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To quit or not to quit?

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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You claim to know what benefit claimants do with their time and money, I challange that, you run away -fine by me.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    no because theyre already priveleged rich bastards screwing us all over, yet a few people scamming a few extra quid, yet still very probably living close to the poverty line are seen as worse

    This statement is so true.
    By the way, my mum gets lone-parents benefit for me. What's that all about?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    she will lose that when you move out
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    She shouldn't get it anyway because my dad lives with us.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think it's that anyway. It's something about me being over 16 and us being on Income Support.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    To be honest, your mum earns £30 a week cleaning right? I think you can earn about £20 a week whilst on IS without it being an issue so it's hardly fraud of the century.

    Getting off benefits is really hard, I'm going to be trying to do it myself in the next couple of years, it's definately not going to be easy.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lyric, it probably would be better for you to quit your job and concentrate on your exams, then get another job when you start uni. If you think you've organised things and feel you'd be better off moving out though, good luck with it. I hope it works out for you.
    I think the arguement about benefite fraud, apart from being irrelevent to this discussion, in generally pointless. We all know it's not a case of some evil people tricking the honest government who are trying to get a good deal for the hardworking, honest tax payer. Money is usually wasted, what it's wasted on is irrelevent.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    it actually makes me want to physically scrape out my own tonsils when people (especially at the tender age of 23) get so high and mighty about taxes and so full of hatred.

    why not take some of your acidic daily mail rage and throw it over some real thieves rather than the invisible bogeyman figure of the 'benefit fraud'? and i dont doubt for a second that one of the contributing factors of this moral outrage at the 'benefit fraud' is class hatred. you only have to look at adverts like this (which if like gen we like to keep a hawk like eye on our tax contributions then you'd be most delighted to know that we are paying for)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FENOAIrHSl8

    despite its similarities to nazi propaganda and the idea of dobbing in your neighbour. this advert perfectly illustrates that in 2010 you can now dob in your neighbour on your mobile. how convenient.

    those who have POSSIBLY had it hard in life and have got stuck into the poverty trap which to me seems to be what lyric is experiencing. i find it frustrating that people are able to bottle and reserve all of this outrage for those that really do not deserve it. but then it's easier and more comfortable to distinguish yourself from these benefit scum whilst working a saturday job in tesco. well good for you. i hope your meagre (and that's what it is on the grand scale of it) contribution to society is able to further assist any venomous attacks on any future scapegoats certain tabloids decide to churn out next.

    personally i'd like to express my own moral outrage at the fetus. lying there in it's own embryotic fluid of filth, leeching off the mother's nutrients and then, to top it off, out of my hard earned money from my saturday job (and my pocket money from ma and pa) i have to pay for the paristic scum to be born!! where it can go onto claim free milk at nursery and learn its abc's through watching sesame street on an unlicensed tv. SCUM.

    my point is that we have ALL leeched off someone in one way or another. god, we even BEGAN life leeching! however i prefer the term 'helping'. i dont think you can go through life being solely dependent. and if you can then good for you. you're abnormal.

    and down with fetuses. they make me sick.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    okay.... i think it's great that you come from an obviously successful home with parents working and it's also obvious that it's instilled in you a strong work ethic, it's just a shame they left out empathy. i'd question what happens when people dont have the example of working parents in their lives.

    situations are different and whilst it's easiest to target those not doing as well and turning them in. will it make you happier in the long run and do you really think in doing so your taxes will be noticably lower? because i wasnt aware that there was a way for the general populus to account for how the government spend every penny you contribute to taxes.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey everyone, please remember this is a thread looking for advice. I can understand why the issues involved create strong reactions and opinions but people should feel free to start a discussion in p&d to cover those points.

    Best to try and keep it seperate, otherwise when people are talking about the larger issues then it becomes hard to see much empathy or care for the situation the OP is in. Especially when personal views can seem so divorced from the reality of the poster.

    If someone did want to start a thread a link here pointing in it's direction wouldn't be a problem though ;)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    geneve wrote: »
    I'm not against benefits. If people need help getting back on their feet, of course they should get that. But I see a lot of families, including lyric's using benefits as a lifestyle choice and take more than they deserve. Look how much they have corrupted the family, wanting to throw her out for an extra few quid a week.

    I don't want my taxes to be lower. I pointed out I plan to more to a country with higher taxes, but that also has significantly lower welfare problems. It's not a matter of money, it's about what's right and wrong and having some form of social conscience and self respect.

    obviously you set yourself high standards that not everyone can live upto. i dont think it's going to be beneficial at all to lyric for you to pretty much slag off her entire family for claiming more benefits than theyre entitled to when the initial question shows that lyric does want to work so quite clearly the 'corruption' hasnt reached her yet..
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    aged 23 and a misanthropist.

    high five your parents for me.

    sorry lyric and jim. the end
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    it actually makes me want to physically scrape out my own tonsils when people (especially at the tender age of 23) get so high and mighty about taxes and so full of hatred.

    why not take some of your acidic daily mail rage and throw it over some real thieves rather than the invisible bogeyman figure of the 'benefit fraud'? and i dont doubt for a second that one of the contributing factors of this moral outrage at the 'benefit fraud' is class hatred. you only have to look at adverts like this (which if like gen we like to keep a hawk like eye on our tax contributions then you'd be most delighted to know that we are paying for)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FENOAIrHSl8

    despite its similarities to nazi propaganda and the idea of dobbing in your neighbour. this advert perfectly illustrates that in 2010 you can now dob in your neighbour on your mobile. how convenient.

    those who have POSSIBLY had it hard in life and have got stuck into the poverty trap which to me seems to be what lyric is experiencing. i find it frustrating that people are able to bottle and reserve all of this outrage for those that really do not deserve it. but then it's easier and more comfortable to distinguish yourself from these benefit scum whilst working a saturday job in tesco. well good for you. i hope your meagre (and that's what it is on the grand scale of it) contribution to society is able to further assist any venomous attacks on any future scapegoats certain tabloids decide to churn out next.

    personally i'd like to express my own moral outrage at the fetus. lying there in it's own embryotic fluid of filth, leeching off the mother's nutrients and then, to top it off, out of my hard earned money from my saturday job (and my pocket money from ma and pa) i have to pay for the paristic scum to be born!! where it can go onto claim free milk at nursery and learn its abc's through watching sesame street on an unlicensed tv. SCUM.

    my point is that we have ALL leeched off someone in one way or another. god, we even BEGAN life leeching! however i prefer the term 'helping'. i dont think you can go through life being solely dependent. and if you can then good for you. you're abnormal.

    and down with fetuses. they make me sick.
    i love you
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    obviously you set yourself high standards that not everyone can live upto. i dont think it's going to be beneficial at all to lyric for you to pretty much slag off her entire family for claiming more benefits than theyre entitled to when the initial question shows that lyric does want to work so quite clearly the 'corruption' hasnt reached her yet..

    And yet you set yourself up on such a moralistic pedastal as the ultimate paragon of compassion and understanding...

    It may not be beneficial to brand all benefit claimants as parasites and scroungers which we know not to be the case. However, nor is it beneficial to condone fraud which, last time I checked, is illegal, simply because there are, according to you, bigger wealth distribution problems than a few people who choose to fiddle their benefits. Two wrongs maketh not a right.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    And yet you set yourself up on such a moralistic pedastal as the ultimate paragon of compassion and understanding...

    I'm going to completely ignore this insult and put it down to the time I called you patronising. But thanks.
    It may not be beneficial to brand all benefit claimants as parasites and scroungers which we know not to be the case. However, nor is it beneficial to condone fraud which, last time I checked, is illegal, simply because there are, according to you, bigger wealth distribution problems than a few people who choose to fiddle their benefits. Two wrongs maketh not a right.
    I wasnt asking gen to condone fraud and nor was lyric. Perhaps you'd agree though that there is a time and a place to show one's hatred of people receiving benefits? i.e. those that struggle the most in our society. I agree. Two wrongs don't make a right. But I fail to see how people like gen showing their own moral outrage at people who commit benefit fraud is in anyway tangibly close to creating that right. I'm assuming her 'right' would consist of a utopian world in which everyone has a 9-5 job and council estates are unheard of. This does not exist. I'd put it to gen that she might like to consider why people choose to commit benefit fraud before she gives any other member's family a tongue lashing on here.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Agreed.
    So what do I do haha?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I have, but my mum has just said I could stay at home if I pay her so much a week.
    But then sometimes, she gets angry and tells me to move out.
    And then other times, I just hate living here and want to move out anyway,
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm going to completely ignore this insult and put it down to the time I called you patronising. But thanks.

    I wasnt asking gen to condone fraud and nor was lyric. Perhaps you'd agree though that there is a time and a place to show one's hatred of people receiving benefits? i.e. those that struggle the most in our society. I agree. Two wrongs don't make a right. But I fail to see how people like gen showing their own moral outrage at people who commit benefit fraud is in anyway tangibly close to creating that right. I'm assuming her 'right' would consist of a utopian world in which everyone has a 9-5 job and council estates are unheard of. This does not exist. I'd put it to gen that she might like to consider why people choose to commit benefit fraud before she gives any other member's family a tongue lashing on here.

    Although Thunderstruck's response wasn't necessarily the most tactful, I think there's merit in what he says. In your rush to lay claim to the moral high-ground, or at least to a liberal opinion, you've been quick use emotive and derogatory language against Geneve, while all the time talking about compassion and empathy as a prop to your argument. Polarising your opinion has also forced you to equivocate the areas which Geneve is right: benefit fraud is wrong. Everyone can see this is a more complex and nuanced argument than "dole scroungers vs. salt-of-the-earth down-on-their-luck-ers".

    It seems to me that Geneve is a bit naive to situations other than her own, but I’m not sure what’s to be gained by being fervently sanctimonious toward her. I’d be less likely to change my mind if someone was berating me on a matter.

    Lyric: I don’t envy your situation. It’s good that you’re thinking it over and seeking advice from others. I hope things work out for you.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I wasn't aware my responses were being marked or graded? However if you want to call me 'fervently sanctimonious' then I can think of a few 'emotive and derrogatory' words I'd quite like to apply to you. I was quite clearly expressing my opinion and in my own words 'frustration' about the views held by geneveve which I view as hateful and in no way aiding lyric's original post.

    Perhaps I'm as guilty as geneveve in that I let my own personal emotions and views get in the way of this thread. But I find it very hard reading 10+ pages of trivial and spiteful bullshit firstly degrading her family and then trying to instill some type of backward 'citizenship' by encouraging her to report her own family for benefit fraud. Obviously that 'frustration' trickled over into my responses but not being a frequent contributor to P&D such as yourself. (I wonder why that is..?) I assumed I was able to contribute to this discussion to add my own two pence worth without assumptions being made about my political views. Oh and next time I'd prefer it without the comparisons to Mother Theresa.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I wasn't aware my responses were being marked or graded? However if you want to call me 'fervently sanctimonious' then I can think of a few 'emotive and derrogatory' words I'd quite like to apply to you. I was quite clearly expressing my opinion and in my own words 'frustration' about the views held by geneveve which I view as hateful and in no way aiding lyric's original post.

    Perhaps I'm as guilty as geneveve in that I let my own personal emotions and views get in the way of this thread. But I find it very hard reading 10+ pages of trivial and spiteful bullshit firstly degrading her family and then trying to instill some type of backward 'citizenship' by encouraging her to report her own family for benefit fraud. Obviously that 'frustration' trickled over into my responses but not being a frequent contributor to P&D such as yourself. (I wonder why that is..?) I assumed I was able to contribute to this discussion to add my own two pence worth without assumptions being made about my political views. Oh and next time I'd prefer it without the comparisons to Mother Theresa.

    I wasn't trying to rile you. Apologies if it came across that way. It just seems this thread has long since stopped being about giving advice to Lyric, and had become a back and forth between a few posters and Geneve. I stick by my assertion that it's difficult to claim the moral high-ground while decrying Geneve's lack of compassion, and in the same breath being equally as derogatory toward her shortcomings. If it wasn't clear from my last post, I think Geneve is at best naive, and at worst is being wilfully ignorant.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks both of you :) For sticking up for me.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My homelife is just problematic.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lyric wrote: »
    My homelife is just problematic.

    It sure seems that way. I don't envy you. Whereabouts are you at with the situation, currently? Try not to let it get you down - just look at it as another of life's problems that needs sorting. If it were me I'd attempt to work out what was going to cause me least grief and problems in the short-term, so that I could buy myself some time in an attempt to avoid being forced into making immediate, detrimental decisions. Do you think there's a compromise that can be reached with your mum? Do you think she'd carry through on the things that's she's claiming she will?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Firstly.....

    http://vbulletin.thesite.org/showthread.php?p=2301988#post2301988

    Back to ADVICE which I *think* is what this bit of the boards is for.

    Lyric, you need to sit down and do some serious number crunching. If you think you've done that, and you genuinely think you're better off moving out and paying all the associated costs that go with that on your part time job income then you might want to think about posting the costs you're accounting for to get some advice on those. Plenty of people here have experience of budgeting so could help you out, because I'd hazard a guess you've possibly under estimated or missed some things otherwise most 6th form students would have moved out by now!

    As for how things are going with your mum, are there particular things that consistently cause rows?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well currently, I'm still living at home but I'm miserable. They treat me like a kid and we constantly argue and she doesn't even care that my birthday is coming up.

    I haven't really done any serious budgeting, but I have seen flats for about £50-£70 a week rent, and I would be able to afford that, as my boyfriend would be helping me out. Even if he wasn't, I'd still be able to pay that.

    And my mum changes her mind from one minute to the next. Sometimes she's like "Well, you can pay me so much every week" and then sometimes she's like "Just find a flat as soon as possible please"

    It's all very stressful.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    In what way do you get treated like a kid? And for that matter in what ways do you act like a kid?

    One minute you're saying that you're treated like a kid and it makes you miserable, the next you say that your birthday is coming up and no one is making a fuss about it.

    If you think you can afford a flat, then maybe a good starting point would be agreeing with your mum how much she wants a week from you. May not be ideal, but from your point of view it would be a good experiment to see if your budgeting works, and would give you a much more solid position with your mum.

    As for the price of flats, if you can find ones for £50-70 a week thats great, but then you need to add on bills, food, deposit costs.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    One minute you're saying that you're treated like a kid and it makes you miserable, the next you say that your birthday is coming up and no one is making a fuss about it.

    Well it's true!
    And I know, but once I'm 18, I will earn £120 a week without over time plus £30 EMA a week, so at I'll be bringing in at least £150 a week and my boyfriend will be bringing in around £200.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well it's true!
    And I know, but once I'm 18, I will earn £120 a week without over time plus £30 EMA a week, so at I'll be bringing in at least £150 a week and my boyfriend will be bringing in around £200.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think the point I was trying to make was that wanting people to make a fuss about youp upcoming birthday is somewhat kid like.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Not a fuss, just for them to care.. it's my 18th.
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