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What would you do if you friend....

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
What would you do if your friend was really down alot of the time but wouldn't tell you what was wrong? They dont talk to you or any of your friends, unless you ask them a question and they just shrugs, or gives a really breif answer in a really quiet voice.
Some days they're fine, seems chirpier but still seems quieter then usual..... They've told a teacher whats going on but thats it....

Would you be angry at them for being miserable all the time?
Would you talk to the teacher to try sort it out?
Would you try be there for them no matter how they're moods turns out?

What would you do....?
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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If someone really doesn't want to speak to you, you can't make them. Just let them know you will be there for them if/when they are ready to talk. Don't keep on about the subject, because it'll make them less likely to talk to you about whatever is going on.
    Xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    id let them get on with it if they didnt want to talk to me, but id make them aware that i was there to listen if they needed me
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    People are beginging to get fustrated and whenever they're feeling ok again they go "Well it's annoying when your in that mood" and that just makes things worse.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    bleepy wrote: »
    People are beginging to get fustrated and whenever they're feeling ok again they go "Well it's annoying when your in that mood" and that just makes things worse.

    I know it's upsetting when a friend seems to be keeping things back, but you must try and see it from her point of view. She has shared her problems with a teacher because she presumably thought the teacher was in the best position to help or advise. You must respect that decision. The fact that you and your other friends are beginning to get annoyed is really their problem, not hers. If the problem was something that the teacher thought was anything you could help with, I am sure they would have said something. As it is, it is a private matter and you need to let it go, rather than hold it against her. Hopefully, whatever it is will resolve itself and your friend will be back on form soon. Continue to be concerned by all means, but back off a little and keep it friendly. Your friend will appreciate it in the long run.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sounds like the classical mind crushing depression. Let him (not assuming it's a him, it just don't want to write him/her all the time) know you are there for him, because when worse really comes to worse and there is nobody there he might take matters into his own hands.

    It's then, when everyone in the aftermath says "oh my god, I knew he was a bit calm and didn't talk a lot but I could never imagine him committing suicide."
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    StrubbleS wrote: »
    Sounds like the classical mind crushing depression.

    But if it was, then wouldnt they be upset all the time? Cos I know at home they're ok... but thats so they're parents dont find out, and they're ok some days, recently this past few weeks they've been ok... just the odd day or two they're not 100% - :S
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    bleepy wrote: »
    But if it was, then wouldnt they be upset all the time? Cos I know at home they're ok... but thats so they're parents dont find out, and they're ok some days, recently this past few weeks they've been ok... just the odd day or two they're not 100% - :S

    well, what is "ok". Jumping around in joy and singing songs? Or just animated enough to make conversation etc.?

    Depression often has no immediate origin, something that directly links to the being depressed and most of the time people don't even recognize, often times the parents who want their kids to do good in school, and social life and just don't want it to be true.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    StrubbleS wrote: »
    well, what is "ok". Jumping around in joy and singing songs? Or just animated enough to make conversation etc.?

    Depression often has no immediate origin, something that directly links to the being depressed and most of the time people don't even recognize, often times the parents who want their kids to do good in school, and social life and just don't want it to be true.

    Well Ok is like... sometimes just perfectly normal, talking chirped up - but mostly the dont mean it.... Depends really... but I really don't think it's depression... 'cos you would know right?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    bleepy wrote: »
    Well Ok is like... sometimes just perfectly normal, talking chirped up - but mostly the dont mean it.... Depends really... but I really don't think it's depression... 'cos you would know right?

    no you wouldn't.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    bleepy wrote: »
    'cos you would know right?

    No.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    StrubbleS wrote: »
    no you wouldn't.
    Franki wrote: »
    No.

    It's not depression because they're fine some of the time, just some times they are low... just teenage hormones?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    To be honest... I am like that every day. It was suggested to me I have manic depression. But I was diagnosed with just plain ol' depression last year, or the year before.
    When I don't want to speak to someone... I don't want to speak to someone. I wont, and the more they say about my attitude the less likely I am to speak to them.
    Xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I agree with BA, it could be manic depression....but i did thought that when you had manic depression that you was ecstaticly happy one minute, and in tears the next, but I dont know much about it....

    It just sounds like this person could be having problems that are much more than the normal teenager hang-ups; boys/girls, friends and everything else in-between. When you said that they talked to a teacher about it, it does make me think it is something serious(ish), if a close friend of mine talked to a tutor about the problem and not me, alarm bells would be ringing abit as you dont exactly ask a teacher what should you do about a boy/girl that you fancy. To me, when you ask for a teacher for help its because they know people who can help, numbers you can ring for advice. Am I making sense? ;|

    And also, you and your friends saying "Well its annoying when your in that mood" really isnt helping. If your not saying that, then thats brill, but your probally making your friend feel even more closed off and less likley to confide in you with comments like that.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    M-D veries in differnt people I think, but yeah you do have some very happy periods and some very sad ones. They can last for weeks at a time though I think.
    Xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've sort of confussed things I think - I havn't said anything or think theres anything wrong... but that's for a different reason - & if i say it now you'll all be like, "why didn't you just say that to start off with?"

    But maybe if i say it'll make sence... Oh just made a bit of a confussion :L
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    bleepy wrote: »
    It's not depression because they're fine some of the time, just some times they are low... just teenage hormones?

    Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realise it was a rhetorical question.

    You're still wrong.

    Nobody in my school except my closest friends knew about my depression or my harming. Nobody in my life right now except people I know from here know about my depression, the little episode I had a couple of weeks ago, or the fact that I'm having a nervous breakdown (I've spoken about it to a couple of people at work but both were after bad days and therefore hardly taken seriously). I present myself to everybody has happy and confident and whatever. My housemate doesn't even know and I've been living with her for 9 months.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    How would you know if you have depression? Would you have to go to the doctors? And would that mean their parents would have to find out... :confused:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You tend to just know, really. It can be a number of things. Going to the doctors is a good idea but they can't really give you a diagnosis unless you tell them everything. I've never been officially diagnosed with depression but I know I had/have it.

    But no, if you go the doctor your parents won't have to know unless you are a very real danger to yourself afaik. Unless you are my first doctor, who said told my mum she was a bad parent and therefore negated any sympathy my mum would have given me from then on.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ah confussed me now! :razz:
    Your saying you tend to know.. but others have said you don't :S
    What do you do if you have depression!? :confused:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You tend to know if you yourself have it. Other people around you may have no idea.

    As to what you do? It depends on the person. Lots of people hide it and try and lead a normal life (like me, and it doesn't work so well). It's very individual.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    So you don't need to get it treated or anything, you can just carry on as usual?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You should get it treated. That doesn't mean people do, but you should. It is often difficult to decide what to treat it WITH though.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Should i suggest this to my friend then? :S
    But I really don't think it's any type of depression....
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Honestly, just leave your friend alone!! If one of my friends kept asking me questions I would get SO pissed off. Let them live their lives, and if they want help, they'll come to you. Promise.
    Xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    But i need to know.. for my own benifit... :S
    I havn't explained this well so it's going to seem like i'm crowding them... but it isn't like that..... :S
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Honestly, just leave your friend alone!! If one of my friends kept asking me questions I would get SO pissed off. Let them live their lives, and if they want help, they'll come to you. Promise.
    Xx

    Not unless they (in some cases) dont realise that they need help.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    MrG wrote: »
    Not unless they (in some cases) dont realise that they need help.
    But if they don't realise they need help they are unlikely to want to hear that they do from someone who has no idea what they're talking about.

    Also bleepy, no offence, but idgaf about your benefit. Your friend has chosen to not tell you about why they are feeling this way and you need to respect that and back the hell off.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Franki wrote: »

    Also bleepy, no offence, but idgaf about your benefit. Your friend has chosen to not tell you about why they are feeling this way and you need to respect that and back the hell off.

    :yes: exactly. This isn't about you Bleepy, let your friend live their life and make their own mistakes if that is how you want to see it!
    Xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Apart from the fact it actually IS me....
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    bleepy wrote: »
    Apart from the fact it actually IS me....

    Eh? :confused:
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