Online dating - no success these days

Former Member

SO as i have mentioned in previous posts, i have had a few dates and relationships all from online dating, due to not knowing many people, having very friends etc... I was last in a relationship 20 months ago and been single since obviously.

I am just getting no attention, replies or contacts on some websites. I am on plentyoffish, okcupid, match (where you got to pay) and freedating. I have been told my profile is quite good though I have to work on getting more and better pictures - which i agree but my two pictures is not exactly terrible. I can send lots of emails ,women will view my profile but not go any further. My last reply to an email was 6 months ago! My emails are fairly short, slightly witty and to the point and i always ask something from what i read on their profile.

It also depresses me that guys I know and spoken from forums on here and other ones even have women contacting them first! I started using online dating when i was 18 and I have NEVER had one women contact me first, its crazy. Its now making mea little jealous because some guys are just having some replies and getting contacted first. My friend went on a date with someone the other day after he spoke to her for a few days and she lives local. ANother person showed me a screenshot of his email box of all the replies he is getting as in "username you have got a new message from thiswebsite".

What should i do, I used to have a little more success a few years ago. And i am struggling big time to meet women. My best friend does not seem to be interested in introducing me to neww people (as friends or potential dates) so it looks like im stuck with online dating for now. I am disappointed and a little sad I get zero attention at all now on dating websites. :crying:

Former Member

If you want to, why not post here whats on your profile and what pics you have so maybe we can help give you some advice on to improve it?

Former Member

Your main profile pic needs to look really really good. If you aren't Brad Pitt, you will need to make some effort over taking and choosing it. You could have the best written profile but if your picture is bad, not many people will actually read it. Might sound harsh but it's true.

Former Member

katralla wrote: »

Your main profile pic needs to look really really good. If you aren't Brad Pitt, you will need to make some effort over taking and choosing it. You could have the best written profile but if your picture is bad, not many people will actually read it. Might sound harsh but it's true.

I dont have many good pictures of me, due to lack of social life and also I always seem to come out very badly, im either not looking straight to the camera or i look like im very drunk/high which im not lol. My eyes dont seem to open wide

Former Member

I think the marketers are pushing this online dating thing more and more but there is a disproportinate number of guys to girls. So yeah, if you're not hot stuff, nothing doing. I think girls can get guys anywhere they go so why would they bother signing up for these sites. It makes them seem kinda desparate, I dunno.

Former Member

jamjam wrote: »

I dont have many good pictures of me, due to lack of social life and also I always seem to come out very badly, im either not looking straight to the camera or i look like im very drunk/high which im not lol. My eyes dont seem to open wide

Well, like I said, make an effort. Get a camera. Put some nice clothes on, do your hair, go somewhere nice -no one wants to look at you in a scruffy back garden with a clothes line behind your head. Put the camera on self timer if you have no one to help you, prop it up in a tree. Keep taking photos until you get a good one. Put that on your profile.

Make sure there is nothing bitter or defeatist sounding on your profile. I like Lexi's idea -post what you've written and we can tell you what we think.

Former Member

Online Dating

Here are what some of the big issues are regarding internet dating:

1. Like someone has already stated you need to be Brad Pitt in the looks department, Pictures and photos are everything.

An attractive women will only be attracted to a good looking male with good career ambition and a good career no matter what women will say. Also not every girl you meet is gonna think you are it....

2. Also it depends on what kind of woman you want to meet/attract, what kind of woman are you looking profile wise( career woman, single parents, stunning in the looks department, model material) ??

I was on smooch and let me tell you, the kind of women on there are single mums with about 3-4 kids, overweight women, not very career focused, and the golden oldies in there 40's. Not your ideal place to meet young career minded women.

3. A lot of these dating sites(especially the paid ones) send out automated requests from apparent members, but then turn out to be administrators creating ghost profiles to get and lure in more members and keep you interested.

Another thing they do is to hire models for profiles and send out winks and kisses etc etc to get you to buy a subscription. Someone of them also have automatic billing as well. Prices are starting to go up as well, just take a look at Match and Datingdirect affinity.

4. Internet dating is driven by media and talk, its not as big as people make out, yes there are lots of dating sites out there but there is a difference between someone creating a free profile and someone then buying a subscription to actually use it.

Its basically misleading marketing, how many people would sign up if they knew in the first place that you have to pay to send messages to each other.

5. Some people only join up to dating sites to boost there own popularity because of jealous and insecurities.

Unfortunately its true.....thats how bad some people's self confidence has become.

6. Get out there and meet some real women, try speed dating, networking, volunteering, outside work clubs. etc etc. Don't just rely on your friends to introduce you to people, cos you could find yourself being left behind...

Don't let your social life suffer, keep online dating, you say you have had some success, but don't let your self get to hung up on it if you don't succeed. You'll end up being left behind otherwise while your mates are out enjoying themselves.

Regards.