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I hate myself

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
sorry to bring people down but I feel so pathetic and useless right now.

I have been applying for agents to hire me so that I can get a job performing and knowone has replied me and I just feel like knowone wants me.......I'm stressing about my career and im so close to graduating college and without an agent I might aswell give up my dream and quit everything :( I am pushing my girlfriend away when she is trying to help me coz she just doesnt know how I am feeling and what I am going through coz she isnt a performer....
I'm also worried that when I have to go away on jobs that me and her are no longer going to be able to be together anymore. All of this just makes me want to run away and go somewhere knowone knows me, I so want to slice my skin open right now and bleed till I drain all the blood from my body :( graphic I know but i cant stop thinking about it. I also have no ice cubes right now so I don't even have that to take my mind off of how im feeling.

I'm sorry for the moaning but this is the only place I know I wont be judged for being stupid.

Love to you all :heart:


  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey *Anna*
    Sorry to hear that you feel so down at the moment. I dont think its stupid, I think everyone feels useless and pathetic at times. Just keep going and see what comes up, you've probably worked really hard to get this far and so keep going, dont give up. Something will come along soon.
    To take your mind off of things you could go out for a walk, I find it helps me sometimes, to clerar my head. Or scribble down how your feeling and then rip the paper up. Or draw on your arm in a red pen. Hope things work out x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thankyou limesquash.

    yeh i have worked hard, thats why im so scared of failing :( I have a long way to fall and self harm is the way i keep on top of things.

    thankyou for your advise tho.

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