Best friends

Former Member

I need advice I have a Best friend we are both in our 30's with two kids. This week I have received some very upsetting news and am really down she has emailed me and telephoned once, however she knows I really felt like I needed a chat and to meet up. She hasn't as she wanted some quality time with her husband before he goes back to work, this was Monday that things happened, she has now emailed me saying she could be for a little while at the weekend and go shopping (I think she was go shopping anyhow)

Is it me expecting too much of her, or this classed as not making much effort, I would be there is a shot for her, and I really needed her the last few days, yes she phoned and emailed, but she knows I really needed her??/

Former Member

I'm not sure the scale of your upsetting news but some people run a mile when they are faced with the prospect of supporting someone through a difficult time. In my personal experience of being the person needing support, the person on whom I thought I could rely on most, seemed to be avoiding me. It was only weeks later when I spoke to them about it, did it transpire that, due to their own personal tragedies, the person realised that they hadn't got over their own fears of cancer and death, and was shying away with dealing with it again.

If she is indeed your best friend, you ought to be able to say, "Listen. It's serious. I really need to talk to you now!". Insist that she makes time. Even if it's for an hour in the car and in the road outside her home.

Former Member

Yes not sure if it is that, as she is not the type to run away from bad news, I seem to think she is more the type to want to meet when it is most convenient, or talk through face book. I told her I needed support a couple of days ago and could really do with a chat but in person..

Former Member

I've been in this situation before and the friend said it was because he basically couldn't deal with the way I was being towards him.

There could be loads of reasons s9such as illness) that means she can't see you. It doesn't mean she's not making the effort.

Former Member

are you sure she understands the seriousness of your need? if so then perhaps she is afraid of getting involved it may be a topic close to her heart?
gd lk tho