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Wanting Marriage for future

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
I have been with my boyfriend for nearly two years. Through this time we have been through so much together. He has been previousely married now divorced and I have been dealing with her calling him for the two years we have been together. He is from Sweden and I am from Australia, I moved to Sweden with him to start a new life, his ex wife followed. I live in a crappy little house, trying to learn Swedish, haven't made any friends this town is really small with hardly anybody my age. I have said goodbye to all my friends and family back home and I want to know that it's worth it. I said to him I want to get married within 1-2yrs, and do you see that with me?, he replied no I don't think of marriage, maybe we can do it 4-5yrs, but he's not sure. I am thinking of going home and he isn't jumping over a bridge to stop me. He says he has issues but they are effecting me. Am I crazy to walk away from a happy relationship because he doesn't want the same future as me????Or is he crazy for letting me go because of his commitment issues????:no:

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Go home. This sounds totally shitty and isolating Selfish (on his part) too. and you wanna throw your life away in the hope you will be able to one day maybe marry this person? Maddness.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    First question is why does marriage matter to a long term relationship? its a ring and a bit of paper to say you love someone (in my opinion and probably your guys opinion)

    Second question is why would being married change the crappy little house, no friends and living in sweden part of your life?

    Have you listened to the issues that he has with getting married? The guy has gone through a divorce and has seen the ugly side of having a crazy ex wife. I dont think he is being selfish at all, just reasonable:
    I said to him I want to get married within 1-2yrs, and do you see that with me?, he replied no I don't think of marriage, maybe we can do it 4-5yrs, but he's not sure.

    He was honest about it instead of lying to you and:
    He says he has issues but they are effecting me.

    Think of his side of the story here and his experience of marriage and you will understand and work through those issues.

    To walk away from it seems hard, I almost walked away from a happy relationship because it didnt work out in denmark - quite like what is happening to you in sweden - and you need to think if its a tiny issue of getting married now or in 2 years or the fact you are probably lonely, depressed and pissed off with how things have worked out.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thank you for your honest opinion I appreciate it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Dump him and go home!!!
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