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never been ashamed of being a virgin b4, but i just dont want 2 tell him

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
right, u may have already heard my whinging about this guy, but our txt messages are getting worse, he is always asking what i like, what i want etc and what im good at

thing is GOD KNOWS! i just havent done this stuf, when we have been on a few dates if we get that far ido want 2 do stuff, but i just dont want him to know that i havnt done any thing at all before, will he be able to tell?

the whole virgin thing isnt as bad, but im 17 i know he is experience in every direction, and i just feel embarrassed when i shouldnt, in messages i can joke about stuff im gonna do, but if we ever speek on the phone i cant get away from it!

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    First of all I think you should tell him, he's not gonna look at you like you've got 2-heads, if he is a nice bloke he won't mind !!

    It is likely that if you don't tell him and things do get further between you you're gonna get more and more nervous. When I found my first gf she wasn't a virgin. I found telling her to be a hugh relief and it just made things more relaxed between us where sex was concerned.

    Also if you're not that comfortable about talking about sex when he calls you tell him and find something else to talk about. it's not all sex in a relationship you know <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

    Hope that makes sense !!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah. I agree with that!!

    If he's a decent guy then it should be no problem. Just make sure that when you tell him, the timing is right. Also, make sure that this is the guy you REALLY want to do things with. Make sure that he's the one.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Everyone gets paranoid over this, but you've (and he has) just got to remember that EVERYONE has a first time at some point or other, and everyone has their first times at different times! Your boyfriend will probably not really care if you're inexperienced, if anything he'll feel proud that he's your first. He'll enjoy teaching you. When it comes to sex, things rarely go completely smoothly first time, and there is always the am-I-doing-this-right paranoia, but if you're really into the guy, that sort of pales into significance because it's *him* you're doing it with. And I'd hope that works the other way round, too.
    Is it just me, or do people in relationships always tend to assume that their partner's the more experienced (especially if the partner's a bloke)? I was quite surprised when my boyfriend (22) told me he'd never slept with anyone before, but in a way, what was more surprising was that he'd also assumed that I had. (I was 18 and a virgin at the time).
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My ex flirted by txt very explicity with me between our first and second dates. It made me very nervous too because I was a virgin, and couldn't answer half the things she was saying and asking.
    So I told her so straight away and she was totally cool about it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You'll probably find out that he would think that you being a virgin is actually very sexy.

    [ 21-02-2002: Message edited by: ChunkyMonkey ]
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i agree with rnt my b/f really liked the idea that i was a virgin!! was really surprised by that!!

    anyway i no how you feel i was in that situation few months ago but if you dont talk it will only get harder to tell.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Of course they like the idea-they can be the all knowing teacher and they don't have to worry that you have had better before.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't think you shoul just tell him.

    Don't leave until you are just about to do the deed but don't tell him until you think you are ready to !
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think most people assume theyre partners more experienced cos its human nature to think everyones having sex apart from you, especially with the media.

    Dont rush to tell him, it could make him more nervous cos hell want to be perfect for you, but do tell him. Maybe when youre actually going out <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi,

    If he's mature enough he'll wait.


    franknhonest
    Still a virgin at 29 and counting.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Waiting wasnt an issue, it was whether she should tell him.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi again,

    Yes, just say you're a virgin and not into having any sex until you meet the right man and get married.

    Sound good?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    wow, you seriously have made me feel tonnes better!!! about the whole virgin thing, i cant believe i was so worried about it, when the last guy i got close to i told easily.

    its just the whole forplay thing im still a lil worried about but hey every1 has 2 start somewhere
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ovvvvver

    he isnt interested
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