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Please help me I am scared of this situation!!! PLEASE

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
I want to leave due to abuse and I am so scared. I want to know what its like to live in a womens refuge in England. What will it be like? Will I have my own room? Will people be nice to me? I am so scared I am going to go into town tomorrow to find help. I am 20 and havent lived on my own before and I dont have a job and I go to college part time and I dont know what to do. Will I be able to take my things with me? Anything anyone can tell me will be so helpful as I am so on edge and have no one else to talk to. If I tell my mum then she will leave my dad and then all I have been through in my life will be a waste of time as I dont want to ruin her life so I am just going to go. I know of a few places in cheltenham that arent just for women (due to a few people I used to know living in them) and they were really horrible places and the other people living there were horrible and I dont want to go there. What if they try to send me there?

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I have no experience with this, but my thinking would be that if you have suffered sexual abuse, you would be unlikely to be sent to a mixed sex refuge. Best I can offer is the National Women's Aid website, which has a central helpline number 0808 2000 247 and a wealth of other resources: http://www.womensaid.org.uk/.

    Good luck and best wishes.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I stayed in a Womens Refuge for 4 months and it's not as bad as you may think. Be prepared for the constant sound of children - they're not the quietest places. You will be able to take your own things, I turned up with a car full of stuff! You buy your own food and cook for yourself, the kitchens are usually quite well equipped. You will also have your own bedroom. It's not all doom and gloom in these places. I was amazed at the laughs we used to have and I made some really good friends there. Remember, you are all in the same boat and we always tried to help each other out if we could. One word of warning - beware the scrounger, there's always one-the girl who always wants to borrow things, coffee, clothes, money etc. You'll never get them back. Also take sensible precautions with regard to your possessions, don't leave money or jewellery lying around.

    Good Luck
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi patience,

    Sound's like you are on the cusp of making a really big decision. You have been given some great advice here. We just wanted to add that you may be able to find some other services / organisations that can help you on our local advice finder - you just need to put your location in and 'abuse' and search. You may also be able to get some support and advice from someone at your college too?

    Please do keep posting to explore what is going on for you at the moment, We wish you every luck and success.

    Take care :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Question is, no matter how awful the idea of going to the refuge feels - can it be worse that what you face right now?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    MoK wrote: »
    Question is, no matter how awful the idea of going to the refuge feels - can it be worse that what you face right now?

    I have an unusual experience in a "Womans Refuge" I lived in one with my mother when I was in school, It was a lovely place actually, TV, Video, DVD, communual lounge, staff were friendly from what I remember but be preapred for LOTS of kids,

    you do get your own room, ours even had its own bathroom and you can get your own privacy, kitchens and everything else is well equipped, most people are friendly and understand what your going through (from what I remember people being like with my mum)

    I still remember the place quite vividly but deffo look into it, and the best of luck.
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