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People taking me seriously....

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
This might not make too much sense, so bear with me:-

I'm feeling really shit about things at the moment. I've been thinking the last couple of days about something my bitch of an ex told me. She said that the guy that came onto her when me and her were together knew that she was going out with me, knew who I was, and thought she could do a lot better than me, and she thought he was right. She wasnt angry when she said it, she was sooo calm about it, it really got to me. I'm over her, I would never go back to her now, but I still care about what she thinks, and what everyone else I know thinks about me.

I've always wondered about how people I meet see me, and I've usually assumed they think I'm a divvy. But I've always managed to put it to the back of my mind and get on with things like normal. But when things like this happen, then it just makes me think about it more, and I feel shit. Everyone just treats me weird, and I get walked all over the whole time. I dont even think its a matter of assertiveness, I'm really confident about who I am, its just the reaction I get from most people makes me feel sooo bad sometimes.

It's been almost ten months since my ex dumped me, and I've got on with things, but I've become more wary of who I do and dont trust now, and it makes relationships sooo hard. Even my mam was with me looking at flats today, and she kept treating me like a kid and I hate it.

I have got a few really good friends that mean sooo much to me, but they've all got boyfriends, at sometimes I feel like I dont want to burden them with all my shitty problems, so I unload them all on here or on my deadjournal. Then cry my eyes out whenever I go to bed.

I know I can be silly and immature, but I wish people I meet would take me seriously. They either think I'm gay and should be treated with contempt, or that I'm a silly little kid that should grow up.

Maybe its the fact that I am determined to be myself no matter what anyone thinks. God I dunno. I just wanna be taken seriously, and for people that know me well to look at me and think "Yeah, he's an alright bloke".

I just needed to get all that out.

Any advice would be lovely.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    *big hugs*

    well im not very good at giving people advice, but i would say its a good thing that your determined to be yourself no matter what. thats just the best way to be and if people dont like it then sod em. you just have to try not to worry about what other people think. i often feel like this. i wonder what people must really think of me. i can be very immature and i hate it. but at the end of the day thats just you so try not to worry about it and be yourself. i think you should try talking to your friends if it helps. yeah you dont wanna burden them with your problems but thats partly what mates are for. they wouldnt want you crying at night. im gonna stop dishing out the crap advice cos its not really helping, so try and cheer up, i hate it when people are miserable. :(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't know if this will help you but I'll give it a try.
    There's nothing wrong with you. I fell like that most of the time. Displaced.
    If your girlfriend told you she could get better she obviously doesn't deserve you.
    The important thing is being happy with who you are.
    I'm always trying to understand why people react the way they do and can't always figure it out, so I guess they don't undersand me either...
    Well, I'm all muddled now but anyway what I wanted to say is: don't let anyone get you down. YOU deserve better.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    have a body and mind "make over" change everything about you if your that unhappy your cry your self to sleep

    I can't fully understand what your going though because for some reason I get respect from other blokes not sure as to why??

    But maybe its the way you carry yourself. As I've said I can start to try and understand how you feel.

    but er how to word this without sounding like a dickhead!

    Okay maybe some people are like dogs, we can sense fear, and you being camp or people mistaken for being gay doesn't help your case. (I'm not saying gay men are any weaker or worse of then straight men) - (Look I don't mean it the way it sounds but I can't word it any better)....

    Sound like you have a lot of girl-friends, why not try and gain some male mates.
    I'm feeling really shit about things at the moment. I've been thinking the last couple of days about something my bitch of an ex told me. She said that the guy that came onto her when me and her were together knew that she was going out with me, knew who I was, and thought she could do a lot better than me, and she thought he was right. She wasnt angry when she said it, she was sooo calm about it, it really got to me. I'm over her, I would never go back to her now, but I still care about what she thinks, and what everyone else I know thinks about me.

    Your Ex sound like a bitch from hell, I wouldn't listen to what people say to your face, every one is so 'two face' these days and your Ex gf sound like she out to hurt you

    Why you care what she thinks of you I don't know?!.

    I think you sound like a top bloke. Don't let people bring you down, all that Should matter is what you think of yourself!!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I gotta agree with the general feeling in this post...you ex is a bitch. She says she thinks this other guy's better than you, well this may not help to much, but when you think about it, there's always someone better than you at something...it's a fact of life. You can't possibly hope to be the best guy for every girl out there, you just have to find a girlfriend that's right for you. Sounds like it's about time you try and get over you ex, and find a new girlfriend, that is, unless your happy being single.

    It sounds like you have more female friends, than male friends. Well why don't you go organise to go clubbing with your female friends, and get them to bring their boyfriends along. Get talking to the boyfriends, hang out with them if you can. Going clubbing etc. is also a great way of meeting potential girlfriends.

    You said you're determined to be yourself, fair enough...but are you happy being yourself? If you are, then stay the way you are, if you're not, do what Harmless said, and go for an image make over ;)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Heres something I heard recently...

    If you still worry about what people are thinking or saying about you then you are still sane..it's when you stop worrying that you need watch out!!
    Basically it is a natural human statefor people to think about these things and dwell on words others have said. It's just your EGO your ID.

    Be happy in yourself - she sounds like a bit of a cow and perhaps has bad feelings about herself which she tries to cover up by being mean to others, - don't do the same yourself.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Your an alright bloke :D
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think you seem nice too and a lot of fun. don't worry about being seen as camp, look at Alex off Big Brother :) Chin up.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    JEEZ M8!

    I feel EXACTLY the same!

    I get told im gat just coz i havent got a g/f and never have. I get walked over, and people just treat me with contempt.

    I mean, some people are OK, but other around them arent, which means they have to ignore you to kjeep their credibility. It can make u feel liek shit, but just get on with life and ignore them. There will always be people who like you... i have found this out more in the past few days.
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