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lost

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hey
I started looking on this website for help and advice and it has been really helpful.
I self harm, cut, and have been now for four months. I do it on my arms, I hide them quite well, although some people have began to notice them. A few of my close friends know, but they get frustrated about it. My parents dont know and im worried about them finding out, especially as its coming up to the summer, and i usually wear short sleeves. If anyone has any advice on how to stop I would really appreciate it because i have tried before and failed. I dont want to go and see a consellor because im a shy person and i dont think i would feel comfortable about telling them everything.
I dont know were to turn to anymore and feel so lost

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've noticed there are so many people these who are self harming, It seems to be very common, only you know why you self harm, my advice is to take your mind off it and do some exercise, get warmed up, do some start jumps, stretch out, look for some info on warming up and stretching online grab a bottle of water, and go for a jog, do this every day... hope you feel better soon..
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks for the advice and help, it means a lot. I have tried many ways of distracting myself from doing it, but i always return to self harm after a couple of days, its the best release that i know to let out all that is building up inside of me. I always feel much better after I have cut, but never do when i try something else.
    Thank you again x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i went through a stage of self harm, i think i was 14-15, something to do with a girl, looking back it seems silly as im sure it does to you now.. all i can think of is do things other than self harm, be it anything at all, you are a free person and can do whatever you want within reason. avoid any drugs including smokingand alcohol, get a good book, have a drink, some healthy food grown from the ground.. beans on toast aint too bad...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I guess im just worried that I wont be able to stop. And beans on toast sounds good. Thank you for giving me advice, I will let you know how I get on.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Perhaps you could try keeping a diary. Be creative. Write in it five things that haven't gone well that day, that you need to get off your chest, and five things that you are thankful for. take some time over your entries, decorate them, either by drawing or making a collage or anything else creative you can think of to visualise how you are feeling. A diary could distract you from self harming and also offer a way for you to get things off your chest rather than needing the relief of cutting.

    Are there certain times of day when you cut, for instance in the evening when you are alone in your room? If so, why not try to find things to do with that time where you are in company, perhaps sitting with a family member while they watch tv, or taking the dog for a walk or something.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    like it^

    buy a guitar, learn a few chords, write your thoughts down you know what happens when you put those to together..note books a good idea, im a paper back writer and my room is a tip for lyrics
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah there are certain times during the day that I do it. I usually do it in the morning before school and then just before I go to bed, that way my parents are less likely to notice. Also I do it any other time that I feel annoyed or angry.
    Yeah lots of people said that writing lyrics was good as you can express yourself usign words. Thank you for all your advice, its proving really helpful just to know that there is someone that I can talk to about it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Some ideas

    You could try writing songs or poems?
    Rubixs cube?
    Elastic band?
    Ice Cubes?
    Tooth brush?
    Reading a book - tht helped me
    Counting every minute, and every minute u dnt do it is another minute you are winning
    Hope it helps
    Love you babes x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Oo and Punching pillows helps!
    btw did you know wht i meant by elastic bands and ice cubes?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks for the advice and tips babe. Yeah the ice beg one is where you hold an ice berg in your hand until it's melted and the elastic band one you put it round your wrist and then *ping* it, sorry couldnt think of the right word. Xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    =d

    Yeaaah
    Hope They work for youu (:
    Hope your doing ok baby x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Im really struggling not to self harm. I have written down lyrics on pieces of paper, done exercise, read books, joined my family downstairs to watch Tv anything to distract me, but I always end up doing it again. I haven't cut for a day, which is a big deal to me as i usually do it 2-3 times a day, but I get really down and depressed when I dont self harm and I'm constantly thinking about doing it. Is that normal? Help!Dont know what to do. x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You could do that thing, where you're like 'I'm allowed to SH in fifteen minutes'
    Then watch the first part of a film, or TV programme, or read, or something absorbing.
    After 15 minutes, you can either SH, or say, 'another 15 minutes, and then I can.'
    The point is, either you get so absorbed by what you are doing, that you forget for a little while, or you just have the will power to carry on saying 15minutes more throughout the whole night.
    And if you end up SHing, at least you know you were allowed to do it after those 15 minutes, so that's better than just giving in.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well done!!!!!! Keep it up, just think how GOOD you will feel about yourself if you dont do it!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    -hugs-

    I like the suggestion two above
    Worth a try!
    Just remember, we all love you and are here
    Your amazing, believe it or not.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    -hugs-
    You could do that thing, where you're like 'I'm allowed to SH in fifteen minutes'
    Then watch the first part of a film, or TV programme, or read, or something absorbing.
    After 15 minutes, you can either SH, or say, 'another 15 minutes, and then I can.'
    The point is, either you get so absorbed by what you are doing, that you forget for a little while, or you just have the will power to carry on saying 15minutes more throughout the whole night.
    And if you end up SHing, at least you know you were allowed to do it after those 15 minutes, so that's better than just giving in.

    This sounds good, i would try tht, i will try tht

    Remember we all love you babe x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah I will try that 15 minute thing, it sounds good. Sorry about all the questions, but does anyone know if bi oil? actually fades the scars. And how much does it cost? Thanks for the advice and support. Xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Bio Oil

    Can work apparently but it takes a long time?
    Thts wht i heard anyway,
    ive tried it and it didnt work but i didnt try it for long enough i dnt think
    Massaging helps for temporary hiding but i dno how to fade them faster
    Would be helpful to know tho if anyone knows?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sorry about all the questions, but does anyone know if bi oil? actually fades the scars. And how much does it cost?

    If you only get a little thing of bio oil, it's not too expensive, about £5 if I remember rightly. YOu don't need too much so it lasts for EVER.

    But it isn't really that great, I thinkit's the massage and the miosturizing effect that do most of it, but if you rub any kind of intensive moisturizer on with quite hard massage it'll do about the same, I think.

    xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey
    Thanks for the replies and advice. Im doing ok. I cut last night and this morning, 5 times.They are a bit sore and have started doing them in different places as I dont have much room left on my under arm. Thanks babe x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You can do it

    Just keep trying,
    thats all anyone can ask you to do
    Just do your best,
    we're here for you
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