Am i a boy or girl?

Former Member

I am a 17 year old boy but i feel that i should be a girl as i get older this feeling is getting stronger, i am slim and keep my hair shoulder length people often think i am a girl even when i am not trying to look like one all my life i have liked girls things and have been wearing my sisters clothes whenever i could because then i felt calm and complete for a while i even have small breasts and am not that well developed down there :rolleyes: maybe i have some kind of hormone inbalance im not sure. This has always been known by mum but she just treated it as a joke and thought i would grow out of it, anyway it all came to a head a while ago and she realised how sad i was so agred to let me have a few things that i could wear now and again whaich was great and i felt really happy, over xmas though i was able to spend loads of time as Louise and because of the snow i was home alone for a week so i spent whole days being the real me, but now i really miss it and am finding it hard to cope i know now that i need to be Louise for ever if i am going to happy but i dont know what to do or how to talk to mum about this.Dont know if i am a cross dresser or need to change sex Anyone else with same feelings or know anyone in situation

Former Member

i think the first thing is you need to maybe speak to your gp and ask for counselling. There are also support groups for people with these issues. i can assure you, you wont be alone

Former Member

I think that you are very fortunate that your Mum is being very supportive but I do think that you need to pluck up the courage to go and see your doctor and possibly get referred to a psychiatrist. This is not because you are 'abnormal' but because they will be able to test, interpret and diagnose your feelings and help you to progress further in your life as a happy, balanced individual.

You may well be transgendered, have a X/Y chromosome imbalance or whatever but the sooner you get professional help, the sooner you can be diagnosed and, if a sex change is the way to go, then the appropriate wheels can be put into motion to get this treatment going sooner rather than later.

Psychology and medicine has come a long way and I am sure that with the right support, you can be the person that you really are. *hugs*

Former Member

I agree with the other posters. It sounds to me like 'Louise' is type of escapism, where Louise doesn't have all the problems and worries that her male counterpart has.

Gender stereotypes are also playing a part here. So you grow your hair long; big deal.

Former Member

Gender and sex are two different things. If you feel like a woman but have a cock then you're a woman.

Former Member

I used to want to be a boy, but never seriously enough to have a sex change.
I think you should defo speak to your GP, and as others have said, you aren't alone. Good luck
Xx

Former Member

I honestly don't think that any intervention is necessary; at least not at this point. You sound like you're doing fine. Doctors & psychologists are for ill people - you are not ill.

From what you've said, you may be a Klinefelter's (XXY) - it's not that rare a condition.

Former Member

Faustus wrote: »

I honestly don't think that any intervention is necessary; at least not at this point. You sound like you're doing fine. Doctors & psychologists are for ill people - you are not ill.
.

The OP is uncertain of their gender identity, a counsellor will be able to help them think through tthe issues. If gender reassignment is desirable, the earlier it is identified to prevent ongoing development in the "wrong" role the better - even if it's just halted while further decisions are made.

Former Member

Faustus wrote: »

I honestly don't think that any intervention is necessary; at least not at this point. You sound like you're doing fine. Doctors & psychologists are for ill people - you are not ill.

What a load of unsympathetic bollocks! Doctors and psychologists are only for ill people? Very often they are there to confirm that you are NOT ill.

Big Gay wrote: »

The OP is uncertain of their gender identity, a counsellor will be able to help them think through tthe issues. If gender reassignment is desirable, the earlier it is identified to prevent ongoing development in the "wrong" role the better - even if it's just halted while further decisions are made.

:yes: Exactly.

Former Member

Well i guess i will not find a magic answer to whats going on in my head but i seem to be getting more and more certain that i need to change things for my own good. I know i need to see my gp and take this further but part of me is scared that i will get pushed along a diffrent path to the one i feel i really want to follow. I need to somehow show my mum that its not just about the clothes and the feelings go so much deeper, but i cant even begin to explain how strongly i feel that my body is not right i am so frustrated right now. I am begining to spend more and more time at home away from my friends now that i am able to dress freely at home taht is all i really want to spend my time doing.

Former Member

you shouldn't get pushed along the wrong path but you do need to make sure you're honest with them - and that includes letting them know if there's anything you're uncomfortable with.

Former Member

I can't help feeling that my family , gp etc will just think the right thing to do is encourage me to be a "normal boy" and will try to make sure i conform, i am wooried that if i tell my mum now she will freak out and take away my clothes etc and stop me even dressing which right now is the only thing that keeps me sane, i could ruin everything. So i guess i need to decide wether to speak to mum forst or go straight to gp.

Former Member

I'd suggest you talk to the GP first, and depending what you find out about yourself you talk to the family later.

Former Member

Louisek wrote: »

I can't help feeling that my family , gp etc will just think the right thing to do is encourage me to be a "normal boy" and will try to make sure i conform, i am wooried that if i tell my mum now she will freak out and take away my clothes etc and stop me even dressing which right now is the only thing that keeps me sane, i could ruin everything. So i guess i need to decide wether to speak to mum forst or go straight to gp.

I can't speak for your parents because I don't know them but most parents really just want you to be happy, it's all we ever want. Sometimes we don't get that across very well...

As for your GP, I doubt that will be the case. You aren't alone there are thousands of people like you in the UK. The support and, should you wish to go that far, surgery are NHS treatments. They will help you get to the point that you are happy with and will not force any solution on you.

Good luck and I hope you find the happiness you seek.

Former Member

Faustus wrote: »

I honestly don't think that any intervention is necessary; at least not at this point. You sound like you're doing fine. Doctors & psychologists are for ill people - you are not ill.

From what you've said, you may be a Klinefelter's (XXY) - it's not that rare a condition.

You sir, would do better to learn something about Gender Dysmorphia before making any further comments, otherwise you come across as a fool.

Doctors and phychologists deal with a great range of problems. Some are medical but many are social. In this case the OP seems to be struggling with both. Rather than suggest that they shouldn't seek help, it is actually their best course of action and the support they will get from the professionals who deal with this on a daily basis would do them much more good than your ill informed comments.

Former Member

Well i plucked up the courage to make an appointment withe my GP but last night i was talking to my mum about all sorts of things when i just blurted out how i was feeling really confused about things, she said she was not that surprised and and had been worried about what was happening in my life for years. Funny all this time and we were both thinking and stressing about the same thing! Anyway she has asked me not to see the GP straight away she wants me to spend more time as Louise a couple of weekends 24/7 not sure how that will work but she says she will make it ok. She wants to see me live as Louise for at least two solid weeks probably over easter we may even go away for a week so that will be easier at least. I guess i need to do things her way and at least in a way things are moving on. I hope that after i have proved how serious i am she will support me with the GP etc. If not then not sure what i will do somehow i will have to go it alone because something needs to change.

Former Member

I'm glad that you are communicating with your Mum about this and she seems, on the face of it, relatively supportive. I am sure that all she wants for you is to be happy but she has her fears for you too so some sympathy for her is appropriate. Remember though, that this is YOUR life so make sure that you are perfectly happy with any action that she suggests.

Keep us informed! :thumb:

Former Member

Seeing my GP on Monday, extremley nervous now, major butterflies!
Could be the start of the rest of my life or the start of a long battle.

Former Member

I'm sure anyone would be nervous.. It is great you have booked the appointment, let us know how everything goes.
Remember to be as honest as you can to the GP, and I hope you find happiness.
Xx

Former Member

Good luck

Hope it goes well, and that it is the start of a new life for you :yes:

Former Member

:wave: Hi LouiseK ,

Welcome to the site, Im sorry that you are feeling low and confused at the moment, I have looked up some information on Transvestism and Transsexualism for you to have a look at in your own time. Is there anyone you feel you can talk to and express how you are feeling at the moment ?, you may find this a big help and relief to confide in somebody.

I hope this has been useful,
Let us know how you are getting on,
Keep posting,
B:)

Former Member

Hey thanks for your support you guys are fantastic, just right know though i feel the need to cry, my emotions are all over the place, sometimes a girl just needs a hug i guess.
Going to scream now hope you dont mind arrrrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhh

Former Member

*hugs* Let us know how the GPs goes, it's today isn't it?
Xx

Former Member

*hugs*

i think you are being really brave.
have you had your GP appointment yet?
x

Former Member

Thanks for the hugs Broken-Angel and omg hi, really sweet of you.
I saw my gp on Monday and it went ok i think, i was in there for nearly 30 minutes she weighed me, measured me and generally poked and prodded me till i had no dignity left lol. She agreed that i was'nt developing as i should but then quizzed me on how much i ate etc. She wanted to know if i thought that had i developed "normally" did i think i would still have these feelings, i explained to her that i felt i was a girl from a very young age way before puberty and then we had a long chat about what i wanted to happen and what my options were. She thinks i could have a undiagnosed chromosone or hormone problem at this point i became tearful as i felt she was syaing "oh dont worry a few injections and we can make these feelings go away" but she said it was just something to look at and i shouldnt worry about it at this stage, ( well i am worried lol )
She called my mum in after my examination and had a chat to her and i was amazed how my mum spoke for me she was really supportive and said she would stand by me whatever the outcome was ( more tears lol )
Anyway i have to go back next tuesday to see the nurse and have blood taken then about ten days later return to see my gp and find out where i go from here. She has said that if i am serious i need to spend much more time as Louise i need to start going out more and interacting as a female and that from now on if i see her it must be as Louise i guess she wants to see how serious i am for herself. So in a few weeks i go back and see her as Louise so not nervous about that at all lol, just hope she thinks i look the part.

Former Member

Well done Louise :-) That is great, after reading that I am actually smiling. It must of been very hard to pluck up the courage to go to the GPs, and speak to your mum about it. It is fab that everyone it supportive of you, and remember that the GP does have to go through all your options with you.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/switch/surgery/advice/body_mind/everyone/gender_dysphoria_transgender/ theres some good links at the bottom too under "further help and advice"
Xx

Former Member

Thanks Broken-Angel i know i am luckier than most with the support i am getting and i am soooo greatful for it i know there are many more more who do not get any help at all and although it did take a lot of courage to do something i really could not have gone on with out going mad so i really had no choice.
Trying to find the courage to get my ears pierced now (ouchhhhh)

Former Member

oh, it doesn't hurt trust me :-) I got them done last year! Get it done with the gun, not the needle though. NEVER try and pierce your own lip.. I've learnt from experiance it hurts... a lot.
Xx

Former Member

It can hurt, but usually doesn't

Former Member

I have had the best weekend ever i am still so excited its ridiculos lol, my first time going our properly as Louise on Saturday i thought i would be nervous but i felt that i looked so good and felt so confident i couldnt wait.I went to the movies with my mum and i just felt so natural so normal it was amazing im still on a high at last i felt i was really getting somewhere, all the small things about being Louise are so cool, someone called me a young lady lol that made me almost float along even just standing in the line for the ladies after the film was an experiance how sad is that lol we went on and had pizza after and no one seemed to give me a second look, a group og girls seemed to be staring at one point but mum said to relax they are just looking you over and they soon lost intrest so i feel really confident about the future now. We went out shopping this morning i bought a few things and mum treated me to a lot of what she calls"basics" but i call boring lol. I eventually got up the courage to try on a skirt in Top shop i was'nt going to but she said she would not pay for it if i didnt after that i think i tried on most of the shop lol. Sorry im going on i know i just wanted to share my happy thoughts xx

Former Member

I'm glad it went so well, and I think it's great your mum is so supportive.