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Need urgent help - suicidal friend

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hey all

This is a very long story and I can't really go into all the details for lack of time, but I have a friend who has been struggling with intense depression for a long time - she's been in and out of hospital, had counsellors, therapists, psychologists, several different types of medication, has tried to commit suicide at least twice - the list is basically endless and nothing is helping her. Anyway she got admitted to hospital over the weekend due to her suicidal thoughts reaching crisis point and has been in a couple of nights, but she's had a meeting with the doctor today who has discharged her and refused to even consider changing her meds or anything. She's now texting me telling me she's had enough, feels she has been totally cast aside by the NHS and is too tired to fight her demons any more (in short, she is determined to go ahead with suicide) and I don't know what the hell to do. She lives in Kent so I can't see her. I've made her promise she'll answer the phone to me when I ring her later, but what can I say? Who can I ask for help with this? Is there anyone I can get to intervene with the doctor on her behalf? She is living with her parents (who are picking her up from the hospital soon) and they obviously know about all this to an extent but I'm at a loss as to what I can do to stop her doing this. Sorry this is so confused, I'm just panicking that she's reached breaking point and nobody can stop her or help :(

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    This is just a suggestion but could get someone to go to her house? like a therapist or doctor or something (you might not even know where she lives though) hrmm..

    As for the phone call maybe you could get her to tell you whats upsetting her and try and talk through it

    (sorry im not very good with advice atm)

    speak soon x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thank you for your reply, and don't worry, any advice is better than none :)

    I do know her address but am just worrying about what I'm in a position to do and whether people will take this seriously considering she's been discharged...also I will try talking it through with her on the phone but to be honest considering how many professionals have tried and failed to help her I'm at a loss as to what good I will be...I just feel totally out of my depth. She said she wants me to call her house at about 7.30 but even if I do speak to her how do I know she won't go through with it after the phonecall? I have no idea how to deal with this at all.
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    **helen****helen** Deactivated Posts: 9,235 Supreme Poster
    Hey SG,

    Big *hugs* to you, you're clearly a really good friend. I know you're not the one who is suicidal, but I'd suggest calling The Samaritans as they'll be able to offer you some support in dealing with this and understanding what your friend might be going through.

    Also, it's obviously really hard and you want to protect your friend, but joining forces with her parents at this time may well be really beneficial for you and your friend, do you think you might be able to do that? :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah, speaking to her parents might be the best thing to do

    And don't forget to look after yourself - you sound really worried, and though that's great in a really good friend, remember about yourself and your own health.

    xxx
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks guys. She text me again to say she wasn't really up for talking tonight, just wanted to crash out when she got home - so I made her promise we'd have a chat tomorrow, I will try to speak to the Samaritans or someone before then. I have no way of knowing if she's just fobbing me off though, really :( I don't know about speaking to her parents, I'm sure they're worried enough as it is, but if it comes down to it I'll give anything a go.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    re

    Hey Stupidgirl,

    Sounds like a tough sitation for you and that youve done what you can to support your friend. Its a good thing that her parents are aware and maybe make that judgement in time if you want to speak to them.

    Have you any friends or a parent that you can chat to??Dont be alone with it all anyway, the site is always here:wave:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks...I don't feel at all that I've done what I can to support her though to be honest. I think I've been a bit of a crap friend.

    I do have a mate who's a clinical psychologist who I've talked to about this - she's going to speak to some colleagues of hers tomorrow for me and see what they suggest as options for my friend. I just hope she doesn't do anything tonight though, she sounds like she might.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    re

    Hey Stupid girl,

    Maybe if you continue to be worried that her health and well being are in danger then maybe seriously think about contacting her parents.

    Im sure you have been a good friend, dont sell yourself short there, supporting someone though depression and suicidal thoughts can be worrying and have you on edge, maybe do what your gut tells you with regard to her.

    Keep posting
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