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Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hello everyone. My name is james. I came here because I suffer from loneliness. I hope participating here will help ease the anguish. I've read literature on loneliness yet none seem to offer solutions to comfort oneself. I'm 26 years old. I've been lonely for over a decade. I'm very advanced intellectually which makes it difficult to relate with those my age and those slightly older dismiss me for being young. The ones I could relate with are older silver-haired retired pensioners -- probably because they're nearing death and as a result are less attached to material things -- and other social outcasts -- because no one else would listen to them. Is this common?

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't think intelligence in itself is a barrier to building social bonds with people, but I guess it can get in the way. I live with a physics phd and when he gets going about quantum entanglement and stuff I just tend to stare into space.

    But when you say you are feeling lonely, do you have friends you can talk to but just feel lonely? Or are you actually isolated and struggle to talk to anyone?

    There are so many people out there that there are people who you will be able to engage with and have an intelligent conversation with, you may just need to seek them out perhaps in evening classes or whatever. But at the same time you shouldn't be afraid of having 'down to earth' conversations about your favourite foods or whatever funny anecdotes happened last week as really with conversation a lot of the time it is less important what is said, and more important that it is there as a social / bonding thing between people. (e.g. talking to a stranger in the street about the weather!)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hi im not being rude. i will respond when i get the chance. cheers
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I suppose it's both. I have friends whom I don't often see. but when I do see them I sometimes struggle having a conversation because we only meet when we go to clubs and the in the clubs it's loud. Plus they don't respond much when I share something. Typically, it's "great music"; very shallow stuff. And I know clubs aren't the place to have meaningful discussions but with these folks there's no such thing. perhaps something intellectual they would say is "the problem with life is it has no background music" then everybody else confirms it. in that sense I'm isolated. It's a struggle being with them but they're what I have. I'm also lonely when it comes to love. I'm in a long distance relationship and perhaps the reason it's lasted is the other is desperate. So one can get a sense of what I have to put up with. Again the other is dull and unattractive. i'm seeing someone here whom I'm very much attracted to. Perhaps the opposite of the other one but she isn't staying here long, which makes me very sad and even more lonely. we both agree that it won't last. so I cannot express myself to her for fear of driving her away. Cos once she goes I am left with shallow relationships. Am I making sense? Sorry it's 4 am and I cannot sleep.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Heya there bud, how goes things?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    MrG wrote: »
    Heya there bud, how goes things?
    hello. i'm feeling left out. (haha. it always seem to be negative things from me so far.) i know many people going to the beach for xmas. the same story is in the facebook news feed. so others are having fun. meanwhile im spending xmas alone. ill probably clean around the flat. and you?
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