tonight

Former Member

hi ppl
just need to get some stuff off my chest i think.
i have had a good few days so far a nioght out some time with my friends and even enjoyed giving my mates some guitar and piano lessons the're getting really good and its quite fun to be part of.
anyway tonight all this changed, dont no why i am slowly sinking again my mrs is at work till 12 which i dont really mind, but i cant stop myself i am about to go to the gym (that usually puts it off for a few hours like a fix lol) but i no that in a couple of hours i will feel horrible.
i really getting tired of all this and i just dont have time to get to a proffessional anymore i work 12hrs a day! 6days a week!
i just feel .....shit i guess. starting to get sad and everything is starting to get tainted with that negative spin you put on everything when your down. im getting so worried about myself i used to be able to go at least a couple of weeks without this feeling. nothing has happened nothing went wrong ( except my car broke down and thats being sorted by my gf brother for free).
i just cant understand it i almost booked a one way flight to new zealand just a minute ago, for no reason aah i live in england thats rediculous! i know i have some kind of depression but this cant be normal, even for someone who is depressed ?

im just worried i will do something stupid like i often do when this happens and i dont no how to stop it. in the past strange things ive done range from suicide attempts to driving to scotland and staying in a bnb for two weeks with everyone wondering where i am, to be honest i dont even remember the whole fortnight fully.
but anyway gonna see how tonight goes hope i dont spiral too much any comments or advice would be appreciated

thanx x

PS apologies for the essay, and sounding so whiney!

Former Member

Hello,
Have you spoken to anyone about this? Like a doctor? It can really help, and they may suggest a counsellor. Even if you are againt this, it is worth a go just to try it. Maybe it wont be the right thing for you, but it sounds as though you often feel unhappy. You can't go on feeling like this, no body needs depression in their lives and for many people speaking out can help. The first step if speaking on websites like this, or even reading self help books, but we aren't professionals.
When you feel like you are going to do something reckless, take a moment to think about the consequences (not just on the people around you, but on yourself too.) If you feel unable to do this, take a deep breath and count to ten. Then, when you feel able, think about how you feel and why you feel that way.
Good luck,
Broken-Angel x

Former Member

Broken-Angel wrote: »

Hello,
Have you spoken to anyone about this? Like a doctor? It can really help, and they may suggest a counsellor. Even if you are againt this, it is worth a go just to try it. Maybe it wont be the right thing for you, but it sounds as though you often feel unhappy. You can't go on feeling like this, no body needs depression in their lives and for many people speaking out can help. The first step if speaking on websites like this, or even reading self help books, but we aren't professionals.
When you feel like you are going to do something reckless, take a moment to think about the consequences (not just on the people around you, but on yourself too.) If you feel unable to do this, take a deep breath and count to ten. Then, when you feel able, think about how you feel and why you feel that way.
Good luck,
Broken-Angel x

i really try to take a breath and consider things at the point i am at now... but later on it gets well out of control, then i go along with my ideas for a minute eg, (trip to scotland lol), with no intentions of carrying them out. then the next minute i am on a plane or driving or really depressed its like i get taken over for a minute :eek2: or perhaps a fortnight:) .
then all of a sudden back to normal and feeling embarrassed or ashamed or guilty about doing something stupid, like a light switch on for a while then click the opposite!
thanks for the replies, think your right i just need to air it for a moment
thanks again x