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My best friend

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I dont like the way my best friends boyfriend treats her. Shes barely even allowed to talk to other guys cause she "flirts" (shes one of the least flirty people i know.) He went for a drink with one of his ex's (who was trying to split them up) and she pulled him up about this, not cause she was jealous, but because hes a hypocrite. If she had an ex she would definately never be allowed to talk to him (hes her first boyfriend) When she pulled him up about this he said she "had a repuation" and he "has his reasons to be paranoid." He constantly calls and texts her, gets arsey when she cant reply cause shes at work or in class. I want to show her this isn't healthy, but dont know how to without risking losing her.

Should i just keep schtum and put up or is there anything i can do?

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think you should talk to her about it. If you had a boyfriend like that, I'm sure you would want her to help you out.
    Invite her round one night, and gently nudge the convo towards the subject of if she's happy etc.
    Xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Omg I was in exactly the same situation a few months back, he had all her passwords to everything and would go through her phone, emails, facebook and everything. There were other things too but bottom line he was massively controlling and jealous....and she even admitted it. It got to the point where she was scared of him and wanted to break it off and I was there the whole time supporting her and trying to help build up her courage to leave him and help her see that she didn't need him....but he'd always talk her round and she'd go back. I eventually fell out with him after he accused me of being interferring and jealous and now they're still together and everythings 'peachy', she hardly speaks to me now which I suspect isn't a co-incidence. The only thing you can really do is talk to her but it's up to her if she wants to do anything about it. It's really horrible having to witness it from the outside and there being so little you can do about it, and then being accused of being the trouble maker when you're actually trying to help. Don't be afraid to try and help her if she wants it though.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you dont do anything about it and the situation gets worse and worse you'll hate yourself for not doing anything about it sooner.

    She may at first be defensive and especially as this is her first boyfriend its very easy to be so loved up that any bad word said against him is ignored but better to talk to her than sit back and do nothing
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