If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Options
Being accused of faking disabilities and depression stuff
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I have problems with my eyes and what I can & can't do varies a lot - I have days where I can read small print for hours and other days, where I can't read any at all.
My hallmates can't understand this and are basically saying I'm faking my disabilities and only have them when it suits me. Clearly, having to eye drops in every day and having lights shone in my eyes, is just for fun. I am not doing that at all.
They had a go at me on Monday, which lead to me punching one of them and security being called.
On Tuesday, they made a lot of noise (bearing in mind, this was 12.30am) and I called security.
I got a lot of shit from one of the girls about this.
Yesterday, I got asked I saw the letter we got and I said yes. (saw that we had a letter; but hadn't read it) One of the other girls asked me the same question later on and I said the same thing.
I got called a liar because I can't [generally] read anything on white paper that's in small print. However, there are simple ways around this.
I then said "I suggest you look up Nystagmus and whilst you're at it, brain injuries".
The second girl then said it was odd that I'd only just mentioned my brain injury and therefore, I'm lying. (someone did tell me that it's normal for the full effects to appear after the initial injury) Tell me - am I the only one who doesn't feel the need to share my medical history with people I've just met? With some of my friends (and their children / partners) I only know about their disabilities because it's come up in conversation. Or I've met them and it's obvious that they have a disability and I've asked about it. (a friend of mine has a son who is four - he can't talk and just makes noises; he can't walk either and I asked him about this)
I stormed out and went for a wander. I came back a few hours later and got a load of shit from security. I was then let back in and went into my room to get some stuff and get ready to go out again. (not to wander - I'd planned to see a friend)
The girls saw me and shouted a load of abuse at me.
Because I stormed out, they came looking for me and had a go at me about that.
I have no idea what I'm meant to do now - I am looking to move out; but it's having the money to do so and finding somewhere to live. Thankfully, my timetable is different from theirs, so wouldn't have to see them again if I did move out.
To make everything slightly worse, my depression is back. However, I haven't started self harming again.
0
Comments
That sounds sounds to me like it could be classified as bullying, what those girls and your flatmates are doing to you.
Are the halls uni halls? Because if so may be worth seeing if the uni can move your room for you and give you a new one away from these people?
I completely agree with you too about sharing your disability, you shouldn't have to, they should accept that sometimes you can read, sometimes you can't. They shouldn't have a problem, but they do. You're better off moving out I think.
It's a shame you punched one of them because until then, they were completely in the wrong. That said -if I'd been as annoyed with them as you have been, I think I would have done it a long time ago. I would try to avoid further conflict with them. Can you just kinda, smile and walk away, even if they try to confront you?
Thanks.
I did just walk away from them last night - partly because I didn't want another confrontation with them and because I'd only come back for my phone, cards, key & laptop.
I am now 25 and even now i get people claiming i must be "faking it" because of my times in remittance.
I think that immaturity and narrow mindedness are something that most of us have to face at some point in our lives and for some it is worse or last longer than others.
The main thing is to understand that you do not have to proove yourself or your disability to anybody.
I would truely concider speaking to somebody official from your school/college/uni about this. or if you can't, try speaking to a close friend who can keep an eye on things and help you when anything negative happens. Feeling like somebody is behind you will be a huge weight off your mind.
Failing that, you always have these forums to poor your heart out on!
completely agree with this and katralla. i'd keep a record of everything that is being said and done to you too. with dates/times if poss and also the names of the people involved. this will help if you speak to someone at your uni about this.
Thanks. I do have a dictaphone, so can record stuff if I need to for proof.
A lot of the problem is that it's their word against mine. There are 6 of us in the flat - 2 of them are bullying me, 2 we never see, 1 is me and the other we sometimes see; bt he's also friends with them and generally sides with them.
On the good side, I haven't seen them since last Wednesday.
Best of luck. If it's having a detrimental effect on your health (and reading that what they are doing would have a detrimental effect on ANYONE'S health) then you really cannot continue living there. What they are doing is harassment.
You have a case to sue them for negligence though I'm not a legal person so couldn't tell you the ins and outs - but they definitely have a legal obligation to you.
They've just knocked on my door and claimed that calling someone a liar isn't harrassment or bullying.:yeees:
just dont respond, i know it's difficult. write down everything they say including times. make an appointment with someone at your union who can better represent you. you need support. unfortunately with some accomodation depts they see it more as a business. a union representative will know the ins and outs and be able to better help you. make the appointment asap! you will feel tons better once the ball is rolling a bit.
Yes I am. I have to go to uni tomorrow so will ask then.
1. What they are doing is wrong. It's bullying.
2. I suspect that they are acting out of ignorance, rather than hatred
3. I'm sure that you've realised that they cannot see through your eyes and therefore have little or no understanding of what you face on a daily basis.
4. Whilst it's one thing to tell them to "look it up", you would probably get a better response if you explain it to them.
5. It's worth asking the student union for support on this, but moving may only mean that you get into the same situation again.
6. You don't have to tell them a damned thing of course. But if you don't then they will just see something they don't understand and act as if it's you that has a problem rather than them...
Generally though, whilst I would expect people to treat you as they would want to be treated you have to face up to the fact that you are different. I don't mean that in a bad way. It just is just a fact of life. I still find that people don't understand why I cannot eat certain foods, or why I react to stress badly. It's who I am... all I can do is help them to understand that not everyone is as lucky as they are. It's means I have to be patient with some real fuckwits but I find them more supportive afterwards than I have done when I've got the arse with people.
I'm sure that you've faced people with a lack of understanding before, I'm certain that you will again. Either you can educate them, or you can walk away. I don't think anger (in any form) will actually solve this and neither will a tit-for-tat calling of security...
It's a thought, but you don't have to follow my advice at all.
Two things- someone here has been told that she'll be released from her accomodation contract if she provides medical evidence that her accomodation location is causing her back problems. So perhaps you need this to back up your request?
Another is that i know my younger brother needs due to his nystagmus a room with good light. It sounds awful but if they're being that bad can you mention something like this to them?
I have already explained to them what's wrong. Well, the basics. That is, my eyes wobble and that I have vision worse than normal. Their response? Why do you wear glasses then? According to one of the girls (whose parents work in the NHS and therefore, supposedly know everything) I don't need glasses. I can't see out of my left eye if I don't wear them.
I have also tried to explain that I can sometimes read small print - they don't understand how I can only sometimes do this. I have already explained to them why.
I have the opposite issue. Too much light hurts my eyes a lot.
Why don't you try directing them to Nystagmus Network or something?
that sounds like bullying. ive just been kicked out of my house by the other tenant because i have mental health issues and i took an overdose so she deems the fact that im ill to have the right to throw me out. im now living at home with my mum - ive heard of certain conditions in psychology and i do believe you. There is one condition where a person's vision is so bad that they can not see anything out of their right eye but they know the direction of objects in their right visional field - it is related to a part of the brain being damaged and the occipital lobe being intact - they sound like horrible people your flatmates.....hugs.
i would go and speak to welfare about your issues with the flatmates as they shouldn't be allowed to treat you the way that they are xxxx hugs xx and always here to chat xx