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my fella better get a move on with that proposal. i want babies!!!!!
I think it's a bit more than 'cute'. A Dog is cute. Giggle when you fart is cute, but - again - as much as I find the idea of marriage a bit old fashioned it is a kind of promise, which is always nice to get, even if they might be broken sometime.
I know, and I didn't claim that.
I don't think this has to do with the being married itself, but if the fact that if you are married before you are usually more "prepared" for the kid. In that statistic appear all those unplanned pregnancies of lousy parents who won't raise their offspring sensibly.
It's the same with a statistic in vienna: Kevin is not a usual name for a boy here. To be superficial to bring across the point: The Kevins I see on the street (if I overhear someone being called like that) are to a very high degree chavs (they don't exist over here, just for the sake that you know what I am talking about, so chav-like if you want).
The statistic says, that children with the name of Kevin, Jessica, Dennis, all unusal angloamerican names have lower grades in school on average. The statistic tries to sell us, that teacher are prejudiced against those children, which I might buy to a certain degree, the other side of the medal is, that those people are probably really uneducated, because they stem from those families. I know it's generalized, but like I said, empirical observation showed the kevin,jessy,dennis-distribution among the classes to me.
So there is more that meets they eye on first glance.
/e: I was brought up in a huge family too. We still all come together to almost every birthday to celebrate. I have probably two dozen cousins and those family gatherings were always exciting when I was a kid. This is definitely I want it to happen for my kid too.
Of course marriage makes a difference but not because of the marriage. I think children with two parents in a stable relationship generally fare better. Generally if the people are married then both parents will be around, and again generally speaking if they are married then it may be more stable.
Also btw if anyone gets confused by my post I said generally speaking so you don't need to reply about how your circumstances aren't marriage and you turned out fine lol, unless you poll everyone in your circumstance in the country (but people have already done representative polls and found what I've said!)
And of course the reason the Conservatives are so keen to put money in the pockets of married couples is because they are their core, middle-class voters.
It might not be the case that married parents = better parents, but rather better parents on average are more likely to get married.
But for example they have found that kids from these stable backgrounds do better in school. Whilst yes if they are looking for these they are bound to see them, it's hard to argue the studies are wrong because they thought it was the case anyway.
However, my partner and I have bought a house together and we've talked about kids. As was said in a previous thread, there are a number of different financial pressures on a couple out our stage of life. We have a mortgage and all the other things that go along with having a house.
Having said that, we live pretty comfortably and could afford to either get married or have a kid in the next year or so. We couldn't, however, afford to do both. I know that it's possible to get married on a shoestring, but what's the point? If I'm going to get married I want it done properly.
Anyway, the priority for us is kids rather than getting married. I'm sure we'll get married at some point, but it doesn't really matter when. Whereas with kids it's much easier to get pregnant in your 20s than post 20s, and we'll also have more energy than when we're a bit older.
I don't think it makes a difference whether parents are married or not. Our kids will have a different surname from me, which is the only difference that marriage creates. My partner and I love eachother whether we're married or not, and as we're not christians, a joint mortgage was probably more of a commitment than marriage will be.
I know exactly what you mean, I've experienced all this and it is not nice!
My cousin brought his wedding forward a year because they found out his g/f was pregnant...... they are now split up. Marrige isint everything, a loving stable home for the child is.