you and unfair on him.
I tried to keep that fairly neutral. My personal opinion on this subject is that it is completely unfair on someone to have been cheated on, then not told while the relationship continues. Especially if others know.
He said if I actually kissed him back, he would probably end this relationship.
I'm not a cheat. I was blind drunk, this lad was forcing himself upon me. The intention to cheat wasn't there. I love my boyfriend.
So should I just tell him everything? That will make me look like a liar though. I just don't want to ruin what we have. It was a mistake and therefore not meant to happen; therefore can't I just pretend it never happened?
...You weren't that drunk if you can still remember what happened.
Xx
lol obviously talking out of experience.
I can remember some things from this weekend actually! So
Xx
Lol sort it out. You said you kissed him back?
Therefore you are a cheat.
Deal with it. Tell him. Let him leave you!
Learn your mistakes.
Sorry to break it to you but you are a liar and just cause you now regret it doesnt mean it didnt happen! but you are right you can just pretend it didnt happen but if I was your bf I would dump you if I found out,the kissing I could probable put down to a stupid drunking mistake but the lying I wouldnt be able to accept.
Your the 1 who has to live with your choices so only you can tell what is best for yourself! good luck whateva you do!
Don't be silly. You can still remember what happened if you were drunk.
I don't want to tell him
The choice is entirely up to you
That's called guilt.
Have you entertained the possibility that if you decide not to tell him (which, by the way I think is wrong and very deceitful but hey ho), that he might find out from someone else?
Basically, you've made your bed and now you have to lie in it. You have to tell him the truth and not some bullshit version of it.
However, not everyone will take it as well as he did and it's been quite a long time to not have told him, so like I said, it's your decision.
One quick word of warning based on my own experience. Does your boyfriend or any or your friends for that matter know about thesite and/or know your username? I only say this because I once had the misfortune to discover via thesite that my then boyfriend had cheated on me with his ex whilst I was with him (all 3 of us were members.) As you can imagine, I was pretty pissed off that I found out in that way.
Not with the tolerance level of niamh. Two shandys and there go the molesting calls, involuntary swimming with clothing and shaved eyebrows.
:yeees: I drank 3 cans of cider, some vodka, a bottle of reloaded and then some other random drinks. So
And lyric, if you were totally shit faced like you say then you can't remember.
Xx
The intention wasn't there so I'm going to stick to the story that the other lad kissed me. Which he did. I refused but in the end, I kissed back so he would leave me alone and because I was drunk, and I really regretted it.
What do you mean quite a long time to not have told him?
And no, they don't. And they wouldn't have a clue this is me.
I can remember some things! Of course I can! I was drunk but I wasn't completely gone.
Which, I'm sorry to say, makes you a liar.
Well, unless I misread this, I was under the impression that this happened in January and it's now May...
No, I didn't misread. Just in my experience, it tends to be a hell of a lot worse finding out if it's been quite a long time since it happening and it coming out in the open. Pretty much feels like that period of your relationship has been pretend. I say this as someone who has been in both positions.
no dont tell him if you love him and wanna be with him dont say no ones perfect we all make mistakes if you tell him he wont trush you and if you go for a night out with your friends he will think you have went with someone
Well the way i see it is you feel guilty what you have done even though previously you said it wasnt cheating per se, just a blind drunken mistake.
Still..he should know what has happened, it could end your relationship. Think of it this way, what if he found out another way instead of from you..
That makes me sad when you say 'pretend' but I know what you mean
Theres a danger of me sounding like an old "koot" at 17, but what?
On geneves belhalf that was probally abit harsh, but then again, i've only read a tad of the thread!
Yea, I guessed that as well, since Xtfu is usually ....the fuck up.
Since geneve is a really cynical, old fashioned, masculinist person I would really love to see a photo of her, just to compare.