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Coping with change
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
How have others done this ?
I think this is something I've found difficult. I graduated in 2007 and moved back home. I felt gutted at the end of university - everyone going off to different places and I didn't know if friendships would be maintained.
Since moving back I've had to re-build a social network and feel I have done this quite successfully. At two points since university I've lived in france and made friends there and then left and come back.
At university I was unwell, but I think I've done pretty well since uni and been involved with a local MIND - they run a lot of courses and groups there and I've gained a great deal there since October 07. One of the staff mentioned they want to do a coping with change course in the future which I'd like to do.
But I've found that friends being scattered all over the place has had an effect on me and I've been unsure about maintaining these relationships and what I think is the out of sight, out of mind situation - I don't think long distance relationships are easy !
So I guess how do you manage change/maintain relationships with people who are far away ? I find I put the effort in, but don't get much effort back which has made me wonder about relationships and how people keep in touch - I guess it's understanding relationship dynamics between people and between people living near and further away - I've struggled with this if I'm honest.
I think this is something I've found difficult. I graduated in 2007 and moved back home. I felt gutted at the end of university - everyone going off to different places and I didn't know if friendships would be maintained.
Since moving back I've had to re-build a social network and feel I have done this quite successfully. At two points since university I've lived in france and made friends there and then left and come back.
At university I was unwell, but I think I've done pretty well since uni and been involved with a local MIND - they run a lot of courses and groups there and I've gained a great deal there since October 07. One of the staff mentioned they want to do a coping with change course in the future which I'd like to do.
But I've found that friends being scattered all over the place has had an effect on me and I've been unsure about maintaining these relationships and what I think is the out of sight, out of mind situation - I don't think long distance relationships are easy !
So I guess how do you manage change/maintain relationships with people who are far away ? I find I put the effort in, but don't get much effort back which has made me wonder about relationships and how people keep in touch - I guess it's understanding relationship dynamics between people and between people living near and further away - I've struggled with this if I'm honest.
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I kind of think that someone mentioned this Michael Rosen poem to me today where he describes people coming into and out of his life rings true with me. It's the leaving my life part that I find tricky, but then maybe with people that leave your life they leave an imprint that stays with you in a positive way. It's just wondering how to manage these feelings I guess when you have been close - I think relationships and the dynamics of them can be confusing.
'Friends are for a reason, a season or a lifetime'? I found it very helpful. Not all friendships are forever and letting seasonal ones go is sometimes necessary.
Yeah I came across that a while ago, but wan't sure how you know for sure which one is which in terms of your friends.
I've left it with some people and made that decision and it was probably for the best.
I did a course last year and I mentioned this in response to someone else bringing friends up as a difficulty - the tutor said it wasn't easy.
I don't think it's easy, but maybe gets easier with time to work out who's who and deal with the emotions.