need some advice !!

Former Member

Hiya im new to the site. my name is leonie i need some advice on my realtionship i am 17 going into 18 and my boy friend is 22 we have been together for nearly 2 years and he has said he doesnt want to have kids at all and thats all i have ever wanted was to have kids but i love him and i want to stay with him but i dont know what to do becasue of the kid situation please help i am really confused on what to do

Former Member

Well... you're young and he's young. I personally swore to myself that I'd never ever ever ever ever have kids. I've taken a U-turn the past six months (I turn 25 this year) when I had settled down a little, started a career and recently bought my own house.

From what I can see you have three options, break up with him because of it, wait to see if he changes his mind (could take some time) or stay with him and not plan to have kids.

Personally I'd chill a bit, you're not even 18 yet so you're rather too young to lose sleep over it just yet.

Former Member

Hi leonie, welcome to TheSite

It's also worth remembering that the idea of having kids when you're 22 and if you don't feel ready will seem hugely daunting to him and hard to imagine. Has he explained why he doesn't want to have children? It might be worth talking it through some more and explaining to him how you've always pictured a future with children, perhaps he might agree not to rule it out completely?

As Jaloux says, people's minds can change. Further down the line he may feel differently but of course there's no guarantee of that. Breaking up over it would be difficult for you both but if you're sure about what you want and you don't think he can give you that then you may find it hard to just forget about it and carry on

It's a really tricky one though, there's also something to be said for enjoying the present especially if everything else in your relationships is ok? Do you think your other dreams for the future will fall in line? Maybe you want to travel or move away or get married some day? Do you think he has the same ideas for where your relationship might be headed?

I'd suggest trying to get him to open up a bit more about it and try not to worry yourself too much but have a good think about what you really want. Good luck, I hope you can work things out *hugs*

Former Member

thanks for the great advice its really appriciated and has helped alot. And we both have an amaizing relationship we have talked about and he has told me why he doesnt want them and i can totally respect that and we both want to get married and have our own house and probably move away someday, the only thing is i really dont want to leave something so great. we both have career minds and things but i hope that he does want kids in the future. thank you verry much for your help it has helped leonie x