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I'm very happy for you
Can I ask, out of interest - where are you up to with your transition now, in terms of treatment etc? (You may have said this elsewhere but I haven't gone back and looked for it, sorry!)
Well its still very early days although looking back a lot has happened in the past few months.
A few weeks ago i changed my my name by deed poll, so i am now offically Miss Louise K :d
I have been living full time as Louise for 38 days today and it has been a complete dream every single day.
I have an appoitment to see a psychiatrist on the 26th of this month if i convince him that i am genuine then fingers crossed he will refer me to a Gender clinic where i can begin an assesment programme.
I am hoping i will be able to be fast tracked through the assesment as i am already living full time and have changed my name which should show that i am serious about this.
It is frustrating as i know 110% that i am female but i understand that the doctors don't know my thoughts and have to be certain themselves.
It would be really nice if i could get through the assesment programme and begin treatment before christmas.
The sooner i can start hormones and gain some control over this body the better:thumb:
Amazingly i do not feel nervous at all just excited, looking back at the first time i had to present as Louise at my doctors i feel i have come a long way, i am so much more confident in the way i look and the clothes i wear that i feel i have overcome a barrier in my own mind.
Although i still have not decided what to wear and will probably try on half the contents of my wardrobe :yes:
Still have not managed to get a job i hope that does not count against me i have tried but its really hard to find anything.
Anyway hopefully all will go well tomorrow and i will get refered.
He went right back to my childhood, wanted to know when i first felt this way, when i first started dressing. He wanted to know about various experiances through my life.
We seemed to talk about family and friends a lot of the time, the fact my dad left and i was bought up in a otherwise female household, after a while i got the impression he was looking for anything to say "ohh well you see your not actually TG you just think you are"
So anyway he wants to see me again in two weeks "when we can chat a little more"
In the mean time he wants me to put down in writing a brief outline of my life so far and also my hopes and ambitions for the future.
Why do i feel like everyone is out to trip me up and find any obstacle to put in my way.
I have gone through a lot and put others through a lot do they really think i would do this if i was'nt so sure.
I am female i know i am, i have always known i am, i have done everything i can what more can i do.
Sometimes i feel like i am being punished but i really can't help what iam :crying:
I just need a little help
Sorry rant over.
Hun, I suspect that you have to remember that they need to be absolutely sure that you feel - and will always feel - that you are a woman. This decision cannot be taken lightly by any anyone in the medical profession because of the possible repurcussions if they agree in haste.
Have you been in contact with any other transgender people to find out their experiences leading up to their gender correction? I'm sure that every single one of them will have set-backs, disappointments and frustration along the way.
Just keep on being yourself, hun.
Try to doing a bit of research, in anticipation of any further questioning, to find out how many 'transgender' people are actually denied gender correction because they grew up in a house 'full of females'. I know a number of straight and gay boys who have only ever had females in their lives when growing up and none of them feel the same way you do.
*hugs again* *hug*
As G says, I don't think they'll be able to trip you up, and I don't think that is necessarily what they're trying to do.
Stay strong, you've done a great job so far. I'm sure with time this Dr will get to know you and see that the change really is in yoiur best interests
All the best xxx
I can imagine there as some prejudiced (sp?) people around that havnt made this easy for you, yet you will probly find that the people who's opinions matter to you, will be supportive of this. Some might not know what to say sometimes as its rarely something that comes up for discussion.
However I hope if there are people who are in a similar situation as yourself when you first made this thread, that the lengthy debate and chat about this on thesite will be able to help them
Important thing number 1, you have made it so far, keep on pushing and you will smash through the finish line.
Important thing number 2, people are going to be able to read this thread in months and years to come, and perhaps even bring it back from the dead, because imformation like this and personal experiences are far better than what you can find on a factsheet.
This site and the people on here are fantastic you have all been so welcoming and no one has ever really judged me.
I have had a long chat with my mum this afternoon and after a few tears i am on the way up again :thumb:
I think i just expected so much from that meeting and it knocked me back a bit but with the help of those that love and care about me and of course you awesome guys on here i know i have the strength to keep waiting.
I always feel guilty after a rant because compared to some others on here my problems seem trivial and when i read some the heart breaking stories from other girls in my position on other forums, well i am having things ten times easier than some.
Oh well onwards and upwards as they say.
:thumb:
*hugs*
I am having a bit of a tough time right now, i am still waiting for my referal to a Gender id Clinic every day that passes is torture right now as i feel so bloody desperate its an awful feeling when you are so helpless to do anything more on your own.
I would have thought that the professionals i am pleading for help from would have some understanding of how i and others in my position feel but maybe they don't.
I have just discovered that one girl i chat to on another forum has been taken into hospital after attempting suicide i knew she was struggling and was not getting much support i had tried to be a friend but she really needed her family around her they obviously did'nt feel able to support her i hope now they will see things from her point of view.
I would like to visit her and take her a few things that might give her some comfort but i dont even know where she is let alone her real name.
Another member of my family has dis-owned me :crying:
Its not so much that they don't want to know me but the fact that it causes so much upset in the wider family.
The plan had been for a big get together around a meal but one older relative said that they didnt think it was a good idea for the "ladyboy" to go as it would be awkward ( well fuck you )
To top it off my aunt said "well couldnt HE just go in NORMAL clothes just for this" :banghead: :banghead:
I am feeling a bit isolated as my few friends have gone off to uni or work so it does get a bit lonely, my sister keeps trying to get me to go out for an evening to a club which i havent done for months and i do miss but i am worried about the mix of alcohol, dancing and boys, i can just see it ending badly :yes:
I have been offerd a job interview at long last which is great, but now of course i have to worry about when and how i mention my gender, its working in a kitchen of a posh hotel i dont even know what to wear to the interview someting not to smart not to casual?
Maybe i will email the HR dept and explain things before the interview that might be easier for everyone.
I'm sure your Aunt's suggestion was a well intentioned compromise, but that doesn't stop it from being a bad idea.
I think a night out is a good idea, even if you are less able to relax because you have to be more careful than others.
I can't offer much advice on the job front, but your sex shouldn't be an issue. Of course shouldn't isn't much use. I'd not mention it, unless asked - it really is none of their business (except for jobs where sex discrimination is allowed)
I'm with donkey_gay, I wouldn't mention sex/gender at your interview, unless you really want to.
I just recently joined this site but I saw the updated thread when I logged on today. I went back and read the whole 16 pages. You are an amazingly strong, confident, mature, intelligent woman!
The reason why your post was so important to me is because my husband is TS (female to male). I met him right before he started his medical transition. Now we have been together for 6 years. Although the gender identities are different, I saw so much of him in you. Some of the things you said were identical to the things I remember him saying years ago. I teared up whenever I saw you were in pain because I remember what those times were like for him.
I am sorry not all of your family can be as wonderful as your aunt, mum, and sister. I know how it feels when your family disowns you for something stupid. My family disowned me for loving my husband, simply because he is TS. Please always remember that the people who truly matter will always be by your side. It won't matter to them who disowns them, who puts up a fuss, who says what.... you are what truly matters. I also want to remind you that you will get through this. I know it must seem like an eternity now. My husband had to wait a long time before he got hormone therapy and an even longer time before he got surgery. However, I remember so clearly the first time he saw himself in the mirror after his surgery. He cried from absolute pure joy because for once the mirror was actually reflecting what he saw when he pictured himself in his head. It will happen. Someday your body will be just the way you know it should be. It will take awhile (I'm not going to lie to you) but that while will be so incredibly worth it. I guess you could kind of think of it as a second puberty.... just waiting for your body to mature to what it should be... only this puberty will be the RIGHT one.
I hope you continue to update with how things are going. I look forward to the blissful day when you can come on here and tell us when you will be starting hormones. I look forward to the day when you come on here telling us you will be getting surgery. But most of all, I look forward to the day when you can look in the mirror and see yourself as you truly are, a beautiful woman.... mind, body, and soul.
Much love and luck to you. *hug*
Reading this made me go "wow". Such an inspirational post. I'm sort of lost for words.
:yes: Its great to have you on the boards Ozzer
what she said :yes: hi ozzer :wave:
Katralla, i just don't know to be honest.
I think i was expecting a geater level of empathy from the professionals, some of the people i have seen in particular the physcatrist are very "matter of fact" about things that are actually major major issues to me.
I know i sound like a spoilt child but i am trying to be honest about how i feel.
Sometimes i get frustrated at the pace that things move i know i have said this before but the thing i can never get across is just how intense the feelings of desperation and depression are.
Being honest well yes i would like to have someone in the process to hold my hand and walk me right through all the stages, i would like someone to listen to me and accept that i am female and tell me i can skip all the assesments and begin treatment tomorrow.
I am probably being unfair i am sure they are doing the best they can and i hope you can understand that actually i am very greatful for the these people.
As far as the job interview goes i took the easy way out and emailed the HR dept, they replied with the standard "We are an equal opportunities employer.........."
So i am just going to attend the interview and not mention it again.
Wow, thankyou so much for your kind words and inspirational post, such a wonderful story i did actually shed a tear or two.
I am so happy for what you and your husband have together it just shows that there are happy endings out there.
Your husband is a lucky guy to have someone like you who so clearly loves him, i hope one day i can find a man who will love me like that.
I guess the fact that you went trough the transition as a couple has built some very strong bonds between you.
I am just at the very start of my transition and if i end up half as happy as you two sound i will consider myself very lucky.
Thankyou once again for your kind words you really have no idea what they mean to me and how they lift and inspire me xx
It is hard to find doctors who can give you the sympathy and emotional support you need. My husband went through a lot of doctors before he found one that was competent AND caring.
A google search brought up these resources for TS support in the UK. I don't know exactly where you are but maybe one of them would help or be able to point you in the right direction to a place that can.
http://www.beaumontsociety.org.uk/
http://www.clareproject.org.uk/
http://theangels.co.uk/
http://www.croydonlgbtnetwork.org.uk/trans.htm
Another good resource is the Metropolitan Community Church. http://ufmcc.com/ They are all over the world. We shyed away from this resource at first because of our religious leanings but once we gave it a try we were thrilled. They are a very open faith community and are supportive of all different faiths (from Islamic, to Buddhist, to even Athiest). The point is that they just want to be there to support people. Some people refer to them as the GLBT church. You would probably be able to find some people there who could help support you.
One of the reasons why things might not be moving as fast as you would like is because the majority of good doctors follow The World Professional Association for Transgender Health's Standards of Care (formerly known as the Harry Benjamin Standards). You can find them here: http://www.wpath.org/publications_standards.cfm
They detail the steps and precautions for medical transition. I'm sure when you read them you will have the same reaction I had, "this all takes too long!" However, they really are important. Prior to the Standards of care there was no actual agreed upon method for helping transgendered individuals. Before the 1960s the majority of countries didn't even offer safe, legal medical options. There were a lot of unproven (and unfair) psychiatric treatments. These included a lot of psychiatrists who would try and "fix the problem" and didn't recognize that some people just aren't in the right body. It might be a good idea to read over them yourself and to make sure that your doctors know about them.
It is hard to transition under the age of 18. My husband started transitioning socially at 16. He started the process with the Standards of Care as if he was 18 rather than following the standards for under 18. He found this worked faster than individuals who did it the other way around because as soon as he turned 18 he was able to start hormones. He ran into a lot of problems with doctors and didn’t get his top surgery until he was 22. It is a long process but it is totally worth it. The good news is that those who transition younger in life tend to have better results with the actual transition. Now no one can recognize that my husband is TS. People are actually shocked when they find out. So, don’t worry if it takes awhile. This is your body and major life decisions. I have no doubt that you will make the right decisions in your life but you want to do them as safely as possible.
Sorry for the long post, let me know if there is anything else I can help you with or if you ever need to talk. *hug*
http://www.mermaidsuk.org.uk/index.html
I have heard of Claires Project and have thought about going along to meet some people but i am actually rather shy and i may be wrong but i get the idea they may all be a little older than me but i may see if i can make contact through their site
Like your husband i started transitioning as soon as i could, when i left college i began living 24/7 and have been ever since i really hope that this will convince the GIC that i am commited and genuine and that i can be "fast tracked" through the assesment period.
I kind of rather niavely convinced myself i could be on hormone treatment before christmas i am now beginining to realise that is not going to happen.
I have at loooooong last been refered to a Gender id Clinic
I cant tell you how pleased and excited i am
My family and I have been through so much and i have waited so long its an amazing relief.
Celebrate good times - Come on :d
:d