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Former Member

i feel like crap ive being diagnosed with deppresion and scitzoaphetive disorder and have being suicidal (sorry i cant spell right now) last year have being in a pschiatric hospital twice one for 5 months another for 11 months.
im feeling down again for the past two weeks but i havent told anyone of being in fear of going back to hospital i ve not starting cutting again but feel like im going two im not seeing anyone untill friday its my cpa and after that i may be seeing my pscotheripist.

two weeks ago i saw my drama teacher and thats a long story but i'll brief it. i was in love with her and i still am. i saw her in a supermarket she saw me walked straight up to me, smiled and just as she came near me i ran away and i dont know why i did that i cant stop thinking about her i was badley obsessed with her when i was in high school i left half way through after having a break down my brother still goes to that school and sees her every day and i feel so jealous i keep replaying it all in my head trying to figure out why i ran away.

i dont know what to do anymore i burst out crying anywhere i cant sleep and im not eating barely anything somedays not at all.
if anyone has any advice or thoughts please reply anything can help me right now

Former Member

Hey av's :wave:

Sorry you're having a rough time, I know you said you haven't told anyone how you're feeling but I'd really urge you to tell someone, the only way people can help is if you're honest about what's going on. What kind of support have you been getting?

What kind of things do you enjoy? Drawing, writing or even having a rant on here are all good ways to let it out little.Have you had a look at the site's self harm info there's advice on coping tips and distractions.

I hope this helps and keep posting the site's always here,

dp

Former Member

don't kill yourself i have millians of disorders and after a few months you learn to deal with them and then you start to feel normal again

who you are is who you are and you've got to live with it and cutting yourself isn't the right way to go

i've got so many disorders that i can just about cope with living but after a few months i was alright

please don't cut yourself you will cause serious damage and put yourself back in hospital

Former Member

the support ive being getting is EIS, pscotherapy and i see my mental health doctor regulary and ive being referd to 42nd street.

i feel even worse now.

i cant stop thinking about her ive being trying dollypop's suggestions because i do draw and write and i enjoyed doing it it ook my mind off things for about an hour and now there back again.

EVEN WORSE my brother has just told me that hes got her for a lesson tomorow i dont know what to do.

Former Member

av's wrote: »

i feel like crap ive being diagnosed with deppresion and scitzoaphetive disorder and have being suicidal (sorry i cant spell right now) last year have being in a pschiatric hospital twice one for 5 months another for 11 months.
im feeling down again for the past two weeks but i havent told anyone of being in fear of going back to hospital i ve not starting cutting again but feel like im going two im not seeing anyone untill friday its my cpa and after that i may be seeing my pscotheripist.

two weeks ago i saw my drama teacher and thats a long story but i'll brief it. i was in love with her and i still am. i saw her in a supermarket she saw me walked straight up to me, smiled and just as she came near me i ran away and i dont know why i did that i cant stop thinking about her i was badley obsessed with her when i was in high school i left half way through after having a break down my brother still goes to that school and sees her every day and i feel so jealous i keep replaying it all in my head trying to figure out why i ran away.

i dont know what to do anymore i burst out crying anywhere i cant sleep and im not eating barely anything somedays not at all.
if anyone has any advice or thoughts please reply anything can help me right now

I'm really sorry to hear you've been feeling this way. I hope you start to feel better soon

Have you thought about what you want to get out of your CPA? Like what it is that you want to say? It sounds like you are really struggling at the moment.

I relate to what you say about being afraid to say how bad things have been for fear of being admitted to hospital but I think it's really important you try to be as honest and open as you can be with those involved in your care. I think it mostly comes down to safety and if they feel you are safe to be at home. Whatever it is that is making you feel awful will still be there if you do go into hospital but sometimes it is still the best place.

The pyschotherapy sounds like a positive step and it's really good that you haven't started cutting again

I really hope you are okay or as okay as you can be. Take care of yourself as best you can.

*hugs*