Finding love after love lost?

Former Member

After a three year relationship, with this girl. Whom i loved very much, we had plans for getting a flat together, moving in. Kids the whole kinda dream. And i did something i regret, and she left me about a month ago. It was a real harsh split up though, loads of nasty stuff from her side, which has made me feel worse.

Haven't really spoken, i've tried to get back with her and make things better, i did everything i could. But i don't think it's going to work, well it hasn't. After time goes on well, less and less chance

I've been in one or two relationships since, but none of them feel right. Just like wasting time with someone who i don't really feel for.
After loosing my girlfriend, i feel really disconnected with this world. Like nothing is real anymore. I'm just numb all over and don't really feel anything.

Even drugs don't work, weed, meow, coke... All used to blow me away. and make me forget, but not anymore. Nothing takes my mind away from the pain.

Everyday i feel a day closer to suicide, and i just can't move on I know it's been so soon, but it's getting worse not better, and everyone said it gets better

Former Member

It's just hard to see anything in the future anymore... jsut feels like i've lost everything Thanks for the advice, i'll keep it in mind

Former Member

They alway say it better to of loved then not to love at all.

pain is part of the process of breaking up. Break ups are horrible. But in time the pain will leave. There is so much to live for such as family and friends. You have to get up and stop wallowing and go out and enjoy the good things in life. surround yourself with your friends until you feel better
x

Former Member

After a three year relatioinship you really need to give yourself more time. In some ways it is like greiving, not only have you lost the closeness with this person but also the plans you've had for the future. Give yourself time to adjust but do keep hold of the idea that your life will go on. Some people like to think that there are no mistakes or bad decisions, only pathways. And, you never know where this pathway may lead you, hopefully, in time, it will lead to something good.

Former Member

The problem is trying to seek a replacement for your lost love. It hardly ever works frankly.

Best thing is to fall back on the usual post-relationship cliches - ring up a few friends, take up a new hobby or do something you used to enjoy but found you had little time for once you got into your relationship, that sort of thing for the time being, just keep yourself occupied - from my experience it's like taking a nice long walk away from the past mentally.

It's going to take time to be able to move on, but there's never a quick-fix easy way out of the pain of a break-up.

Best of luck.

**helen**

katralla wrote: »

After a three year relatioinship you really need to give yourself more time. In some ways it is like greiving, not only have you lost the closeness with this person but also the plans you've had for the future. Give yourself time to adjust but do keep hold of the idea that your life will go on. Some people like to think that there are no mistakes or bad decisions, only pathways. And, you never know where this pathway may lead you, hopefully, in time, it will lead to something good.

:yes: it really is physically painful - try not to be too hard on yourself because it's one of the most emotionally difficult situations to come to terms with. Yet, people do it all the time and no matter what you feel like right now, you're not an exception.

TheSite.org has some great articles on break-ups that you may find useful.

Mending a broken heart - http://www.thesite.org/sexandrelationships/singles/singlelife/mendingabrokenheart

Accepting its over - http://www.thesite.org/sexandrelationships/singles/singlelife/acceptingitsover

If the suicidal feelings become overwhelming, then you may also want to consider talking to a counsellor about how you're feeling. As much as our friends can be a great support, sometimes they may just want us to go out and get drunk and be over it before we're ready, so speaking to someone impartial can be a great comfort.

Keep posting.

Former Member

Thank you all for your help Advice is great... Just trying to remember it when i'm down isn't too easy.

Why does it hurt so much? I lived without them before, why can't i just do the same now... I wish there was a drug to stop this.

Former Member

Go easy on the cannabis, it really won't do your mental state any good. You can get over this without drugs, and when you do you will feel empowered.