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Confusion
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
So i talked to my boyfriend told him exactly how i felt (view previous post), and since (5 days ago) everyday he has told me that he doesn't want to talk to me, and that he doesn't want to see me. A few days after i spoke to him although he said he didn't want to see me, he agreed. We met up, talked, had sex and everything felt fine but as soon as i left and tried to talk to him again he was saying the exact same things. I don't know what to do. I want to give him space and not talk to him, but i don't understand what i've done wrong. We've been together for 4 years and for him to go like this after me telling him how i feel i don't know what to do!
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I just had a look at your previous post and it sounds like you've been really brave in telling him how you feel - it's better to have those kind of feelings out in the open rather then letting them brew in your mind and end up in resentment. Well done for taking the plunge.
Not only have you opened up to him, which can often make us feel vulnerable, but you've also admitted your own insecurities and paranoia. That's not an easy thing to do and it doesn't sound like he's reacted how you might have liked. It may be that there are just small things he can do to reassure you but he needs to be willing to try.
Perhaps his instinct is to jump on the defensive, he feels attacked, which makes you feel bad for saying anything or like you have done something wrong. You haven't. Try and give him that space to absorb what you've said and think about how he feels. It might take a few days or it might take a few weeks, it's not easy when you just want to fix things but people process their emotions differently.
If after some time, he can't be honest with you too and show that he wants to try and resolve things then as others have said it might be time for you to think about whether this realtionship can really work?
Have you got any mates to help distract you for the next few days at least or to talk to about how you're feeling? It might help to try and take your mind off him a bit. I hope it all works out for you, keep posting *hug*
Schoolboy error! Oh well I'll close it now