advice please.

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,329 The Mix Honorary Guru
I got back from 3 months abroad in mid-November and came to temporarily stay with my parents. After about 2 weeks I was really really depressed (more than ever before) and avoided seeing anyone. I blamed it on having a malarial infection which lasted 4 days but I pretended was 2/3 weeks.

I was then relatively OK for 3 weeks (a little unhappy but not depressed), although I was still getting anxious at visiting friends or extended family. I had my first proper anxiety attack while getting my haircut. I had my eyes closed and was ready to explode, breathing heavily, felt like I was 5 seconds from jumping up and running out with half a haircut. As soon as the barber said 'finished' I snapped out of it. It scared the hell out of me.

I'm going out later on to some comedy club. I really don't feel like going, but I haven't been out in 6 days. I used to go out most nights somewhere, but now I tend to go out only on a Friday or Sat, and I avoid drinking. I avoid any major event and stick to going round to friends houses. I'm get nervous before going. I even go home asap, like midnight when it used to be 3/4 am. I spend my day in dream-world, and when my family come home in the evening, I avoid them and avoid going out, pretending I'm busy job-hunting or something. In reality I'm not job-hunting at all because getting a job would mean interviews and work which leads to panic attacks. I'm 26 next week and I'm trying to make excuses to keep it low key even though some of my mates want to go out Friday night somewhere.

I was pretty down about losing my job before I went abroad, and looking back I've almost always been a little socially anxious/depressed since school so that might have just triggered it. The 3 months abroad were brilliant, but I knew things would be the same when I came back. But it's a whole lot worse than ever before and I can't see a way out.

What the hells up with me and how do I fix it?

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,329 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi there drumbeats

    Really sorry to hear that you lost your job - I don't think we always acknowledge how big a deal this can be.
    And having panic attacks is very scarey so I'm not surprised it feels too much to go out and socialise. There's some info here that might help. It can also be helpful to get some professional help - GPs and counsellors can provide different kinds of support to help you with depression and anxiety. Do you think you could go see someone like this or perhaps you have a friend or relative you could be honest with?

    Until then, it sounds like giving yourself a bit of a break and just trying to do what you can at your pace might help.

    Keep posting if you need an outlet or more support from others who can understand where you're coming from :wave:
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