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Should I or shouldn't I?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Me+my ex were only together for 1 month and we finished in November, however today I really want to talk to him and I don't know why.

Before him I was with someone else who I really was head over heels in love with, I thought he felt the same way but one day he unexpectadely ended the relationship. I was broken hearted but at the time I was starting to come down with severe depression. I started to selfharm and I tried to commit suicide(which I really regret!!)

Anyway, I wouldn't start a relationship with any guy until my most recent ex turned up. It had been almost a year that I had been by myself and I was so scared to start anything bt my ex understood my past(he had previously tried to commit suicide and used to self harm). Everything was great at first until we tried to have sex. It was really painful so the sex was minimal. After a few weeks we tried to have sex again, it was difficult and painful but we managed it just about. Towards the end the condom came off and I started to panic that I could end up pregnant. Because of this we started to really have bad arguments and a few days later he ended it by text. I was quite releaved because being with someone was hard but i also felt disgusted that I slept with him so easily.

After that I didn't really think about him but recently I can't stop. I don't have feelings for him and I don't know why I want to talk to him but I do. Should I try to? If I do will he ignore me? if he does I will feel like shit and like he really does hate me. I don't know what to do. My head is messed up, I just feel like crap and I dunno who to talk to. Help!!

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hmmm. What do you hope to get from talking to him?

    I'm inclined to think you should leave it, really. For a while at least. Take some time to think things through and work out why you are wanting to talk to him, and what you are trying to achieve.

    It's likely that he doesn't really think about you at all, and finding this out might be painful.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't expect anything from him to be honest, I just want to talk to someone who understands exactly how I feel. I feel like I need to self harm again and I haven't felt like that for months. I'm just confused and I don't know what to do.
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