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To quit or not to quit?

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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Also, as an under 25 in full-time education, I think the rules I posted above mean that your income won't be taken into account, regardless of what benefits your parents are on.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Provided she is working enough hours in Sixth form to qualify as full-time. (18 hours/week?)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Is it 18, I thought it was 16?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Is the CAB confidential?

    And my mum recieves Housing benefits, Carers' allowance, low rate incapacity benefits, child benefits and extra for me because I'm over 16 and we're on Income Support. Loads really! Might have missed one or two..

    And yeah, I might be going to Uni, if I get a place.

    She is forcing me to write a letter of resignation soon. Even if I do go along with this and quit, does my mum really think I will speak to her after this? I'll want to move out after this..
    So what's it really benefitting?

    I'm so upset :(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I am nearly 18 and I go to sixthform every day.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yes of course, CAB is fully confidential and offer independent advice.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'll need to go soon then. And give as much information as I can and hope they help me.
    To be honest though, I understand what will happen if I keep on working. I can either declare it or not. My mum can either declare it or not. Both will probably have bad consequences :(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you can't get a quick appointment at CAb then try phoning Shelter as well. They should have a good understanding of the wider legal issues involved as it may affect your housing.

    I'd really recommend contacting them though - as katralla says there may be things that mean your income has no relevance to what your Mum gets in benefits. It's just good to make sure.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    And yes CAB and Shelter should both be able to deal with your questions in confidence.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Okay, thank you. I might email/phone them, or pop down.
    Even if I do quit this job, I want to leave anyway. I can't live here knowing my own mum has made me unhappy. You might say it's only a job, but jobs are hard to come by, I've settled in, I love the people, the money is okay etc.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lyric wrote: »
    Okay, thank you. I might email/phone them, or pop down.
    Even if I do quit this job, I want to leave anyway. I can't live here knowing my own mum has made me unhappy. You might say it's only a job, but jobs are hard to come by, I've settled in, I love the people, the money is okay etc.

    I would say "It is only a job" however that does not make it anyless important, your right, jobs are hard to come by, your settled and you enjoy it, most of all your being a responsable adult instead of doing what a lot of people can do and sponge/not work (and no that isn't aimed at anyone, just a general comment)

    I have a lot of respect for how your handaling this situation, I think (even though I see her point) your mum is being unfair about this. and I would love to say I hope you continue to have a good relationship with your mum after this as family is important, however from the sounds of it, it may be difficult,

    Do you have anywhere to go if you did move out? other family, aunts/uncles/grand parents?

    Obviously, your mum is also worried as when you turn 18 she will receive NO benefits for you whatsover (as far as I am aware) and if your working she will have to pay rent (by the sounds of the way it is going) so it is kind of a trap as her "money in" will decrease but her "money out" will increase.

    May i ask, out of curiosity, how much/how often do they do these "odd jobs" obviously it is personal and feel free not to answer, it's just purely for my own curiosity that someone can get away with earning/working and claim benefits.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Good luck lyric.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lea_uk wrote: »
    Good luck lyric.

    Quite.

    See what the advice people offer you. Your parents are being completly unreasonable here, and it is a rubbish situation. I suppose now is the time that you have to make some tough decisions about what sort of person you want to be. Do you want to go through life having to compromise your integrity because your mum wants to claim some more free cash, or do you want to establish yourself as a decent person, and break a declining circle.

    I know which I'd do, but it's an easy decision from the outside.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I want to break the declining circle of course!
    And my mum sometimes does part-time cleaning work. Only for no more than £30 a week, but still..

    And I suggested to her today that I move into a flat. But she wants me gone by Monday.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    By the way people - thanks a lot for this advice. You have really hit the nail on the head. It's a horrible situation that I'm in; I have cried so much in the past few days and I'm so glad I could post on here to help me feel better and maybe get some good advice, which I have. So thanks :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Right, I checked a few things out for me and got confirmation today,

    unfortunately when living with your parents you have no legal rights like a tenant to have a minimum notice period for her to kick you out, so she can unfortunately kick you out on Monday if she wishes.

    Legally once you've reached 16 your parents can ask you to leave :(

    So unfortunately you only have a few options, please, i have asked a few times and if you wish not to answer just say, but do you have anywhere to go,

    Have you contacted shelter?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My mum has a few phone numbers for flats that I can ring up. (Private landlords). But will they give me one as soon as Monday? I think she should at least give me till next week..
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    they might do if theyre empty and youve got a deposit
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You'd think. but if it comes to a choice over one person being homeless or the family, I guess we know which side most people would chose.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah, I know. I've decided to move out and I'm currently looking for flats. My boyfriend is going to stay with me for a few weeks until I get on my feet.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Okay good luck hun, one thing I believe you need to look into is any benefits you will be liable for.

    Obviously, correct me if your wrong but is this your situation (once you get a job?)

    Single (as in unmarried, living on your own)
    Part time work,
    Full time education,

    You may be eligible for some benefits. maybe help with housing, low income benefits etc.

    I wish you the best of luck but I suggest contact (as said before) Shelter or the CAB to find out what your eligible for.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm keeping my job.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lyric wrote: »
    I'm keeping my job.

    Of course, I never said otherwise, but just because your working doesn't mean you will not be entitled to help.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Fair enough. Well I will look into it! The only thing I'm REALLY scared about is spiders..
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think you should look for a room in a shared h ouse or as a lodger rather than a flat on your own. As a young personn, any housing benefit you get is not likely to cover the rent for a flat, but much more likely to cover a room -that is they way the calculations are made, anyone under 25 gets the amount for a room if they're eligible.

    If you move in somewhere as a lodger, you might find you get on well with the family and won't have to feel worried about being lonely or not being able to deal with things like spiders and there'll be someone to ask how to do the laundry etc. Also, as a lodger you would only have one bill to pay, your rent probably every week. This will make the transition from living at home to on your own easier as it's a difficult task to pay all the bills that come with a flat.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I wouldn't like to move in with people I didn't know. My boyfriend is going to stay with me for a bit and pay half of my rent and bills until I get on my feet.. in the future, he might move in permamently.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i agree with Katralla. If you get a flatshare the bills will probably be included in the rent, which will make things a hell of a lot easier for you, or maybe a bedsit, then you wouldnt have to be in contact with the other tenants
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    In a bedsit, do you get your own bathroom?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    not usually. Its normally a large room, like a studio flat, where the bed, and the kitchen facilities and sofa are all in the same room, but a shared bathroom with maybe 2 or 3 others. Ive lived in a bedsit when i was younger and it was fine
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'd HATE to share a bathroom. There would be time limits and it could be dirty..
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